


Girl in The Mirror.

by mythborne



Category: Twilight Series - All Media Types, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Angst, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Love/Hate, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-14
Updated: 2020-08-31
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:26:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 23
Words: 73,874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24182830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mythborne/pseuds/mythborne
Summary: Once Noelle Uley thought she had everything - the guy, the promise of a future and all the things that came with it. But instead she was broken into a million pieces. Now she's come home and once again crosses paths with the one who let her go. Is she the same girl that left, or is the girl in the mirror someone she can no longer recognise. A faded memory and a lost love.
Relationships: Paul Lahote/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 17
Kudos: 77
Collections: Numerous OTPS Infinite Fandoms





	1. Something to remember you by

**Author's Note:**

> Author's Note: Hello, all, and welcome to my new(old) Paul / OC story. This story was once posted on the site about oh 11 years ago but i removed it and have now given it a complete makeover and rewrite. As yeah i first wrote this when i was originally going through my twilight phase and well.. I was a crappy writer. So i hope you enjoy this, and please review and let me know.
> 
> Also in this story - Paul and Jared first phased when they were 18 / Jacob is also a year older - so he’s 17 when he phases. Sam and Leah are 21/20. It just spaces out the ages better and makes it all a little more sense. So yeah given this is based off New moon - at the beginning - this is the ages. (let me know if that makes sense.)

**\- La Push, Washington -**

**\- Noelle -**

**\- Six Years ago - setting the stage -**

Sometimes in life there are moments that you hold on to with both hands, scared that if you let your fingers breathe even a millimeter that whatever it is, is going to slip away and you’ll never recapture it again. It can be love, a person, a moment. Yet no matter how strong you have your grip, how tight you hold your hands, everything slips through eventually and you’re left with the cold hard feeling of nothing. 

So as Noelle Uley stood there looking at the male before her, she wished with every shred of dignity she had, that she’d held on harder to both the male as well as the memories of a few weeks ago. Delusionally she figured if she held on, she could have kept him. Kept him away from her brother and the ‘cult’ that was slowly forming around Sam Uley. But here he was, her boyfriend, the newest member. _Sam Uley had taken Paul Lahote_. 

How many times had Noelle worked to ignore the whispers about her brother, how she worked to ignore the heated looks he’d throw at her if she dared to ask him what was going on. How she’d played fucking clueless when Jared Cameron started following her brother everywhere - his whole image changed into a carbon fucking copy of her brother. She was his sister and she suffered for his actions, everyone looking at her as though she held all the answers as to what her brother was doing.

_She didn’t._

Her brother’s crazy antics had started a few months ago when one day out of the blue he went missing - for two weeks she joined his girlfriend _Leah Clearwater_ in looking for any piece of information she could about him. Praying with everything inside of her that he was okay. She loved her big brother with an intensity that she knew most younger sisters did. Noelle knew without the shadow of a doubt that her big brother would always be there. The quiet strength at her back. The guiding hand she needed if she was to fall and make a mistake. That was Sammy, _her big brother_.

And the thought of him missing was something she wasn’t sure she could handle. Not sanely at least. Which is why it wasn’t too uncommon for those two weeks - that Noelle spent many a night asleep in her brother's bed, pretending for a moment that the smell of him was comforting, her eyes rimmed red with tears as she became haunted by the prospect that something had happened to her big brother. Her boyfriend was understanding, he knew how much Noelle needed her brother - and god nothing could replace him. Not in her eyes.

Two weeks later he came strutting back in the house as though nothing had happened - their mother not even bothering to shout at him as she was just so happy that her baby boy was home. But Noelle could see her brother was no longer the same, he was taller, more muscular and he had a look in his eye that scared her everytime she met his dark eyes. Her brother had gone missing and what returned in his place was a stranger.

_And from there her whole world just rolled into one huge ass clusterfuck_. Noelle watched as her brother dumped Leah and started dating her cousin - something Noelle couldn’t understand - she also watched as her brother spent a lot of time watching Jared Cameron and Paul Lahote. Now that wouldn’t have bothered Noelle too much, if it wasn’t for the fact she was dating Paul. And had been for over a year, the two having formed a relationship out of a friendship that traced back to childhood. That was what annoyed Noelle, as yes she knew Paul had previously slept with a lot of girls, but they were solid. And Sam had approved, or so Noelle thought.

But over time she started to note even more changes - how one day Jared went missing too. And when he reappeared a few weeks later back at school he was pretty much the clone of her brother, gone was his long hair and teenage body. In his place stood a man who had the same look as her brother. At first she had shrugged it off as Jared copying Sam, _after all they were friends_ , but Noelle knew something else was going on. Every one of her gut instincts told her so but everytime she dared to go near Sam and Emily’s house to ask her brother, he shut her down, telling her that she didn’t need to know and it wasn’t any of her business. Gone was the siblings who told each other everything - now they were two ships passing in the night. Two strangers with nothing in common.

After Jared’s ‘ _change_ ’, Noelle would find herself spending her time with both Paul and with Leah. The two of them had managed to keep their friendship despite the way Sam had treated Leah - Noelle always willing to listen as Leah ranted and inserted her own curses regarding her brother. And for a while things were normal - her and Paul were good, her and Leah were still friends and for a moment Noelle could ignore the weirdness with her brother. Whenever she saw him around the reservation she simply rolled her eyes and continued on with whatever she was doing. If her brother wanted to be an ass then she would return the favour.

**_Leah had been giving her good lessons on how to be a bitch_ **.

But of course her pain or her brother’s weird control on the boys of La Push didn’t stop there. No, Sam had to go and take it one step further. _He had to take Paul away from her too_. It had started when the two had gone to the Cinema in Port Angeles - their graduation so close they could taste the freedom of finally being done with their studies. And with finals around the corner they wanted to spend as much time as they could simply being together, enjoying the time they had together before Noelle went off to college. She was going to get out of La Push and build something for herself.

The date was going well, the two of them making fun of a couple seated a few rows over from them and Noelle honestly thought things couldn’t get much better. But she had soon learnt that sometimes it was best she kept her mouth shut. Nothing would ever be good again. Not since her brothers change. It had been something so stupid - a random stranger commenting on Noelle’s ass - that set off a chain of events Noelle hadn’t seen coming. One moment she was holding on to Paul’s hand and fighting to ignore the comments being thrown at her and next. Next she was watching as Paul beat the guy, his hands gripped in tight fists as blood cascaded down the males face.

She was numb, utterly numb as she watched her boyfriend. She knew he had temper problems, she’d witnessed it herself a few times during school, but he had never brought it around her. He had never done something like this when she was within arms reach. At the time Noelle knew it was to keep her brother happy, Sam wouldn’t have allowed the temperamental Lahote boy to be around his baby sister if he was constantly losing his temper, but she also knew it was Paul’s choice. A part of him begging Noelle to see past his anger, his womanising ways to the man underneath. Well so she had believed.

_Or had she lied to herself the whole time_.

She couldn’t remember screaming his name, though she knew her mouth was becoming more and more hoarse. People gathering around them, watching the spectacle Paul was causing. But she remembers, with vivid detail as his obsidian eyes locked on her hazel ones. Watched his face morph into pain as he took note of the silent tears falling down Noelle’s skin and the way her arms were wrapped around herself as though she was trying to keep herself in one piece. A slow blink of hazel eyes and he was gone. She’d looked in the direction he’d gone and her eyes landed on those of her big brother - the same eyes that had spent weeks shining with hardness were now full of sympathy and pain. She hated seeing it there, _what right did he have to care now_ ?. He’d hurt her far more than Paul ever had.

She couldn’t remember getting home or dragging herself into bed so that her mom didn’t see her tears and ask too many questions. The next few weeks were spent going through the motions - Leah the steady strength at her side as someone who understood the pain Noelle was feeling. Even if their situations were different. Paul too was missing. A snort of indifference had fluttered off her lips when she noted it, three days later and Paul still wasn’t at school.

_Which led to now_ \- three weeks later as she stood in front of him. Her feet bare on the porch steps as she stares at her boyfriend. Hazel eyes drinking in his much larger frame, the muscles that seemed to ripple with an unnamed energy as he stared right back at her. His fists clenching at his sides and she wasn’t scared to admit that for a moment she was truly scared of him. Her memories of him beating that stranger much harder to forget than she liked. But she continues with her silent observations, dragging her eyes across his russet skin, confusion blatantly obvious as to why he wasn’t wearing a shirt but another part of her would admit she wasn’t truly complaining about that fact. It was a damn good sight.

Her eyes continue to drag upwards till they lock on his obsidian gaze - the intensity of his gaze causing a small gasp to slip off her lips. She felt like she’d just been electrocuted, or injected with a thousand watts of adrenaline, every part of her becoming irrevocably tied to the male before her. Her body thrumming with the need to go to him, to feel him pressed against her, to taste his skin under her tongue. But she ignores it - despite how much she wanted to give in. He had left her, he had fucked off for three weeks and now he stood there, just like Jared and Sam - more muscular, hair shorter and an intensity in his eyes she didn’t understand.

But where she succeeded in fighting the wants of her body - Paul didn’t, and Noelle felt like a hunted animal as Paul stalked forward. His steps silent on the old wood of the porch as his hands come to frame her face, delicate and restrained despite the tension she could see in each of his muscles. And as his lips come down on hers, rough and heated, she doesn’t fight as her whole body caves to his ministrations. Her arms come up to wrap around his neck as she returns the kiss. Relishing in the feel of it - _the feel of Paul_.

The heat of his body burns through the shirt and shorts she was wearing, the chill of her skin evaporating as she flattens herself against him, almost craving to climb inside of his skin. But far faster than she’d have liked, he pulls away and Noelle takes the moment to drag air into her lungs. Her chest rising with her heaving breaths as she looks over at Paul. A satisfied smirk covering her face as she sees he’s in the same boat, his breath skirting out in harsh hisses as his hands return to their clenching action of before.

❛ We can’t do this Elle. We … just can’t – ❜ 

The words sober her up far faster than the chill in the air ever could as she stares at him, head cocked to the side but he doesn’t meet her eyes again. Instead he squeezes them closed and tilts his head towards the side and despite everything telling her not too, Noelle can’t help the sarcastic laugh that slips off her lips as her head shakes. God this was just perfect - no doubt this was her brothers doing. She’d have to text Leah later to see if the words Paul had just spoken seemed familiar to the other female. Because if they were, she wouldn’t be held responsible for what she did to her brother.

❛ Is this Sam’s doing **_?_** ❜ she can’t stop the question from falling off her lips, and it’s enough to drag his eyes back to hers. ❛ Did he tell you to come here and do this **_?_** ❜ She had to know, as much as it would hurt, to know her brother had forced Paul to end their relationship. _She had to know_.

The turmoil on his face would have softened her had it been any other moment, she would have backed down and let it all play out. But now, she needed the truth from him. He had been missing for fucking weeks, and came here and played this. She had already lost her brother, she couldn’t lose Paul too. But as she looked in his eyes, the severity of the situation landed on her shoulders - she had already lost him. It was there on his face, in every line of his frown, and the way he seemed to be trying to put some distance between them.

_She had lost him_.

Silent tears make a track down her face as she steps forward, only for him to take a step backwards. Always keeping distance between them as though it was truly a bad thing to be this close to her. It hurt more than his words, the ones she knew were formulating in his mind and would soon be filling the air between them.

❛ It’s got nothing to do with Sam – ❜ his growled words only garner a nod from her. ❛ We just can’t fucking do this Elle. I mean let’s be real did you really think i was a one woman kinda guy. That i’d settle down with the paleface sister of Sam Uley and live happily ever fucking after. You're delusional baby if you thought that was who I was. I mean yeah fucking you was fun and damn you’re good in bed, but i aren’t the happily ever after type and you were fun whilst it lasted. **_!_** ❜ 

And there it was, the words Paul had never spoken to her but the ones strong enough to have a stuttered breath escape her lips. Throwing in her face that her birth mother was a pale face, her father being the cause of her Quileute heritage. But she fights through the pain, and instead continues forward. Her hands settling on his face and forcing him to look at her. And despite the pain she felt inside, the way she was shattering into a million fucking pieces at his feet, a stubborness shines in her hazel eyes.

❛ You’re an asshole **_!_** ❜ she growls in retaliation to his words but unlike him, hers were softer, broken. ❛ And if you want this to end then it can fucking end. But you’re going to give me one thing – **’**

She really was a masochist. As whilst she stood there bleeding from the cuts his words had caused, she raises herself up to her tiptoes, her hands drifting to his neck where she pulls his head down the rest of the way to meet her lips. The moment they meet, Noelle feels that same intensity spread through her veins. But where it had pleased her before, now it was like another knife in her chest. She had expected him to push her away, to give into the anger she knew was brewing inside his veins - but as he returned the heated kiss. She’s almost positive that kills her more than rejection would.

Too soon he pulls away, the distance one that warms her skin as his breath skirts over her face. The smallest movement would have their lips once more attached where Noelle painfully wanted it. But she can see in the way his jaw clenches that he truly wants to run away, wants to extract himself from her hold but curiosity was keeping him there. Curious about the one thing she wanted from him. She was tempted to drag it out, to prolong the time she had in his arms but she knew that would hurt more. 

_It would probably kill her_.

❛ Give me something to remember you by – ❜ 

The words are a hissed plea, begging him to give her something. If he wanted to leave her with empty arms and a shattered heart. She wanted something to cling too as the nights grew cold. It was probably the most stupid thing she’d ever done - but it wasn’t the first time all rational thought left her when shes near Paul. He had this talent of turning everything she thought she knew, right on it’s bloody head and leaving her second guessing everything she knew about herself.

Just like she was now. And the seconds she waits for him to digest her words, to decide if he was going to grant her last wish felt like a lifetime. The only thing she had to track the passage of time was her heartbeat and it reverberates loudly in her ear. Yet the moment his lips crash back on hers, his hands tightening their grip on her hips. She had his answer, he’d give her what she wanted. He was going to give her something she could hold onto with both hands, something that wouldn’t drip through her fingers and float into obscurity.

She was sure she’d slowly die with the knowledge that by tomorrow - **_this would all be a memory_ **.


	2. It always bloody rains

**\- Forks, Washington -**

**\- Noelle -**

**\- Present Day -**

Small towns weren't really Noelle Uley’'s thing, not since she walked away from one when she was eighteen, but like most small town girls, _they all return one time or another_ . For the first time in Noelle's life, she was truly starting a new chapter of her life and she wasn't really sure what to do, or how she was to navigate the new life she found herself in. Until she was eighteen, her ‘ _mother_ ’ and brother took care of her finances and studies. Noelle wasn’t Allison’s real child - instead she was a bastard of her husband Joshua Uley. But Allison had done the rarest thing that most cheated wives couldn’t. She took Noelle in and raised her as her own, helping her be a good woman, helping her with her schooling and teaching her how to handle money and life.

After she ran away from La Push she headed in the direction of _Boston_ , where a distant uncle related to her birth mother was willing to take Noelle in and help her with her studies and finances whilst she went through school to be a nurse. She’d admit it was weird - having spent all her life around her Native American roots - to now spend it around her ‘ _paleface_ ’ relatives. When she was in La Push, no one had really commented on the fact she was half paleface, not even when it was blatantly obvious that she was. She took after her pale mother far more than her native father. But she guessed with Allison taking her in, that had caused the whispers to remain as just that.

So for the next six years Noelle spent her days at school and making new friends deep within the city of Boston. She had always been a people person so it wasn’t hard for her to make friends and she’d dated more than a handful of guys - but the relationships, barring one, never worked out. She may have run away from La Push, but the memories of what caused her too still lingered, dug deep within her soul and having her judge every relationship based on her ex. It was something she hated, how when she was with someone his face would flash before her eyes and she’d catch herself comparing the person she was with and ‘ **_him_ **’. 

_Even after six years she still couldn’t say his name_.

She fucking hated him, hated how he still had his hooks in her and she knew, without a shadow of a doubt that she still loved him. God she still loved him even now but she couldn’t forget the way he tore her into a million pieces. Left her nothing more than broken pieces in the wind. He had truly learnt how to break someone's heart from her brother - Noelle and his situation such a mirror of Sam and Leah’s that she would have laughed had she not been in so much pain.

If she allowed herself she could close her eyes, and remember with vivid clarity that moment on her mother's porch as he destroyed what was left of her. The cracks beginning with her brother but the ending being oh so gloriously his. The words that had left his _sinful mouth_ forever imprinted in her mind and she could recall them without even having to try too hard.

But she was also to blame. She had done the one thing she shouldn’t have done - she begged him for one more night. And he’d given her it, he had given her a part of him she knew she’d never forget and would never be able to remove from under her skin. Noelle was the masochist who had asked him to do it, had begged him to cause her more pain. His every touch, every breath against her skin, the way he moved against her - they were all knives in her heart and she’d taken them all. Had returned every feeling despite how much she was dying inside.

 _She’d willingly walked into hell_.

In the morning before dawn had even broken in the sky, she’d climbed from his arms and dressed silently before walking out of not only her mother’s house but also La Push. The air silent around her as the rain battered down on the roof of her car. As though the gods were crying in place of the tears that didn’t dare fall from her own eyes. Each mile placed between them felt as though her chest was caving in but she’d agreed. She’d agreed with him that if it was over then she wasn’t going to stop it. 

The one thing she hadn’t said was that if it was over - she wasn’t staying in La Push. She couldn’t, she couldn’t stay in the small town and watch him walk past her like a stranger. She couldn’t watch as he moved on, couldn’t watch the way a girl hung off his arm and he gave the female the same attention he’d once given to her. She refused to become as cynical and heartbroken as Leah. She wouldn’t survive it. She wouldn’t survive watching him move on as she slowly fell to pieces

 _So she ran_.

And for the last six years she tried to move on - she failed more than once. But she built a life and begrudgingly she’d admit that Paul breaking her, destroying her, gave Noelle the strength she needed to reach her dream. She’d passed medical school with honors, her internship at one of the local hospitals passing in a blur and before she knew it, she had graduated and was now a fully trained ER nurse. Her degree meant she could walk into any hospital and immediately start work without them questioning her. _She had built something_ , out of the ashes of her heartbreak.

 _Fuck you Paul Lahote_ , she thought wryly as a smirk tilts the corner of her lips. 

Arms wrapping around her waist have her jumping slightly as hazel eyes cut over her shoulder to land on emerald green, a smirk curling her lips as she notes the warmth settled within them. Allowing herself to relax she feels her body lean back against the broad expanse of the chest currently pressing against hers. His breaths as stuttered as hers as they fight off the cold chill in the air. Both of them too used to the city and suffering under the weight of the rainy Washington chill.

Daryl Moore was someone who creeped up on her - a mutual friend through school that slowly became something more. He had an infectious laugh and whenever she was around him, she forgot her problems. He gave her the option to simply enjoy her time, to laugh and make mistakes. He was softer than guys she was used to spending time with but it was his softness, his understanding, his whole self that won her over in the end. And dating him - _it just made sense_.

Noelle would admit that she found it hilarious that out of all the guys in Boston, she ended up dating one who had lived and grown up in the small town next to her. The fact that at any time the two could have crossed paths was something she couldn’t help but think of every now and then, on how if by chance, their story could have started earlier. God knows it would have been easier, she wouldn’t have had to suffer through her heart being ripped to pieces. He was older than her by two years but it didn’t erase the fact of just how ‘ _close_ ’ they’d been to starting their story earlier.

 _Even her brother would like him_. 

She turns, arms coming up to circle the broad chest in front of her as she smiles, the smile one full of heat and a remnant of the girl she had been so long ago. When the idiocies of true love were something she wholly believed in and wanted to grasp so desperately. _Daryl wasn’t her true love_ , but he was definitely someone she could see herself loving for a long time. Someone who knew she was broken inside and worked to fix the pieces in the best way he could, not asking questions when he already knew she wouldn’t answer. It was easy to love him. It was as easy as breathing.

❛ You ready for tomorrow **_?_** ❜ 

The words bring a chill to her skin that’s even worse than the air, a sense of nerves fluttering around in her stomach and it takes her a moment to calm them down. _To remember how to breathe_ . Of course, tomorrow was her first day working at Forks Hospital. Under the provision of one **_Dr. Carlisle Cullen_ ** . She was nervous, not just for the fact that she would be working at the hospital, but at the prospect of living and working so close to the people she ran away from. Noelle had never expected that she’d come home, or at least close to it, but her and Daryl were both from this area. And despite how much they tried to deny it, they craved the simplicity that came from being **_home_ **. 

But she was also nervous as hell to be around Dr. Cullen - when she’d met him two days ago to finish her paperwork she had felt uneasy about the way he was looking at her. Something in his face just had the hairs on the back of her neck standing on edge. She couldn’t name what she was feeling, how her whole stomach just clenched whenever he spoke or looked at her. Secretly she was praying she didn’t come into contact with him too much, as she wasn’t sure how she’d truly respond to being around him. Or if she could even handle being around him constantly.

❛ I... I don’t think i’ll ever be ready to be the new girl – ❜ 

The words are a tease, a play on words he’d spoken to her when she started her internship. A simple sentence that had soothed the butterflies raging in her stomach as she took in the busy ER and the doctors who knew what they were doing with an ease she was nowhere near perfecting. But she’d done it, she’d become a part of the team and had learnt the proficiency that seemed to stem from her teachers and the other doctors. And now, now she’d have to learn it all again. Learn the ease to work with her teammates but where she was nervous and out of her depth - this time she was more than ready.

❛ Plus – ❜ she croons softly as she leans up, her lips a hair's width away from Daryl’s. ❛ There is also another new guy starting right along with me **_!_** ❜ 

Her whole face blooms with unrestrained humour as his groan spreads between them, he could hide it as best as he could but he too was nervous for morning. Where Noelle was starting in the ER, Daryl was staring as the new trauma surgeon. Why Forks would need one she didn’t know, given it was such a small town, but alas he was going to be getting paid well and that was something he couldn’t complain about. _Even if she silently did_.

❛ Yes well – ❜ an eyebrow arches as she waits for him to finish that sentence but his short shake of the head told her that he wasn’t going to finish it anyway. Or at least not in the way he originally was going too. ❛ Given this town doesn’t get many new things happening. Safe to say we’re going to shock them - twice **_!_** ❜ 

A soft frown creases her forehead as she wonders what he means but as he grabs her left hand and runs his thumb over a certain ring, she gets her answer. Ah that’s right, _their upcoming wedding_. That was truly one of the only reasons she agreed to come back, his parents helping them with a house, getting them the job interviews with Forks hospital and helping them with other necessities. All so that their main income could go into the planning and execution of their wedding. 

She was still getting used to the idea that in five short months she would be Mrs. Moore and that at the age of twenty-four she would be married and successful. Yet it wasn’t the idea of that, that bothered her, it was the fact that she always knew she’d be married before she was twenty-five. It was just the fact that she had once envisioned all this with a different guy. And of course, in her past dreams - her brother would ideally be a big part of her wedding. And that, she wasn’t sure was going to happen now.

❛ Hm. Then I say we best prepare to knock their socks off **_!_** ❜ 

Leaning up she presses a soft kiss to the corner of his lips before pulling away, her attention drawn to the boxes still situated in the back of her car. A similar situation mirrored in the trunk of Daryl’s car and with a short glance over to where he is, she can’t help the chuckle that falls from her lips. The both of them then start to move as they take boxes out of their cars and into the simple two story house that was now their home for the foreseeable future.

It was quaint in its simplicity, the front door opening up to the living room, with the stairs right in front. A small kitchen towards the back of the house and two bedrooms and a bathroom situated on the top floor. It wasn’t much but it was enough for a working couple who were saving for their wedding. Even if Noelle kept having visions of burning the yellowing paper in the living room. After all, scorched was a much better sight than yellowing. 

For the next few hours the two move in a comfortable routine as they bring the boxes in, clean the house of its dust and set about organising their belongings. Neither of them wanted to work long shifts and then come home and do the house. God knows Noelle wouldn’t manage it after long hours of settling inside the ER. Definitely not after spending god knows how many hours with the doctor that freaks her out. So they settle into the easy routine, both making jokes and comments regarding the constant rain that batters down on the small house. The noise being the beat to their movements.

 _It always bloody rains_.

God she did not miss that when she was living in Boston, a city that blessedly had more sun than her hometown and Forks combined. Her skin now a tanned gold that made her more similar to her brother than her previous pale skin had done in the past. Yet she knew, living in the climate they were now, her shade would change. She would once more be the half paleface sister of Sam Uley - La Push’ golden boy.

As she sorts through the clothes in the wardrobe her mind drifts to her brother and she can’t help but wonder what the last six years have looked like for him. Was he married to Emily now - was she an aunt. _Did he miss her ?_ All those thoughts swirl around in a whirlwind of longing and pain. As whilst she really did want to know what happened to him, there was no way she could forgive him. He was her big brother, her rock and he had abandoned her. He had chosen to keep her on the outside, to lie to her face openly after years of sharing their pain and suffering.

To some it wasn’t worth it, the way she held onto the pain. But for her it was a lifeline - it kept her breathing and stopped her being so trusting. To make sure she never allows someone else to hurt her the way her brother and Paul had. Sam’s absence was like a dull throb inside her heart, her graduation from Harvard another thing he had missed due to holding her at arms length and when she’d looked out at the people gathered, at her mother who sat there with tears in her eyes, she had missed his hulking form and his big grin.

 _Enough. stop it_ , she chides herself as she finishes organising her scrubs. _Sam made his bed, he can fucking lie in it. Paul with him for all i fucking care_.

❛ Babe you hungry **_?_** ❜ 

Daryl’s voice is like a bucket of cold water, drowning out the bittersweet memories and Noelle turns with gratitude at his timing. Her head nodding as she follows him back into the kitchen, hazel eyes now observing the way the house looked. _It looked like a home_. A soft smile raising the corner of her lips at that thought - as different as her life was to the plans she’d made so long ago. She could relish in the feeling of being in a home, of making something out of four walls.

Conversation is light between the two as they eat, both of them feeling the tiredness that was now starting to seep into their aching bones. Noelle’s nerves and fears for the next day also weren’t helping, all she could think about was the potential of working with the doctor that freaked her out. Furthermore - the apprehension that working at Forks Hospital meant that at one point, she would potentially cross paths with her past. As whilst the reservation had some healthcare - _it didn’t beat the main hospital_.

But those were something she wouldn’t voice - not to Daryl. After all he had no idea the true reason she’d left home. He had no idea that some nights when she was weak she was dreaming of another man that wasn’t him. No it was safer that she kept those fears on lockdown, safe within the confines of her tattered heart. It kept her safe, _it kept her heart safe_.


	3. The stranger beside me

**\- Forks, Washington -**

**\- Forks Hospital -**

**\- Noelle -**

To most the apprehension of the first day at work was because their nerves were running haywire through their system - butterflies flying a tandem in their stomach making it hard to keep food down. But for Noelle it was more than that, she had the jitters that came with starting her new employment but she was also full with trepidation at being around Dr. Cullen. There wasn’t a set thing about him that put her on edge - though she’d admit he was way too good looking to be a doctor. The man was like a supermodel with his golden hair, weird ass coloured eyes she was sure were contacts and pure white skin. But add all that with the looks he threw her when she was talking with him and she couldn’t help but wonder if he knew some secret she just wasn’t privy to.

It was stupid to think that she knew, yet there it was burning inside of her as she stared in his golden eyes. She didn’t know if it was the simple fact she didn’t trust people that had her feeling that where the doctor was concerned or if it was something deep within her gut that was making her be so apprehensive - either way it was there. Controlling her every move and actions. From the moment she was reintroduced and tasked with following him as she got used to the ebb and flow of the ER she had been trying her hardest to keep some distance between them.

Daryl had come down early into the shift to introduce himself to the ER staff and she watched as Cullen all but charmed her fiance’s socks off - Daryl laughing and smiling within five minutes of speaking with the enigmatic doctor and yet she couldn’t even bring herself to stand close to him. The other nurses were just as bad, all watching as he went past like schoolgirls with a crush and she wanted to hurl - some of them were even older than she was.  _ Like come on how is that bloody normal _ .

❛ Are you okay **_?_** ❜ 

Even his voice set her on edge - it was too high to belong to a male. Or maybe she was just used to men having a husky tilt to their voice, a distinct tone that extinguished them from the female population. But Dr. Cullen’s was on a whole different level and if she had to hazard a crazy ass guess - she would call it musical. Which again was fucking weird and each time he spoke she was sure her ears were going to bleed -  _ okay so she was being overly dramatic _ with that but it wasn’t far from the truth. She hated listening to him talk but he was her boss, and thus not much could be done in her defense.

❛ yeah it’s just a lot to take in. you know – ❜ she mutters and even Noelle had to admit it wasn’t her best lie.  ❛  _ I just don’t want to let you down Doc _ . ❜ There we go, much better. Even if speaking those words were like pulling teeth.

He smiles at her in what she guesses is supposed to be a friendly way and starts to quietly assure her that she wouldn’t let him down but her attention is distracted by the curve of his jaw. For some reason she spends way too much time watching it and noting how the skin didn’t seem to move like a normal person - that or his skin was just naturally taunt. Either way she works to clear her thoughts as right now she was far too obsessed with pointing out what annoyed her about her boss and not focusing on the work at hand.  _ Yeah great first day Noelle _ , she thinks with a tinge of spite towards herself as she zones back in on what Dr. Cullen was explaining.

After she stops obsessing over the little things in regards to her boss she starts to settle into a routine, he was knowledgeable she had to give him that and she found that despite her reservations she did pay attention to what he said in regards to certain injuries. Her mind filing away the information to use should she need too - she also found a good medium for false pleasantries and she prayed to  _ Taha Aki and any freaking god _ that was out there, that he didn’t note that she didn’t truly believe what she was saying.

She saw Daryl a few times and the two idly noted that yeah, the whole hospital knew they were not only the newbies both working there but also in town and that everyone knew they were engaged. One of the other nurses - the one Noelle had dubbed ‘ _ Miss Gossip _ ’ had noticed Daryl idly playing with her engagement ring from where it hung on a chain around her neck. Within an hour, everyone was congratulating her and she found their words to be suffocating. It wasn’t their place to comment, but she guessed with Daryl being a Forks’ boy through and through - it was just something they did. So she bit her tongue and simply smiled towards them. Daryl on the other hand found it amusing and couldn’t help but smirk in her direction everytime, which earned him more than one scowl from her.  _ All in good nature though _ .

Yet despite how she was annoyed with everyone treating her like the newest big thing, and her weird obsession and hatred of her boss. Noelle found she actually enjoyed the atmosphere of the ER, they were a good group of people and all clearly loved their job. And she just hoped that she could benefit them, that she could provide something that meant they still gave out the best care they could. Even if a part of her was missing the hustle and bustle that came from working in a much larger ER.

_ She had to remember she was a small town girl at heart. _

❛ Nurse Uley. Are you busy **_?_** ❜ The voice to her side has her eyes cutting over for a second before returning to her task.

❛ No, just finishing up some paperwork. What do you need Doc **_?_** ❜ False pleasantries were getting easier the longer the day went on.

❛ I need your assistance with a patient. It’s safe to say I am not the most liked Doctor in this case – ❜ 

❛ Wait. You’re not liked  **_?_ ** ❜

_ Yep that was a tease - an open and blatant tease _ .

❛ No. Myself and this patient, well her family. Have a long standing issue that causes certain problems – ❜ 

That was another thing she noted, Dr. Cullen was one cryptic son of a bitch when he wanted to be. From the moment he’d found out she was originally from La Push and heard her surname to this sentence, she could easily identify that at certain times he didn’t hand over all the information. Instead he released honey smooth words which skirted right around the truth and landed somewhere between vague and an outright lie, with a small dash of truth on top.

❛ Huh. Come on Doc, let’s get to it – ❜ 

She follows behind Dr. Cullen with apprehension ; her steps cautious as she wonders who the hell it could be that doesn’t like him, as she realised that was probably a rarity. She’d seen the way the patients reacted to him, how the other people surrounding the hospital seemed to be in awe of him - all but her and whoever these new people were it seemed. She can easily note as Cullen’s steps slow and she drags in a deep breath as she stands a few steps behind him - her frame completely dwarfed by his, her hazel eyes assessing those in the small room she’d been led too. To which three things become blatantly clear to her.

_ One _ \- the temperature in the room had climbed at least 100 degrees, a light sweat breaking out on the back of her neck and she can already feel the cotton of her scrubs cling to her skin, the stray tendrils of hair that escaped her ponytail starting to curl against her skin.  _ Two _ \- she already knew exactly who was in that room. Even without seeing their faces Noelle is able to distinguish the golden skin and jet black hair that signalled that they were from the reservation - they were her people.  _ Three _ \- this day had just become far more complicated than she initially thought that morning and every one of her instincts was telling her to get the hell out of that room and go hide somewhere no one can see her.

Her heart feels like it’s slamming against her ribs as she reminds herself to breathe. Fighting down every one of her urges to turn and walk out of the room and instead she takes the file Dr. Cullen hands her and distracts herself by reading through the observation of the first doctor who admitted her. At first she doesn’t take note of the name of the patient, instead focusing on the information that she really needed to know to do her job - _ head trauma due to accident, consequential scans clear -  _ **_recommended actions_ ** _ : painkillers and stitches.  _ So with that knowledge she tunes back into what Dr. Cullen is saying to the patient and she has to at least agree a little that he was a thorough doctor. Didn’t mean she disliked him any less.

❛ You’re going to need stitches and to refrain from doing extraneous activity for at least two days to keep dizziness at a minimum. So i shall go write the script for your painkillers and leave you in the care of Nurse Uley as she does your stitches. As her hands are far warmer and skilled than mine – ❜

_ Wow Doc - just be a suck up to those that hate you _ , she thinks dryly but she doesn’t escape how the tension in the room seemed to climb even higher as Dr. Cullen smoothly dropped her name into the conversation. Her eyes planted firmly on the patient file as every other gaze in the room turned towards her. It was unnerving, as though all of them wanted to tear her apart with just one look and it really wasn’t helping the urge to run as fast as she could out of that room and Forks as a whole. So instead she focuses on getting what she needs to stitch up the woman, her frame moving around the room with a confidence that is foreign but welcome as she gets what she needs.

As Dr. Cullen leaves, she allows herself to breathe, to finally relieve the tension at being around the supermodel doctor who could do no wrong but soon she feels the heated gazes on her back and it brings a whole other tension that has her skin itching. Turning her head slightly she looks towards the bed, to finally gauge her patient and she gasps softly as her hazel eyes meet the rich and soft gaze of Sue Clearwater. Even after four years the woman hadn’t changed and she still exuded a softness that was almost painful in it’s familiarity.

❛ Hello Noelle **_._** ❜ 

As the rich voice washes over her Noelle can’t help the shaky smile that lifts the corner of her lips before she turns away. Her heart rate increases as her chest heaves from the breaths she forces into her lungs. She didn’t have a problem with Sue - she never did. The woman always treated Noelle like one of the community despite how blatantly obvious it was that she was half pale-face. And if Noelle was truthful with herself it was Sue’s nursing expertise that had first peaked Noelle’s interest in the career. And considering she was stood here now, a  _ fully trained ER nurse _ \- it was safe to say it never went away. So no she didn’t have a problem with Sue ; it was just the way her past had all but slapped her in the face.

She idly notes her hands are shaking as she puts on her gloves and takes a moment to steady herself before turning with the tray and walking towards the bed. As she does she looks through her lashes at the people in the room, the figments of her past. She can’t help the amused snort as she easily identifies the similarities - tall, muscular, short black hair.  _ Just like Sam and Paul _ . That thought alone sends a jolt of ice straight through her heart and also straightens her spine as she stares them all in the eyes, the dark pools of each of them swirling with different emotions. All aimed at her.

So these were the other members of her brothers gang - lovely.  _ More people to avoid _ . She takes stock of them all and she isn’t concerned that she can’t truly recognise half of them, it had been four years and they seemed to have gone through the same growth spurt that Sam and Paul had - the one that took them from boys to men. She does however recognise Jared Cameron and her nod towards him is tight and even she knows her eyes now blaze with hatred. A fact made certain by the small flinch that spreads over his body as he meets her gaze.

She turns back to Sue without saying a word and despite her shaky hands she sets out to numb and stitch up the wound crowning Sue’s forehead. Questions were burning on the end of her tongue but Noelle had no right to ask them - even if she was the nurse tending to the wound. As she knew those questions would lead to other questions and she really wasn’t in the mood for the spanish inquisition. She also knew that within an hour of leaving here - the group would tell Sam and her big brother would know she was home. 

_ Yeah she really wished this day had turned out different _ .

Finishing up the stitches she sets about cleaning up her workstation - she hadn’t uttered a single word and she wasn’t sure if she could. Her tongue felt like lead inside the confines of her mouth and the dryness of her throat constricted the ability to form syllables and translate them into words. Thus she said nothing and it also kept the scathing words she knew she’d utter trapped inside her mind where she was slowly bitching them all out, from Jared to the strangers, all the way to her brother. And yeah those thoughts were better left unvoiced.

❛ Noelle – ❜

She stops halfway out the door, her eyes cutting to the heated hand now curled around her elbow before she follows the train of golden skin up towards Jared’s face. He flinches again as Noelle’s gaze meets his own and it takes everything to stop her lips curling upwards in a sneer. His hand was burning her, not just because it felt like he was lost in a fever - but because it was unwelcome. She didn’t want him anywhere near her, and definitely not taking over her personal space like he was right now. Her attention is drawn as his gaze drifts down to her necklace, the one currently holding her engagement ring and even she isn’t blind to notice the flare of disapproval that flashes across his features.

❛ Don’t Jared. _I’ve done my job_ , Sue can leave in about an hour and you can run along to my brother like the good little puppy you are and inform him that his bastard sister is back in town. You might want to inform Paul too - wouldn’t want to inconvenience him with the knowledge that his paleface ex is back in town **_!_** ❜ 

She spits the words with more venom than she knew she felt as she shakes off his touch and walks out, disposing of the bloody gauze, her gloves and needles along the way. Noelle can feel the eyes of Dr. Cullen on her, the hairs rising at the back of her neck enough indication that the doctor was aware something had happened in that room. Something that had now caused Noelle’s face to be cast in stone - the permanent feature one of anger. Anger at the situation - anger at Jared and the balls he had to even attempt to talk to her. But more than that her anger was burning because of the look he had thrown her engagement ring - as though it was the most offending piece of jewellery he had ever seen.  _ He had no fucking right _ .

A swift shake of her head has her thoughts clearing and for the next hour she busies herself by following Dr. Cullen and getting situated with her patients. As much as he put her on edge, right now he was the safer of two evils. He didn’t pry and nor was he connected to her past. So despite the discomfort she felt whenever she had to stand close to him, it beat out the sheer need she had to avoid the La Push residents. The better of two evils - as one would say.

And all she hoped was that she had a few days before she had to face her true evil - her brother. As just seeing Jared and Sue had all but drained her of her energy and she didn’t have an issue with them. So to see Sam, to see one of those that hurt her, she knew she wouldn’t have the energy. She’d once again become the broken girl who ran to Boston. Or there was also the option that she’d completely lose her temper and punch him in the face. If Taha Aki and the other spirits were in her corner -  _ she was hoping for the latter _ .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Author's Note** : Put this down here as i didn’t want to give anything away. So how did i do with Noelle seeing some of the pack ?? did i do her response in the way you thought i would ??. How about the fact that Noelle isn’t charmed by Carlisle and just feels weird around him ??. Review and let me know your thoughts - please i’m dying to know.  
> Also comment and tell me who’s pov you want the next chap in - _Jared, Paul, Sam or continue in Noelle’s for a few more chaps. **Or maybe Sue**_ \- have her be the one to tell Sam and Paul that Noelle is home.


	4. We all have ghosts in our past.

**\- Forks, Washington -**

**\- Sue -**

When you live in a world where supernatural creatures weren’t just figments in a book but instead your children, you’re family, you’re neighbours - it often meant that accidents were prone to happen. Instances that escaped even those with supernatural abilities and reminded everyone that beneath all the supernatural, beneath all the magic ; there was still a human aspect. Brady and Colin were two prime examples of how a human aspect remained under the supernatural - nothing more than children when they were chosen to answer their supernatural calling. And yet enough childish innocence remained that they tended to act before they thought it all through.  _ That also included running through doors without checking if someone was on the other side _ .

For Sue Clearwater, she was nothing more than the unfortunate collateral damage of two overgrown wolves losing themselves to such a childish innocence. Their actions far rougher than intended and when the door had come barrelling towards her - there was nothing she could do to prevent the damage. Despite the pain that shot through her head and the obvious trails of blood that were now coating the right side of her face, she wasn’t so blind that she didn’t notice the guilt that seemed to all but leech from the two boys once they’d noticed what they’d done.

And well, they all knew that once Sam found out that Colin and Brady had injured not only a council member but a mother of two of the wolves - then both boys would be suffering under a punishment that no wolf would like to endure. It was one of the reasons Sue took them with her when she’d calmly announced she needed to go to Forks Hospital - the maternal side of the council member wanting to prolong the inevitable punishment in hopes of appeasing the angered alpha. Jared and Embry were just added bonuses that Sue found she couldn’t completely argue with - especially not when they noticed that Carlisle Cullen was the attending doctor on duty.

_ Then Jared and Embry became far more than added bonuses _ .

_ Sue Clearwater was not a woman who shied away from her problems  _ ; her strength coming from both her blood and loyal heritage but also from the pain of being a woman who had lost her husband and raised two supernaturally blessed children. Yet despite the tenuous peace that existed between the ‘cold ones’ and the wolves of La Push, she wasn’t comfortable enough to be in the vampire's presence permanently or without a buffer. One that usually wore the form of her daughter Leah and sometimes Charlie and Billy Black if the need arose. Right now Sue was surrounded by  _ Jared, Embry, Colin and Brady _ \- the younger two looking guilty despite how much Sue had said otherwise. She shoots them a soft smile as she holds the gauze against the cut on her head, the throbbing pain becoming almost familiar in it’s aching.

Yet despite the buffer of the wolves, Sue can’t help the small flinch that wraps around her frame as Carlisle draws closer, his drastic cold temperature is made all the more apparent by the warm bodies surrounding her but she doesn’t allow it to show on her face. Instead she keeps her face passive as she meets the golden eyes of the Doctor and listens as he repeats the observation of the previous doctor. She believed him as she knew it was not in Carlisle’s best interest to lie to the mother of two wolves - especially not when those two wolves are part of the reason he was still alive.

❛ You’re going to need stitches and to refrain from doing extraneous activity for at least two days to keep dizziness at a minimum. So i shall go write the script for your painkillers and leave you in the care of Nurse Uley as she does your stitches. As her hands are far warmer and skilled than mine – ❜ 

His voice was smooth, like silk but it’s not the tone she was alerted too. Instead it was the name that pools between them and Sue as well as the wolves all snapping their heads to the female stood in the doorway, her attention focused solely on the file in her hand. Even from her vantage point, and the blurriness that was curling in her eyes from the head wound, Sue could see just who it was and was wondering how she missed it initially. Dark eyes follow Noelle as she moves around the room, her frame oozing both confidence and nerves and Sue can’t help the small proud smile that lifts the corner of her lips.

She can remember many summers where Noelle helped out at the tribal hospital, her hazel eyes shining with a sheer need to learn. It burned within her and Sue had always thought that one day Noelle would be a nurse so seeing her stood here as a ER nurse, she couldn’t help but the pride that burned in her veins. But it was more than that, Sue was glad to see that what happened when Noelle was eighteen - hadn’t taken away her happiness. If anything it seemed to have guided her forward. 

❛ Hello Noelle **_._** ❜ 

Sue returns Noelle’s shaky smile as she sees the recognition bloom in the young girls eyes - and even though she doesn’t reply. Sue doesn’t push her. She knew it must be hard, to see the ghosts of your past so clear in the elder Quileute’s face. The last time Noelle had seen any of them being the day she graduated high school and yet here they were, all in a room watching her as though she was some fancy new toy they were trying to figure out. Which she guessed for Colin and Brady -  _ she was _ . Neither of them truly knew Noelle - whereas Jared was friends with Sam and Embry was a year under her in school.

Sue couldn’t help but idly wonder if Noelle could feel the tension burning off the four wolves currently staring at her, all of them even the youngest two, recognizing Noelle for what she was -  _ she was pack _ . Not only because she was Sam’s younger sister but also because she was Paul’s imprint. Leah herself had told Sue that on more than one occasion both Sam and Paul had allowed their thoughts to drift towards the beauty beside her - both of them wondering what she was doing with her life. Yet neither of them could have prepared themselves for this, after all no one in La Push ever expected Noelle to return. She was headstrong, independent and strong willed - all of that shaping their thoughts that she would never return. And yet here she stood, even more beautiful than the day she left. She had to commend Noelle on her strength - the way she looked each wolf in the eyes and didn’t shy away in intimidation even though all of them dwarfed her small size. Even Sue could note the hatred and it didn’t take a genius to realise that Noelle had summarised that the others were with Sam -  _ even without Jared in the room _ .

Sue stiffens as Noelle starts to clean and stitch the wound and she takes the silence the young woman offers to get a good look at her. Noelle had always favoured her pale face mother but there were features that showed she was native too. From her strong jaw and angular cheekbones to the intensity that shone in her eyes - an intensity that she shared with her brother Sam. Dark eyes catch on the ring around Noelle’s neck and Sue isn’t so blind that she doesn’t know what it is -  _ an engagement ring _ . The item alone causes the beginnings of a headache to bloom in the back of Sue’s mind. She didn’t blame Noelle for moving on with her life, she commended her for it - after all it had been six long years and everyone who could tie her to La Push had  **_let her go_ ** . But Sue also knew - neither Paul or Sam were going to be happy that Noelle was getting married.  _ Married to someone who wasn’t pack _ .

Sue meets Jared’s eyes at that moment, and she can see pain swirling in the wolf’s eyes as he looks at the girl he considered to be his younger sister. His pack sister and she knew, without a doubt, Jared would do anything to bring Noelle home. Even if that meant she came kicking and screaming - it was who Jared was. He was loyal to his brothers, his family and Noelle was a part of that, even if she didn’t know. And as Noelle is leaving and Jared moves, Sue again isn’t surprised.

❛ Don’t Jared. _I’ve done my job_ , Sue can leave in about an hour and you can run along to my brother like the good little puppy you are and inform him that his bastard sister is back in town. You might want to inform Paul too - wouldn’t want to inconvenience him with the knowledge that his paleface ex is back in town **_!_** ❜ 

Even Sue cringes as Noelle’s words wash over Jared and the other wolves - the hatred and pain reflected in her words reverberating inside of all of them and Sue gasps softly. Tears start to gather in the corner of her eyes as she watches Noelle walk away, dark eyes shifting to look at Jared who seemed to be barely containing himself. Either from anger or pain - Sue wasn’t too sure. Most knew of what Paul said to Noelle the day before she left - and they all knew how Sam had kept the secret from Noelle of the wolves - but none of them could have predicted how much pain that had caused. Till it was staring them in the face, shining in the hazel eyes of the one who was hurt the most.

An hour later when she’s able to be released she heads in the direction of Noelle, a glance sent over her shoulder warning the wolves to remain far away. No this was a conversation she needed to have without the wolves - though Sue knew they would be listening, always listening. Her hand settles on Noelle’s elbow and she frowns softly as she notes the young woman jumps at the contact but she knows better than to comment, instead she offers Noelle one more soft smile. A smile showing that she didn’t blame her for running.

❛ I just wanted to thank you for stitching me up. And also congratulations on your engagement **_._** ❜ No one could say that Sue wasn’t sneaky - she had raised Leah and Seth after all.

❛ You’re welcome and thanks. I ..  __ ❜ 

❛ You don’t need to explain it to me dear. You can’t help who you fall in love with **_._** ❜ She grabs Noelle’s hand squeezing gently and she watches as a myriad of emotions swirl in Noelle’s hazel eyes and yet her voice never utters any of them. She really was far more like her brother than she thought - both shouldering their own pain as to not burden others.

❛ Thanks Mrs. Clearwater – ❜ 

❛ May I ... may I ask when the wedding is **_?_** ❜ It takes Sue a moment to realise how soft she asked the question - as though she was scared of the answer. And if she was honest. She was. But not for herself ; more for the repercussions it would have on the pack.

❛ It’s in five months – ❜ 

At first Sue isn’t sure she heard Noelle correctly but hearing a soft groan coming from the direction she’d left the boys she knew she had indeed heard her right. Five months. A date so close and it had a whirl of questions bubbling on the end of Sue’s tongue but she also knew it wasn’t her place. Noelle was an imprint - meaning she was to be protected and kept safe. And if that meant that Sue wasn’t going to tell her brother - and Paul about the engagement, to make sure that Noelle stayed happy.  _ Then it’s what she’d do _ .

❛ Well. Congratulations again and i hope you have an amazing day – ❜ 

She hugs the girl to her and with another soft utterance of congratulations she walks back over to Jared and allows the wolves to lead her from the hospital and into the car. For the hour ride it takes from Forks to La Push, Sue’s mind whirls a mile a minute as to how they were going to contain this news - for Sue knew Jared wouldn’t be able to hide it from the pack mind. Neither could the other three, and if the wedding was in five months - the news of such would start to trickle into the reservation given that Noelle was a part of it. Forks was notorious for gossip.

As Jared guides the truck into the driveway of Sam and Emily’s she was still no closer to figuring out the answer to her problems. As much as Sue wished they could hide at least the engagement she knew that alone would do more damage than the fact Noelle was back and hadn’t sought any of them out - that could be excused with the notion that the pack didn’t exactly reach out to her in the six years she was missing. But the engagement - that was a knife to the chest.  _ Even if Sam and Paul did let Noelle go _ .

Warm hands grasp Sue as she climbs from the truck and she smiles softly at Seth as he guides her towards the house - questions being fired in rapid speed as her beautiful boy checks she is okay. Looking over the wolves she can see Sam’s glower at something over her shoulder and she knew the two young wolves were now definitely in the dog house -  _ or looking at double patrols _ . Paul was sitting on the stairs just behind Sam and Sue watched him for a moment. There were no obvious changes -  _ no flashing neon sign _ showing he was aware his imprint was back in town.

❛ Are you okay Sue  **_?_ ** ❜ Sam asks and Sue nods softly to ease the alpha.

As she looks at him, she smiles in sadness once again seeing the similarities between the Uley siblings. Both caring - both intense and both shouldering the weight of responsibility. Sam for the pack and tribe - Noelle for every patient that walked through the ER doors. No one could have predicted that the two of them would become so alike - when all they shared was a father. But given how close the two were in their childhood ; it clearly showed that they influenced each other.

❛ Dr. Leech was on his best behaviour. He didn’t sew Sue up, he had the new nurse do it. ❜ 

A scowl is sent in Jared’s direction, Sue wishing the wolf would have avoided this conversation a little longer. At least until she had a plan as to how she was supposed to word everything. As Sam’s eyes cut towards her - the elder knew that time was not on her side. He wanted answers - and it was up to her to give them.

❛  _ Don’t worry she’s not a threat - she’s pack _ . ❜ 

Her words carry an intense amount of weight and as the eyes of every wolf snap in her direction - Sue idly wonders if she could have said those words kinder. Yet she knew it was better to rip off the band aid and let the wound fester, than leave it to slowly bleed. And that was what this was - Noelle leaving was a wound that the tribe and two wolves carried with them.

❛ The nurse - it was your sister. ❜ Sue looks Sam dead in the eye as she delivers the news, watching as a maelstrom starts to swirl inside of him. His hands clench at his side as the weight of six words settle on his shoulders.  ❛  _ She’s home _ . ❜ 

The last statement is like a knife to Sam's heart as he gasps, yet Sue’s attention is drawn to the wolf behind him. Paul’s body grew rigid as it settled on him that his imprint was so close, so close but so far away at the same time. His eyes boring into Sue and she gasps from the intensity - his pain clear as day for anyone to read. In that moment Sue felt for him - but she also felt for Noelle. She was abandoned by Paul, she was hurt by him and now the two were wearing the consequences of those choices. Noelle had a life - and Paul was immune to stop it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **A / N** : **_Reviews are love_** \- please let me know if i did Sue justice or i just destroyed this chapter. Pretty please?!?!.
> 
> Also - i have three different POV’s written for this chapter alone - Sam, Paul and Jared's. So if you would like to see them anyway, let me know and i might start doing an outtake one shot thing, as i also have another missing chapter….. _of the morning Noelle actually left._


	5. the pain inside.

**\- Forks, Washington -**

**\- Noelle -**

If someone had asked Noelle if she thought her first day of work would go the way that it had - she’d have laughed in your face and said you were crazy but now after having lived through it. She wished someone had warned her so that she could call in some miracle illness and have not turned up. Because seeing people so close to her once upon a time had been too much. Seeing Jared who had been her brother's friend, seeing Sue who had basically taught Noelle how to be a nurse - it was all too close to home.

After they’d left she’d spent forever obsessing over them and the only thing she’d gotten from it was that she finally recognized one of the other males in the room.  _ Embry Call _ . He’d been in the year below Noelle and always hung out with Quil Ateara and Jacob Black. She didn’t know him per se but she had been witness to one of his many shy moments when he’d asked her for a favour if the two were in the library at the same time. It seemed if Noelle even spoke he blushed - something she noted he did around all females.

It broke her heart to know that he’d been pulled into the mess that was her brother and she found herself torn - praying Quil and Jacob hadn’t followed but the other half, the larger part of her mind told her that it was inevitable. If Sam had managed to get Embry into whatever the hell was going on then the other two boys would have followed. Even Noelle who didn’t know the three well knew -  _ they were stuck to each other's hips _ . It was cute in a way, but also further proof of the insanity that was going on down at the reservation.

And the more she thought about it, the more she wanted bloody answers. But thinking on it was dangerous and more than once she had to reprimand herself to stop. To stop dredging up the painful memories, to let go of the new obsession that had taken over in the span of a day.  _ It wasn’t healthy _ .

As much as Cullen freaked her out - she had to admit that she respected the fact he seemed to note that asking what happened with her fellow tribe members was not something she wanted to talk about. And instead he hadn't once uttered a word in regards to it. Even if she could see questions burning inside of his topaz eyes - he kept them to himself and for that Noelle could find a small shred of her respecting him for it. It was only small and it wouldn’t last long as something told her he’d do something else that creeped her out and she’d go back to wishing he wasn’t her boss and she could somehow stab his pretty little eyes out.

Refraining from doing that she set about working and using it as a distraction and the more settled she became the more she was able to start drifting away from Cullen and branching out to a few patients on her own - no longer wanting to be babysat as just something in his eyes told her that whatever was pissing her off about La Push - he knew what it was. He knew the dirty little secret that had some of the members standing at well over six foot and looking like they bench pressed small houses for a living.

_ And wasn’t that just fucking great _ .

The doctor knew but the sister of one of them - didn’t. She hadn’t been graced with the know how because her brother decided she was unimportant to know. Had shut the door and basically told Noelle that she was nothing to him anymore - his life revolving around the boys he seemed to collect and Emily Young. Hell Sam and his incessant secret keeping had stopped Noelle from getting to know Emily. So instead she was stuck with the impression of the woman that came courtesy of Leah and it wasn’t hard to notice that hers was tainted.

All Noelle wanted was to get to know the woman her brother was now dating - to reach out and olive branch in the potential of repairing the damaged relationship now plaguing the Uley siblings but even that had been burnt in her hand. And after that she gave up trying - even when she left for Boston her brother was still a hole inside of her chest, burning right alongside the pain of Paul. Many nights she’d cried herself to sleep before she’d simply let them go - letting the shards of broken memories flutter away in the wind like dust.

After that she’d concentrated more on making friends, had allowed Daryl to become her friend and found that whilst she still hurt internally for two people she wanted. She was becoming stronger, she was finding reasons to live. She also took up kickboxing as a self defense and a way to get rid of the anger that coiled inside of her like a viper waiting to strike. The motions of hitting and kicking either a bag or a person helped to form the muscle that coiled around her body even now - but gave her something else to think on. The burn of exertion replacing the burning brought on by memories.

She should see if a class was nearby -  _ she missed it _ . Plus she figured the motions of once more working on not just a work out but her self defense would help to remind her that she wasn’t the weak girl that left La Push - she had been built from the ashes into something stronger. Yes she still had her moments where she was so emotional she wondered if she was going to drown - but now they were few and far between. She could stand up to the people who hurt her, she could face them and not back down.

_ At least she hoped so _ .

Then her graduation had rolled around - she’d included an invitation for Sam and Emily with her mothers and thus not seeing her big brother as she graduated and started her dream had been the last knife in her chest and what she considered the last bridge between them burning to the ground.  _ Now all they shared was a father and distant memories _ . Something she’d never thought possible. 

And now she was so close to her family all she had to do was get in her car and drive over there - and the prospect scared her. It outright scared her to go up and tell her brother that she was home and was getting married. She had lied to Daryl and said she didn’t have any siblings, as trying to explain the situation to someone else just seemed wrong and way too personal. And thus she lied to him, one of the few lies she’d ever told but the one she knew. The one she knew would blow up in her face when the truth was revealed.

Another reason she was hoping to avoid her family. _ Forever _ .

She walks out the hospital with a small sigh - her mind mentally running over plans for the few hours she had remaining of her day before she skulked off to bed and repeated her day come morning. Daryl had been called into an emergency surgery meaning it would be a few hours before her fiancee was home and Noelle knew by that point she’d already be asleep. Her whole body felt tired and the arrival of the La Push residents earlier had only worked to drain her of her last remaining dregs of energy.

Finally her weird ass day was over and she walked across the parking lot fishing inside of her bag for her keys before raising her head as she sensed someone's eyes on her - tiredness stopping her from noticing almost immediately but the one thing she does notice is they were shirtless. The weather was fucking freezing and here some lunatic was standing shirtless and wearing cut-offs as though it was 100 degrees. Her mind shakes as she takes note of the golden skin and dark hair.  _ Which meant it could only be a handful of people _ .

“ Samuel w– ” she quips as she now registers just who the large male standing next to her car was - her mouth unable to finish forming a sentence. 

Her movements come to a halt in front of him, the distance one that someone could park a car in but it makes Noelle feel assured - at least a little bit. Her eyes drinking in his large hulking frame - he seemed almost taller than the last time Noelle had seen him. Muscle was stretched and corded all over his frame, power burning into every dip and curve. His eyes were just like Noelle remembered, dark bottomless pits that seemed to be hiding nothing but secrets. She had once seen nothing but sibling love burning in those deep pits but now she looked inside of them and saw nothing but a stranger. For the first time since she left - she couldn’t help but wonder where her brother went.

She knew he was standing before her, alive and healthy and her brother, she wanted to believe it with everything that burned deep inside of her but she wasn’t sure if she truly could. Gone was the softness that made her brother who he was, the boy who used to climb into bed with Noelle to hold her as she fought off any nightmares brought on by the horror movies he made her watch. Gone was the boy who had argued with her for a full day over the fact that she was dating Paul.

_ Deep down, she just wanted her brother _ . 

The brother from before.

“ ‘Elle … you ... you look good – ” 

His hand comes up to rub against his face and it’s with shocking clarity that she can see how tired he is. The emotion all but oozing out of his skin and washing over Noelle. And she has to ignore the urge inside of her to look after him - the nurse and little sister sides of her were at war. She wasn’t sure which one would win if she was to truly let them loose. Or if she could handle the damage that came from such an action. Even now the wounds left by Sam’s abandonment were festering like an infection under her skin - she’d never gotten her closure and this she’d never healed.

Instead she took the pain of his abandonment, took the pain of Paul’s break up and built herself back up from the ashes. She was no longer the little girl who needed a brother to protect her, a man to be her knight in shining armor - she was stronger. She was a fighter. And it’s what she holds onto as she looks her brother dead in the eye - she refused to be intimidated by him. Even if he completely dwarfed her small frame, even if he could probably crush her with one hand.  _ She wouldn’t show him any weakness _ .

“ What do you want Sam  **_?_ ** ” 

Her patience was wearing thin, the cord that was barely keeping it contained was threatening to fray at the edges.

“ Am i not allowed to see my baby sister  **_?_ ** ” 

“ Wait. You mean  _ the baby sister _ that you basically pushed out of your life and never bothered to see was okay after she nearly lost her damn mind when you went missing. You mean  _ the baby sister _ that you ignored for weeks on end and fucking lied too without a care in the world – ” 

She could see the damage her cutting words were inflicting upon him. Pain flaring over his face and coloring his dark eyes but she wasn’t done. She’d hidden this for years - not even Daryl had managed to heal the pain that swirled inside of her.

“ The baby sister who cried herself to sleep for a full year mourning the loss of her best friend, her big brother and not once did he reach out to her. _ Even when their mother had her number _ . Oh and the lovely icing on the cake, the baby sister who didn’t even warrant her big brother's appearance at her graduation from medical school. Even when he had been invited - Emily too  **_!_ ** ” She was crying as her anger and pain overwhelmed her. She was somewhat glad her voice stayed level and didn’t garner unwanted attention.  “ You mean that baby sister  **_?_ ** ” 

Noelle wipes furiously at her eyes to rid herself of the offending tears - she didn’t want Sam to see any weakness and yet here she was crying in her anger. Crying at all that she had revealed. Shaking her head she goes to move past him, stopping as once again a warm hand encircles her elbow. Her eyes cutting to Sam’s with a lethal edge to them that would have had her brother cowering in fear if he was a normal man. But even Noelle wasn’t blind to know her brother wasn’t normal.

“ ‘Elle please just listen to me – ” 

_ He was pleading and Noelle was honestly about to die. Right there in the Forks hospital parking lot - she was going to die _ .

“ Leave me alone Sam. We are no longer family. You turned your back on me and this is me doing the same to you  **_!_ ** ” she mutters with no emotion in her voice  “ If you somehow remember what it is to be a big brother. Then we can talk. Maybe – ” 

Wrenching her arm free of his grasp she finishes moving to her car and climbing in the driver's seat without looking at him. Her eyes remain hardened as she works on pulling out of the hospital parking lot and she resolves to stop herself glancing in the mirror to see his retreating form. She didn’t want to see what damage her words had done as she knew she’d instantly regret speaking them if she did.

They were drastic and not the ones she wanted to speak - she didn’t want to shut him out completely. She just wanted him to know how she had hurt when he’d done it to her, was it petty, probably. But she didn’t know how else to say that his abandonment and shutting her out had hurt her. She had gone from having someone always in her corner - to having no one, seemingly overnight.

But despite all that pain - she wanted her big brother back. And if by some miracle he appeared once more than she’d work towards repairing the bridges that had been burnt by both of them. Until then she couldn’t see him - it would only hurt more. It would have the wounds festering to the point she’s sure they’d kill her.

“ I love you big brother – ” She whispers to the wind as she drives towards her house.

As she pulls into the driveway and looks over at the dark house - she can’t help the way her skin seemed to prickle with awareness. A feeling that only intensifies as she climbs out of the car and she turns in a slow circle, hazel eyes looking around as if to find who was looking at her. As she knew it was eyes, some innate thing inside her told her that right now she was being watched. Her stance tightens as she wonders if she’s about to be attacked - and idly wonders if she could remember her kickboxing moves long enough to get in the house and to safety should someone decide to attack.

_ God now she was becoming paranoid _ .

Shaking her head as she allows her eyes to close as she works to get her breathing under control - focusing on only dragging in and exhaling air. Yet despite the fact she was now calming down, it did nothing to expel the feeling that someone was watching her, completely enthralled by every move she made. Something that only intensified as she idly brought her hand up to rub against her chest - as though she could rub away the feelings seeing Sam had brought up. To expel them from her heart permanently.

Shivering under the feeling that was still coating her skin she heads inside the house - making sure to lock all windows and doors as she works on getting something to eat. Her actions are robotic as she mindlessly runs her mind over her day - from meeting Dr. Cullen, all the way to see Sam again. Her interactions with Sue weren’t so hard to decipher. She knew the elder woman was asking out of good faith as well as potentially preparing herself for whatever repercussions came from any decision made. It was how Sue had always been. She thought of the tribe and its people and tried her hardest to look after them all.  _ Including Noelle _ .

As she idly washes the dishes from her small dinner - she can’t stop the way her eyes seem to focus on the trees to the back of the house. As though something was idly pulling her in that direction and she was too weak to stop it. She couldn’t see anything, the blanket of darkness offered by the tree line was too thick for her to see anything. And yet she carried on staring, her hands moving idly as she simply stood there staring.  _ At nothing _ .

_ Enough Uley, grow the fuck up _ . She curses at herself as she tears her eyes away and finally moves up the stairs and towards the bathroom, mentally beating herself the whole way up the stairs. She was letting everything get to her, to undo the barriers and protection she’d put in place. And it had to end, she couldn’t keep doing this to herself. As now it was making her paranoid, making her think that someone was watching her and also having her stare at fucing nothing for god knows how long.  _ No it ends now _ .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **A / N : _Reviews are love_** \- please let me know what you think of this chapter. Also i am trying my hardest to show that Noelle is affected by the imprint, she feels it, just has no idea what it is. So shes not blind folks, not completely. So what do you think, was Noelle right to treat Sam that way, was she just being a bitch. Let me know. Please!!


	6. Through a wolf's eyes.

**\- La Push, Washington -**

**\- Paul -**

If there was one wolf on the La Push reservation that everyone tried to actively avoid - _it was Paul Lahote_.

It wasn't that there was a problem with him, it was that there wasn't just a singular problem with him. There were many problems all wrapped up inside a six foot six shapeshifter that had a hair trigger temper and a penchant for violence. Everyone who was within his presence for more than five seconds tended to feel as though pure adrenaline had been injected through their veins and wanted to fight the first thing that came into their line of vision. _He was a predator in its most animalistic form_.

When Paul had still been human, before vampires triggered the magic that resided in his veins - he had been one of the few people who could merge fighting and fucking together and create a dance from it. Spinning the two variations in a way that often led people to wonder which side of Paul they were getting, and running for the hills when they got the worst side of him. He hadn't been scared to throw a fist, watching in satisfaction and blood spilled from his actions.

Only one person had ever worked their way under the many walls that Paul constructed around himself - _Noelle Uley_. The two having a friendship that spanned back to when they were children. They weren't friends per se but Noelle was one of the few people Paul was actively kind too. And even more so when he took to sleeping with any girl that would look his way - he left Noelle alone. That was until he didn't. Everyone had initially thought that Paul was after Noelle to add another notch to his bedpost and none of them hid their shock when the two started dating, Noelle managing the one thing no one else had - _she tamed the beast_.

_Yes he still fought_ \- and left many broken bodies in his wake. _But she was his girl_.

And then the curse of his bloodline had come and called him forth as a protector. Where the two males before him, Sam and Jared, had hated the wolf that now lived inside of them. Paul welcomed it, welcomed the unbridled power that came from having a beast that lived under his skin. Sure his temper became a walking livewire that meant he lost it far quicker than he had in the past but he'd figure out that control, relish in the power that was now his to control. And yeah it was blatantly obvious that the other two wolves didn't know how to handle him. He was an angry human - _he was a volatile wolf_.

Paul wasn't much help either - he didn't offer any respite to his anger and instead allowed the others to fear him. It kept them the fuck away from him. But his anger also kept him away from his girl, god all he wanted was to see Noelle but he knew he couldn't. She wouldn't forgive him for joining her brother's little 'gang' but he was hoping that he could persuade her that he was different. _That he wasn't leaving her_. But of course - _oh holy Sam wouldn't let him near Noelle_. Wanted Paul to keep the secret from the one girl they both cared about. Paul didn't understand it and worked to fight against the alpha order the bastard had placed on him. Sam kept telling the council that Paul was still in wolf form, when in reality he had fought off the wolf skin in two weeks - the last week was him fighting against Sam and the damn alpha order.

The elders believed now - _thanks to him_ \- that when a wolf went through the change - everything they were before was intensified. Sam was caring ; perfect fit to be an alpha. Jared was calm and soothing ; hence he made a good beta. But Paul - Paul was just pure anger and in wolf form he was dangerous. Far more lethal than the other two wolves who he shared a mind with. It also became blatantly obvious after three days that Paul's mind was far more concealed than the others. If he didn't want to share something he didn't, his mind often represented static to the two other wolves - oh he could communicate but they couldn't see in if he chose not to let them. And he didn't, he enjoyed the peace that came from having his mind to himself. To still have the smallest shred of control over something.

_Even something that simple_.

Three weeks since he last saw his girl, he finally gets permission to go see her and despite everything that he was feeling. Every urge to pull her into his arms and just exist within her. He had one thing in mind - he was now forever bound to La Push, so was her brother. But Noelle, she had a life ahead of her. She had the potential to get the fuck out of town and fucking live. And Paul as much as he was a possessive bastard and didn't want to let her go. He wanted her to get every fucking thing she wanted - _even if it meant she got it without him_. Yeah he may be a bastard, he was a wolf - but he wasn't fucking heartless. Not when it came to her.

Standing on her porch, he concentrated on the wall behind her as she looked him over. He could smell the anger and apprehension bleeding off her, and the sweet zest of her arousal that he knew she was trying oh so hard to disguise. The air around them being permeated with her hurt, was enough to cover her arousal and it was more than enough to bring him to his goddamn knees, but of course. His girl never backed down, her eyes meeting his with the pure pain that only came from being betrayed. Yet that one small glance, tied him even further to her. Everything he was, was now hers. His wolf, his life, his every fucking need was to make her happy.

_He would be what she needed him too_.

Paul couldn't stop himself as he lurched forward, his heated lips claiming Noelle's and pulling her soft body against his own. Internally he was torn, he was still dead set on the choice he wanted to make but the other half, the deeper half that was currently in control, wanted nothing more than to take her inside and claim her once more. To show his ' _imprint_ ' just how much he'd fucking missed her, just how fucking much she meant to him. He'd laughed off imprinting when he'd seen it in Sam and Jared's heads. But now, now that Noelle was his - he couldn't be fucking happier.

Yeah he was a possessive bastard and _she belonged to him_.

And yet he had to do what he set out to do - he had to hurt her and watching the way her anger bloomed deep in her eyes as his words cut her to pieces had been too much. A war erupted inside of him, the animal hating him for what he did, he hated himself too but he had to do it. She had to have a life, he had to give her one. He had to break her in the most tormented ways to make sure she had a god damn life. When she'd begged him to give her a memory - something to remember him by. He hadn't been able to resist, even if everything inside of him was screaming that it was the worst thing he could do. _He was just going to hurt her more_.

That morning when he'd woken up to note that she'd left - had been the worst day of his life. Alison Uley telling him she'd gone to Boston to be with a member of her birth mother's family. It killed him but at the same time he was glad, now she could live. He would shoulder the weight of the imprint, he would allow it to slowly kill him if it meant his girl gotta do what she dreamed of. As he'd headed to Sam's to inform him, he idly wondered if she'd become a nurse, she'd always shown an interest in it. Often spending many lazy nights telling him she wanted to help people. And after how many times she'd cleaned up his battle wounds - _he knew she'd be fucking awesome at it_.

He can barely remember the conversation with her brother, the one where he explained what went on between him and Noelle. But he knew Sam understood it, he didn't want Noelle's life ruined by the supernatural like theirs had. Both he and her brother wanted her to have a taste of normal. Yet despite the understanding that brewed between them, that was the day Paul changed. With his imprint gone, he gave into the violence within, he allowed the animal to take the reins. The action leading him to be the most uncaged one of them all - someone that could push the boundaries of not only Sam but of Baby Alpha.

_Paul listened to Sam only because he was Noelle's brother_ \- and more than that, he had earned Paul's respect as an alpha. But Paul knew that baby alpha had no chance of controlling him. So it was a blessing when he changed packs, leaving Paul to stick with the one he preferred. Because if he went anywhere near the Cullen's - he'd fucking kill them. Kill them for causing his life to go down the fucking drain and lose the woman he loved.

But more than his anger at The Cullen's - _he became a pure bastard_. He'd start fights with any of his pack brothers simply to see if they'd react. Leah was always fun to piss off, she'd tried to take a bite out of him once she learnt what he did to Noelle. But reminding her that she'd abandoned the girl she thought of like a sister was good enough revenge. It seemed that all the pack did was hurt those around them, their choices, their actions reaching out and hurting those they didn't mean too. And from then on, she became someone to work out his frustrations on.

After all finding willing fighting partners was hard - he knew what he did to the other wolves. He'd known it before the parks had split, and it only intensified when the packs merged once more. He called out to the more animalistic side of them. Due to being one with his wolf, he forced them to feel his rage, his animalistic nature even when he was in human skin. And for that reason - they left him alone. Even the imprints - all of them knew he was not someone to be fucked with. _Not anymore_.

He also knew that Sam wanted to kill him. Every time Paul came to a pack meeting smelling of some random whore he'd spent the night with - he saw it in Sam's eyes. The anger that Paul dared to sleep with someone, to harm his imprint. But Paul didn't give a shit, for in that moment as he fucked a random whore he didn't care about ; he could pretend that it was Noelle. Pretend that it was his girl that was making him come undone and it's only as the cold realisation kicked in when it was over, that he truly thought he was going to lose his damn mind. The women were often thrown out of his house without a second thought or look. And if Sam cared to check, Paul never went after brunettes. No, there was only one brunette for him.

Before he knew it - six years had passed. Often when he was left with his solitude, either by his own doing or by the pack. He found himself thinking of Noelle. What was she doing, was she successful, how beautiful had she become. All of it played over and over in his mind and it was enough to make him fucking crazy. She was enough to have him losing his goddamn mind, even now after six long fucking years. But he didn't regret his decision, he was happy for her. As much as he could be with the knowledge she wasn't with him.

But how could she be with him. Yes the bullshit with Bella Swan, wait sorry Bella Cullen, was over but since they'd seen those italian pricks - vampires kept coming in droves. All to see that half breed child that was Jacob's imprint. The threat of vampires had never truly left them and Noelle was better kept away from it all, where she was less likely to become someone's fucking dinner.

His head shakes as he pulls himself out of his musings, his long frame settled on the stairs leading up to Sam's house, his dark eyes drinking in the pack and imprints as they fuck around. All of them waiting on the return of Sue after the baby wolves had somehow hurt her. Even from where Paul was sitting - he could feel the anger rolling off his brother and he knew, _the kids were fucked_.

Paul hadn't been around for the clusterfuck that was apparently Brady and Colin injuring Sue and he'd simply lifted a brow in acknowledgement as Sam told the shifters that started to gather in his kitchen. Instead he'd simply leaned against the far wall, his hands trapped behind his back and drifted off, the voices of his pack mates becoming nothing but white noise. He could sense the wolves moving around him, wary of the volatile air that seemed to permeate the space whenever Paul was around. His lips curling up in a languid smirk that was more animal than human as he could feel all of them ramping up - feeding off the emotions their pack brother was throwing off.

It was after the tenth snarl from Leah that he'd decided to extract himself from the drama and head out to the porch - the pack slowly following soon after as they relished in the peace that came from a random day off. They'd not had a new vampire around in a few days but Paul wasn't holding his breath that it would last. It hadn't in the six years he'd been phasing - so why would it now. It wouldn't stop till the Cullen's finally fucked off, but thanks to Jacob - _that wouldn't be happening for a while_. So he sat there and listened, his mind barely registering what Sue was talking about. Until he said her name, his whole body growing taunt with the knowledge that his girl - _his girl was home_.

No one had been able to stop him the moment he learnt Noelle was back - a simple glance thrown in Sue's direction to make sure she wasn't lying to him. But it wasn't her face he truly focused on, it was Jared's. And under the myriad of pain and anger swirling in his dark pools he'd watched as his pack brother flinched and darted his eyes to his feet. That was all the confirmation that Paul needed - his girl was indeed back. After that he'd taken off, phasing from man to wolf with a speed that surprised even him as he took off through the woods towards Forks Hospital.

And it's where he found himself right now - he was thankful that his mind was static to his pack mates. As the way he'd literally run through his whole history the moment he'd spotted Noelle after six years was enough to give anyone a headache. But he didn't give a shit - as his girl was home. _And she looked fucking glorious_. Before she had been beautiful in her innocence but now, six years had done her well. She was taller and her curves had him itching to hold them, to see if they were still as soft under his hands as they had previously been. He could feel pride stabbing through his heart that she had indeed become a nurse - he was happy for her.

But it was the fire she was showing towards her brother that had truly caught his attention. His rose had grown thorns and he could feel pure arousal pulsing through him at the prospect. Six years ago she'd been soft and pliant - he brought out the fire with their lovemaking. But she was still so damn innocent, but now, now she was truly something else and he could feel his need for her growing. His wolf screamed for him to go over there and claim what was theirs. It takes everything he is not too.

Instead he hangs on her every word - feels the hurt pulsing behind every syllable and that's the only thing that keeps him rooted in his place. She was angry at Sam - which meant she'd be fucking livid with him. Some part of him knew that getting his girl back wouldn't be easy. But she was still his, and he'd do fucking anything to have her back. He'd let her go once and it had nearly killed him. He became the bastard that the pack didn't want to be around, the manwhore who used women simply to forget Noelle. No he'd let her go one too many times.

_There was no way he was letting her go again_.


	7. We all need a fairytale.

**\- Forks, Washington -**

**\- Noelle -**

As much as Noelle hated the modus operandi bullshit that was small town life, she’s thankful for the routine that she falls under. Her days filled with getting up, going for a run, having breakfast and then heading off to work and spending her days working on avoiding Dr. Cullen. She then came home, had a shower to wash off the feeling of unease, having another run and then she’d vary between either falling asleep before Daryl - or trying to lose herself in Daryls’ arms. He knew how to bring desire to the forefront of her emotions and mind, yet it didn’t erase how her mind would wander. Thinking over shit she really didn’t deserve to be thinking about, not when Daryl was someone who didn’t deserve that happening to him.  _ He deserved her full attention _ .

Time moved so slow that Noelle thought at one moment she was going to end up dying in a blink of an eye - as whilst her routine was almost peaceful. She could feel that a storm was brewing on the horizon, that something was going to come in and turn everything on its head. It was a gut feeling that burned so damn high that it had her constantly looking over her shoulder and wondering where the threat was coming through. It was stupid, she knew that and it was bordering on insane paranoia.

It was the same paranoia that had her still feeling like someone was watching her, that every single one of her movements was being analysed by something or someone. The only respite she got was within the hospital - of course that added a whole new level of problems as that was where Dr. Cullen was and he was just something she wasn’t equipped to handle. It seemed the more the days passed, the more she had a ton of questions in regard to the pale and obviously beyond human doctor.

There was just something inside of Noelle telling her as such - so much so she’d obsessed over trying to remember the legends she’d been told as a child. The same legends that she and Sam had laughed over and said would never come true. After all they were just bedtime stories told to make the children of La Push behave. Yet for some reason she wanted to remember them - wanted to cling to them and remind herself that there was no supernatural in the world and she sure as shit didn’t live in a fairytale. It was stupid really - how she wanted to remember tribe legends just to convince herself that her boss was normal.

_ Nice going Uley. _

Soon a month passed and Noelle found herself relaxed in her new routine - she hadn’t had any more visits from her past but again she was holding out for the storm that was no doubt coming her way at some point. The calm had her worried, she knew her brother and maybe Sue would have told the tribe she was back. So she was more than surprised that she didn’t have any more visitors. But of course with the calm came the self doubt. Because of what she said to Sam, did the others not care ?. Or were they still pissed about her leaving and decided that she wasn’t worth coming to see.

As much as she didn’t want to see them, she couldn’t help the doubts that plagued her and often had her waking from sleep. Her lip bore the brunt of many anxiety filled attacks that she ripped the skin off her lip before her teeth sank into it. It was one of her worst habits and it just showed how much the distance was getting to her. She hadn’t expected Sam to give up on her so quick - or the people she had once called friends. And no matter how many times she told herself she wanted it this way. It still hurt.

But it was a double edged sword as she hadn’t reached out either, she was too scared. Not over any of their responses - she was scared to let them back in again. She didn’t know if she could handle them walking out of her life again and pretending she didn’t exist. She missed them, missed making jokes with Jared at Sam’s expense, missed Leah and her bitchy ways. Missed Paul. And she also missed her mother, she hadn’t even gotten the strength to go see her in case she ran into her brother or any of the others. Which was stupid, but it showed the true level of just how scared and hurt she truly was. But given her wedding was now only four months away - she knew that doomsday would be coming soon.

_ Well the second doomsday _ .

The first doomsday came in threes. First was that her beloved 1967 impala that she’d paid a lot of money to have restored had decided to die on her. And given she truly didn’t know much about cars meant that she had no idea what the bloody hell was wrong with it. Daryl had spent five minutes laughing at her small temper tantrum over that fact before promising they’d take it to a garage to fix. She was just lucky that Daryl loved vintage cars too otherwise he would not have understood the tantrum she threw.  _ Even if she was a bit mortified she’d done it in the first place _ .

_ The second tier to her really shitty day _ , came in the form of wedding planning, or more specifically in the form of cake tasting and choosing the flowers. She didn’t know if it was because she was on her period, or the fact she’d once again been woken up by her anxiety but she was about three seconds away from strangling the preppy woman in front of her. The woman’s voice in Noelle’s opinion was way too cheery and no one should be smiling like it was going to break their face - all while explaining how a certain cake flavour was better than others.  _ It was fucking abnormal _ .

And yeah she was feeling exceptionally violent by the time Daryl led her out of the bakery and over to the florists -  _ which didn’t help her mood _ . It was as though the florist was not listening to her and Noelle couldn’t help but picture what the woman would look like with daisies shoved down her throat.  _ Honestly was it just piss off Noelle day _ .

And the lovely third tier to her shitty day - well that was one she really wished didn’t come. She’d have taken the cheery cake lady and the florist ten times over then the phone call that came whilst her and Daryl were grabbing dinner with some friends before going to get Daryl’s tux sorted. Yeah Noelle didn’t want to think about the fact she didn’t have a dress yet. But dinner had started to make her laugh, their friends working to bring her out of her funk and actually get her to leave the bad mood behind.  _ Until that phone call _ . 

“ Nurse Uley. The tribal hospital needs you – ” Dr. Cullen speaks in his fluent and highly annoying voice the moment she answers the phone.  “ There’s been a string of incidents lately and Sue is understaffed. And well you’re on call for the next three days. ”

Of course -  _ the partnership between Forks General and the tribal hospital in La Push _ . If the hospital needed help then Forks would send down it’s on call nurse for a full day shift - twenty four hours of pure help - to help them get back on top of whatever was needed. It was Noelle’s turn to be on the schedule and she had been hoping that she didn’t get this call. Some selfish part of herself didn’t want to have to go down there. But it wasn’t like she could pack out, it was in her contract. Even Daryl was on call if La Push needed him.

_ That was just how it was _ .

She sighs as she runs a hand through her hair, half of her attention drawn to what Cullen was saying, the other half drawn to concentrating on not pulling out her hair. She understood that she was on call, meaning it was her job to help out when needed. But that didn’t mean she was looking forward to going to La Push and helping out at the tribal hospital for the next twenty-four hours. Some small part of her wished she had traded shifts with Melanie and she would have another week before being on call.

She also couldn’t help but wonder if this was a ploy to get her to La Push - was her tribe honestly that low to use her job as a means to get her back on tribal grounds. Would Sue allow that to happen ?. She prayed it wasn’t true but there wasn’t anything she could do - for the next twenty-four hours of her life she was at the disposal of the Quileute’s.

She agrees that she’s on her way and would be there in the next few hours before ending the call. Her hazel eyes find Daryl and she smiles softly as she tells him what’s happening and apologises for having to bail. Of course he understands completely and gets her to promise that she’d call him if she needed him. Even if it meant driving her home. She does and he hands over the keys to his 1967 Camaro - again shes thankful he loves old cars - and promises to get her own car fixed whilst she was in La Push and ready for her when she’s back at work.

_ Just another small reminder that she didn’t deserve Daryl _ . 

She drove back to Forks with resignation and used the hour car drive to try and find some energy to actually do this. Find the energy to actually be back on tribal grounds and so close to everyone and do it willingly. She knew by the twentieth hour she’d be absolutely drained. Not because it was a long shift -  _ she’d done longer _ \- but because it would take everything she has to get through it. She wanted to help, especially if they needed her help. There was just the small thing of she hoped to god that this didn’t come with a price, one that she wasn’t so sure she was willing to pay. As whilst she was currently stuck in limbo over who should make the first move in terms of potentially reconnecting with those she’d left behind. She knew, somewhere deep down in a place she didn’t really want to venture, she wasn’t ready.  _ She could forgive one day, but she couldn’t forget _ .

One she reaches the house she quickly heads inside grabbing a shower, her mind mentally counting the minutes before she's out and getting dressed in her scrubs in under ten minutes. A new record for her and she mentally pats herself on the back. Grabbing her phone and keys she heads back out the house to make the thirty minute ride to her birthplace. As each second ticks by she feels her body growing tense with anticipation as well as other emotions she wasn’t sure she wanted to feel.

Before she can correlate the shit she was feeling, she sees the tribal hospital come into view and pulls into the designated spot for those from Forks and sits. The car idling as she works to sort out her very irregular heartbeat and remember just what it is to breathe.  _ You’re here for a job Uley, now do it. _ Her mental pep talk does nothing more than make it worse but it’s enough that it gets her out the car and through the doors. Mentally berating herself with every step.

She’s glad that as she enters and is immediately swept up in the rush of whatever is happening, which allows her to immediately slip into nurse mode. She wasn’t Noelle here - she was Nurse Uley and she had a job to do. She wasn’t above admitting though that it felt a little weird, okay more than a little weird. The other nurses and Sue were people she spent summers following around like a puppy, and here she was right in the middle of them with blood coating her hands and someone’s life on the line. Yet she felt at home - for the first time in six years.  _ She was truly home _ .

Yeah even she was trying not to think about the true depth of those words. Instead she was focusing solely on helping the patients that rolled into the small hospital. Along the way she picked up as much information she could - apparently someone was hurting hikers and leaving them near death. But Noelle wasn’t stupid - she saw some of the looks when everyone thought she wasn’t looking and she knew there was more to it, more secrets, but she didn’t care.  _ Her patients came first _ .

Something she reminds herself as the hours quickly pass her by. Eyes cutting to the window and she notes that dusk was starting to settle outside and whilst normally that would be the sign that she could go home - she knew she still had about eighteen hours left of her shift. If not longer, all depending on how bad the hospital needed her. And as her eyes cut around to the patients now placed in beds and nurses slowly falling asleep where they were sitting - it was making that outcome highly probable. But that was a bridge she’d cross if it came to it.

A surge of awareness flushes down her spine and she spins, eyes locked on the doors as she watches them burst open and golden skin step into her line of vision. Apprehension floods her veins like a cold chill as she registers that they had another emergency and her feet moved almost automatically in that direction. Yet as she raises her eyes to land on the other person, the one doing the carrying, she finds herself freezing in place. Her body grows ridgid as she stares back into the obsidian pits of her ‘ _ first love _ ’.

Around him she can note her brother and various others, yet her eyes stay locked on his and she chokes on her breath as it catches in her throat. When she was a idiotic teenager she had thought he was handsome, far more handsome than he should be. She forces her eyes to drop down to the floor and yet it does nothing, as almost as though drawn against her will, she once more drinks him in. Like she was a starving woman who hadn’t feasted in years. And truthfully she hadn’t, she’d been starved of Paul for six years. If she really wanted to get technical about it.

A smirk flutters up the corner of her lips as she notes he's barefoot before her eyes continue to drag upwards, settling on long, wickedly muscled thighs that flexed deliciously under well-worn cut-offs with each movement he made. Said cut-offs looked soft enough to make her palms itch with the sudden desire to stroke up and over and familiarise herself with the feel of  **_him_ ** . Her breath stutters as she follows the line of his body over tight hips that looked deliciously bare of anything like underclothes - her mind supplying the stray thought of remembrance that  _ he had always gone commando _ . She continues to stare as he slowly crept forward as though daring to come closer, to invade her personal space just  _ like the presence of him was invading her thoughts _ . 

Noelle knew she had to force her gaze somewhere else, but in that moment she became highly aware of how his abs were so tight and hard they could only have been intended for the pleasure of lips, tongue and teeth. Something that again her mind supplied her with a memory of doing just that -  _ the day she left _ . And as though all it took was that memory, she could feel the taste of him bloom over her tongue. And it takes every inch of willpower she has to keep the moan caged behind her teeth. Reluctantly, and  _ completely against her will _ , her gaze returns to him.

Hazel eyes skimming over impossibly broad shoulders and silky hair so deeply black, it shone with blue lowlights against his dark golden complexion. His shoulders were sloped with thick muscle, perfectly matching the arms that rippled with power under his beautiful skin and she could almost see the ripples of it as he moved. The power calling her forward,  _ daring her to touch once more _ . The corner of his viciously sexy mouth kicked up with seeming amusement, wide and masculinely decadent as he returned her gaze. His obsidian gaze swirling with a thunderstorm of emotions.

A small dimple winked at her from his lean cheek as he enjoyed the helpless ogling that she couldn’t control if she tried, in that moment staring at him, she even forgot that this was the man who broke her heart. This was the man she’d spent six years running from. Because there, under his decadent gaze, she felt like an eighteen year old again,  _ one who was completely helpless against him _ . A peaked brow lifts in question as he tilted his head as if to get a better view of her in return and though she'd never considered herself to be at all religious, even if every now and then she’d curse enough to make a priest turn into a sinner, she had the sudden and utter belief that the devil had been feeling himself completely when he’d made Paul.

_ Oh he was very bad for a woman's health _ , Noelle thinks wryly as she finally manages to tear her eyes away. Her lungs scream for oxygen as she fights against her body. Every inch of her coming alive as she stood there before Paul, feeling completely naked as he returned the eye-fuck she just gave him. She knew she’d changed in the six years she’d been away, but she wasn’t beautiful,  _ not overly beautiful anyway _ . And she couldn’t help the self doubt creep in.  _ Did he like what he saw ? _

_ Oh get over yourself Uley, you have a job to do _ . In that moment Noelle is thankful that her more adult portion of her mind decided to make a reappearance as she moves over to the emergency that he had brought in. A faint blush painting her cheeks as she wonders just how many of them witnessed her lack of judgement in regards to Paul. A blush that only grows in heat as she comes to stand beside him, her ears barely registering her brother's analysis of the victim as all she can note is how tall Paul was now. He had to be at least 6’6 and the other part of her brain,  _ the one sailing straight to the gutter in a handbasket _ , couldn’t help but cook up images of what it would be like to climb him and have her way in every decadent way she could think of.

Oh this day was definitely her worst by far. Here she stood, an engaged woman and yet the mere sight of her ex had her turning into a horny teenager. Her mind betraying her with all the memories of how many times he had made her come undone. Of how he’d made her feel. As though her heart wasn’t covered in scars from him, as though the words he’d spoken all those years ago didn’t still ring in her mind. No, _ none of that seemed to matter when she was this close to him _ . And it was only as she met Sue’s eyes that she remembered it all, her body growing rigid as she breathed out deeply, forcing everything he’d just made her feel and think into a box deep inside of her mind to never think about again.

She wouldn’t let Paul Lahote bother her,  _ she wasn’t his anymore _ .


	8. The bad taste I can't erase.

**\- La Push, Washington -**

**\- Noelle -**

If there was a moment where hitting her head repeatedly against the wall looked appealing - it would be right now. It was more than appealing, it was something she actually contemplated doing as she forced herself to go through the motions as she stood there, Paul’s eyes burning into her back. She didn’t even need to turn to confirm it was him, it was as though all of her body was now hotwired to his every movement and action and honestly, _ she was about ready to climb out of her skin _ . Or hit her head against the wall till she was nothing but a drooling mess - because truly that’s what she’d been when she’d seen him.  _ So why not pull a double _ .

She wished she knew why all of a sudden, rational thought seemed to fuck off on her. Yes she knew that Paul was hot, it was a recurring theme with all of those from La Push. But to literally forget in that moment what he did, to forget that she was with Daryl and want nothing more than to fall into hot and dirty sex with her ex. Yeah even that she had to admit was the cause for her questioning if she was suffering from brain damage.

She also knew her therapist would have a field day with that little nugget and Noelle briefly wondered if she should book herself in for an appointment as well as rent out a wing at the local nut house. Because really, what the fuck had she been thinking. She hadn’t been, clearly. Her head shakes at her wayward thoughts as she follows Sue’s orders and quickly moves to get what the patient needed.

But even the routine of helping someone couldn’t stop her thoughts, and she knew it. Apparently so did Sue, as finally after the two have gotten the bleeding to stop and the patient’s heartbeat to regulate, she feels the small hand that could only belong to the elder Quileute. For a moment, Noelle is ashamed to meet her eyes, expecting nothing but judgement to reside in those dark orbs. Because right now, that was how she felt about herself, so why not have everyone else dumping it on her too.

“ Noelle – ” The soft voice is enough to have Noelle looking at her and she sighs as she notes nothing but forgiveness shining in her eyes. “ Look I don't know what you’re feeling right now, but it’s understandable okay. Don’t beat yourself up  **_!_ ** ” 

“  _ I can’t help it _ – ” 

“ I know. ” Sue says softly as her hand moves and settles on Noelle’s shoulder, the heat of it an odd comfort that the younger girl drinks in. “ Look later when it’s not so busy, I'd like to talk. If that’s okay – ” 

The words felt far colder than they were delivered - because there it was. The bias trait that Sue couldn’t help. After all Noelle had noted that Leah and Seth were pretty much a part of her brother's group. Meaning Sue had a personal stake in it, and Noelle, well she was just the tribe member who left and basically pissed off the ‘ _ golden boy _ ’. But still Noelle nods and accepts the idea to talk.

_ After all, it was bad manners to turn down an Elder _ .

Once Sue was back at her task, Noelle set off to finish the last little tasks she needed. Her actions once more become routine and she settles back into her ‘nurse mode’ with ease and for the next two hours she can easily forget who was out in the waiting room. That her past was quite literally on the other side of the wall and she had basically just eye-fucked it. Yet as the clocks chime signalling it was midnight, she knew she had to face it once more. 

Slithering from the room silently as to not wake up any of the patients that were now sleeping either of their own violation or with medical help, she walks into the waiting area. Her eyes land on her brother first and she nods as he offers her a small smile. It was the most she’d offered him in the whole time he’d been there and she guessed it was a step towards reconciliation, even if the action seemed more like something two strangers would do in passing.

She doesn’t glance at Paul as she wasn’t sure she could trust herself after the rather vicarious response she has the first time. Instead she allows her eyes to drag over the other bodies gathered, a soft smile sent in the direction of Jared who offers her one back. She also recognises Embry and the two other boys from that day in the hospital with Sue. But the others, they are blank to her mind and instead she simply looks them over, noting the similarities between them all. If she didn’t know better -  _ she’d assume they were all brothers _ .

And then there was Paul, he was like a shadow in her peripheral. One she couldn’t ignore no matter how much she wanted too. 

“ What no greeting for an old friend – ” 

She’d recognize that drawl anywhere, the deep husky undertone that wrapped around each syllable he spoke like melted honey. It was a voice she didn’t want to hear again, even if she had blatantly eye-fucked him earlier, that she could handle, hearing him was a completely different story. Breathing in deeply, she forces her tongue and brain to cooperate with her as she turns to look at him with a bright, but completely fake smile on her face.

“ Oh my god. Paul, how are you **_?_ ** It's .. been – ” God even she had to cringe at how fake her words just sounded to her own ears, never mind those who were watching the interaction unfold.  “ Yeah no. I can’t seem to bring myself to give a shit about an asshole. Sorry the words just get stuck in my throat  **_!_ ** ” 

_ Hello sarcasm, please take a seat _ . 

She was noticing a recurring theme when it came to the boys of her past - she was even reacting in a sarcastic way or an all out bitch. There was no inbetween and if she was honest, it surprised her. She had never been a bitch, she had always been the innocent one of the Uley siblings. And yet, either her tongue was cutting with sarcastic quips that would have had Daryl cheering like a highschool cheerleader, or she was being a bitch at an intensity that could outdo Leah. It was strange,  _ but not unwelcome _ .

She could hear deep guffawing laughter and turned to see Jared and Embry laughing their heads off as the two leant against the wall, their postures making it seem as though they literally collapsed against it with their laughter. And given it’s Jared - she’s almost sure he did. Hearing their laughter has her smiling a little as she shakes her head and heads over to the reception desk. Thankful for the space it put between her and Paul for the time being.

She uses the monotonous task of shuffling papers to reign in the thundering of emotions that was currently causing havoc inside of her body. It felt like butterflies were doing the irish jig inside of her stomach and not in a good way - anxiety was a bitch and right now Noelle was feeling it in all its glory.

“ What do you want Paul  **_?_ ** ” her tone biting as she looks up from the paperwork in her hands. Her hazel eyes locking on his obsidian ones.

She refused to back down, yes she’d had a severe lapse in judgement earlier but she was sure as shit not going to have one this time. No she was going to stand her fucking ground and remember that this was the man who broke up with her. The man who knew how much losing Sam had destroyed her and then went and destroyed her too - in practically the same manner Sam had destroyed Leah. If that wasn’t some kinda of poetic fuck up, she really didn’t know what was.

“ ‘Elle – ” Paul starts but she raises a hand stopping him.

“ Don’t.  _ Only my family, my friends and my fiance _ get to call me Elle – ” she growls, the words coming out far more heated than her previous question.  “ And seeing as you are none of them, you can call me Nurse Uley. I mean if you know manners. ” 

_ Glad you could join us, side of bitch, please take a seat next to sarcasm and enjoy the show _ . She snorts softly at her internal thoughts as she looks at him. Almost instinctively she takes a step back as a deep growl flutters off his sinful lips, the edges of it curled upwards in a snarl that would make even the hardest ‘non-religious’ man hit the deck and pray. But Noelle doesn’t back down, she keeps her face level and her eyes locked on his. Even as his anger washes over her and clenches deep in her chest. 

It's then that she realises just what set him off, how in her whole small tangent so far he’d been mildly amused and kept trying to get her attention. Until she uttered one word - fiance. She can’t help the small laugh that falls off her lips and  _ because she’s petty enough _ , she reaches up and starts to fiddle with the ring settled around her neck. Her actions making it seem like it was a subconscious decision when in reality she knew exactly what she was doing.

“ You’re getting married  **_?_ ** ” The words are growled and Noelle takes another small step backwards. The necklace drops from her fingers as her eyes widen slightly.

When she’d first gotten with Paul she knew he was dangerous - she had witnessed so many of his fights that there was never any question of it. But now seeing the fire burning in his eyes and the way his whole body shook - as though he was trying and failing to keep the true depth of his rage contained. She was scared. Sam as though sensing the danger steps forward and as much as she was pissed at him, right now she’s thankful for it. But of course that doesn’t stop her mouth - because apparently her filter chooses that moment to take a long fucking vacation.

“ What did you expect Paul  **_?_ ** ” She growls as she stares straight into his angry eyes. “ Did you think that i spent the last six years pining after you like some stupid schoolgirl. Well newsflash asshole I am not Leah. I know how to move the fuck on – ” 

She can hear a growl and shoots a glare in that direction, pleased when it’s Leah that the look lands on. Yeah she was pissed at her too, because for all her saying that Noelle was like a baby sister. She dumped her too, and it had nothing to do with Noelle being Sam’s sister. It was just Leah being a bitch. Though Noelle would admit - it Leah came to her with a good enough reason for being radio silent, then yeah she’d welcome her friend back. Because she missed the older woman, just as much as she missed everyone. But she was hurting for crying out loud -  _ she was allowed to be angry _ .

“ I told you that day on the porch, that if you wanted it to be over.  **_Then it was over_ ** . So i moved on, i grew up and in four months i am marrying a man who i don’t fucking deserve but one who treats me as more than a paleface girl he could fuck for fun – ” 

“ You’re not getting fucking married. You’re mine  **_!_ ** ” Her eyebrow peaks at the growled words, her own anger flaring for a moment.

“  _ I am not yours Paul _ . You lost that right to me the moment i left you in my fucking bed when i was eighteen years old.  _ I am Daryl’s _ . And you want to know something, he’s a better fuck then you, at least he knows how to make me scream  **_!_ ** ” 

_ Well that was one way of doing it _ , she thinks wryly. Her hand came up to wipe at her angry tears once more, a mirror image of when she was standing in the parking lot with her brother over a month ago. She drags her eyes to see he was angry as well but not as much as Paul. Her head shakes as she takes off into the backroom she stored her belongings in, the door slamming behind her as she crumples to the floor.

She didn’t want anyone to be angry, she fucking hated it, but she was in too much pain to feel anything else. And yet how Sam and Paul were acting, as though she was the one in the wrong, was cutting straight through her heart and making it feel as though she was coming apart at the seams. She wasn’t sure what she did wrong - was she not supposed to move on. No, she knew she was. Because neither of them had stopped her. No one had stopped her when she left, she had subconsciously left her details with her mother, praying that one of them would reach out. One would come to her and ask her to come home - and as ashamed as she is to admit it.  _ She would have done it _ .

Noelle feels herself flinch as heated arms wrap around her, a glance up through tear stained eyes show Jared, his eyes soft as he pulls her into the heated contorts of his skin. She wanted to fight, to push him away, to refuse his touch. Yet she does none of that, instead she lets him pull her closer. Her head tucked up under his chin, her hands curling into fists against his skin - and she cries. She lets it all out, six years worth of pain and longing, right there in Jared’s arms. His soothing words barely registered in her mind but the soft timbre of his voice was enough.

“ Let it out ‘Elle. Let it out – ” 

She hiccups at his words, she didn’t even have the energy to argue that he couldn’t call her Elle, he wasn’t her friend, he was Sam’s. And yet he was here with her, he was holding her as she basically snotted all over his bare chest and lost herself in the feelings she thought she’d locked so far down they didn’t exist anymore.

“ They .. they act like … like I'm the enemy – ” mentally she gives herself a high five that her sentence was at least partially intelligible. Considering the blubbering mess she was.

God where did all her strength go, the backbone she’d created in the six years she’d left. It all came crashing down with one simple interaction.

“ You’re not the enemy Elle,  _ they are _ . They’re the assholes in this situation and you are the woman who survived them. Who has a fire that has me so proud it’s ridiculous and quite frankly i’ve become your personal cheerleader. ” 

She cuts her eyes up to Jared, doubt swirling in her whiskey eyes. Because since when was he on her team? Yeah her and Jared always had a fun relationship, he would often help her with her homework and the two would discuss old cars - one of the only things they had in common. But they weren’t friends per se. So hearing all this coming out of his mouth. Was quite a surprise, and maybe that was why she was _ hanging onto his every goddamn word _ .

“ Look, this right here, this is just you building another chink of armour. It isn’t you being weak it’s you getting rid of the pain they caused.  _ Finally letting them go _ . And Elle they fucking deserve it. They hurt you, and they’re too blind to realise just how much. ” he sighs softly, moving some of her hair off her neck. “ You are strong, you are a fighter, and in the last six years you found a reason to get up every morning. A reason to get on with your life and maybe your fiance is that reason, if he is, then i need to shake his hand. Paul and Sam need to realise if they want to be in your life, they need to work at it.  _ You are in the right here Elle _ , you were the one hurt by actions and secrets, not them, never them.  _ You _ **_!_ ** ” 

She doesn’t think as her arms come up then and she hugs him as tight as she could, her small arms barely wrapping around his muscular frame. Something he notes as his husky laughter washes over her like a calming balm and he hugs her back, just as tight. Noelle was sure if someone asked her, what it was like to have someone in her corner, someone to understand that she was just trying to protect herself - she would be positive that she wouldn’t know what to say.  _ Because there were no words _ . But in her gut she knew this was what it was, he might have other motives, but he was also in her corner.  _ And it felt good _ .

“ Thanks Jared – ” she murmurs as she pulls away. “ I … i needed that – ” 

Despite what she said, she felt bad about the fact he witnessed her falling apart. This was something she didn’t even want to do. She wanted to keep those emotions on complete lockdown and here she was, falling apart in someone’s arms, someone who had never been her friend. Not really. But were they now - had they practically just vaulted over that forbidden barrier and were now friends. Because honestly, Noelle’s head was spinning trying to understand it all.

“ So my personal cheerleader huh  **_?_ ** ” she falls back on teasing as her lips uplift in a smirk “ Does that come with a full uniform and pom-poms  **_?_ ** ” 

His bark of laughter was enough to set off her own as she worked on wiping her tears away, her chest now hurting from the action of laughing, instead of the action of holding herself together. One thing she was glad of, was that it was still somewhat easy being around Jared, something she’d noted when she was younger. And the way he’d not commented on anything, had turned her cry-fest into something positive. It meant something.

“ If you want a full uniform. I’ll see what i can do  **_!_ ** ” her head shaking at the easygoing smile on his face. “ Now come on, find those big girl panties of yours and your fire. And let’s get you back out there and show those idiots, the new Noelle Uley. The one who doesn’t take anyone’s shit anymore. How about it  **_?_ ** ” 

She lets him pull her up, his thumbs coming up to wipe away the last of her tears as she drags in a deep calming breath, she could already feel her ‘armour’ as Jared called it slipping back into place. And yes the pain was still churning around inside but now she felt like she could handle it. Now she could face them without balling her eyes out at the drop of her anger. At Jared’s nod she follows him out the room, her eyes landing on Sue and with a quick mouthed ‘ _ i’m okay _ ’ she heads back to the desk to finish her paperwork. 

She notes that Paul and Sam are no longer standing in the waiting area and lets out a breath she didn’t know she was holding, her eyes lifting to meet Jared’s and she returns his smile with a small one of her own. Her day really hadn’t gone how she wanted it too, but maybe she had a new friend, someone who understood. Or would at least let her cry with them. That counted for something she guessed.


	9. Thinking is sometimes a bad thing.

**\- La Push, Washington -**

**\- Noelle -**

The worst part of working long shifts that crossed over into the night was that there were always times your mind was free to wander. Moments where the quiet bled in and left you overthinking everything in your life. Things such as, what was for dinner the next day, or did you make the right choice in arguing with your brother and being a petty bitch when it came to your ex-boyfriend. All of that was running riot inside of Noelle’s mind as the time slowly ticked by, her attention drawn away too much by the clock on the wall.

 _Between the hours two and three am_ \- it was almost like every second of her life was replaying inside of her mind like some morbid movie that was far from entertaining. She could remember the days in which she nearly lost her mind over her missing brother, of meeting Paul and looking the other way every time someone told her he got into a fight. Of how she witnessed him beating someone up who had flirted with her, simply because she was his. She’d ignored his possessive streak back then, ignored that he would threaten people, males, who got too close to her. She ignored it because she loved him. _And she knew he loved her_.

But now, she wasn’t sure how to take his possessiveness. Now it felt like a grating thorn in her side, because if he felt like that. Then why the hell didn’t he tell her, why didn’t he make her stay all those years ago. But that also opened an avenue of other thoughts - did she want to stay back then. She didn’t exactly hesitate when she ran away to Boston. So was she just looking for a way out back then, was a part of her glad that Paul had offered it to her.

 _Had she always wanted to leave_ _?_

Noelle couldn’t truly say she was sure of the answer. Yes, she had always had plans to go to school and do nursing, she had hated her brother - but if she’d stayed then maybe they’d have worked out their little spat and moved on and potentially returned to being siblings. Would she and Paul have sorted it out, gotten back together - or were they supposed to forever just be exes and nothing more.

All of it was making her head spin and she snorted softly as her head hit the wood of the front desk, the noise of which made two of the other nurses jump. She shoots them small apologies before trying to return to the paperwork in front of her, all she saw was a jumble of letters. None of it makes sense, just like all the thoughts inside of her head. Pushing away she heads off in the direction of the break room, deciding she needed rocket fuel to get through the next nine hours of a shift that never seemed to end.

“ Hey, Sue – ” she comments softly noting the elder in the break room, both of them it seemed were on a mission for coffee.

“ Hey, Noelle ” a sigh encompasses the end of her words. “ Can we have that talk now **_?_ **” 

Briefly, the brunette wonders if she could escape, prolong the inevitable words that the elder was no doubt wanting to speak to her. She could guess some of it was aimed towards forcing Noelle to forgive her brother, forcing her to be nicer to the people that she had angered earlier. That was why she wanted to ignore the talk, wanted to just grab her coffee, and go back to losing herself inside of her mind. But she had promised she’d listen, so instead, she grabs her rocket fuel and settles in a chair opposite the elder Clearwater, her fingers moving absently over the china as she waits.

“ I know some of what you’re going through – ” a hand raised to stop Noelle’s obvious argument and the brunette sighs. “ Your brother has been keeping secrets for a long time, and yes _I do know what the secrets are_. But I am not saying you need to forgive him, Noelle, I’m saying the two of you need to talk. ” 

And there it was, it was amusing how much she could almost predict what the words would be. Why was it so important that she talked to her brother, _as though she was the damn enemy_ in all of this and was simply acting like a spoiled brat. It was annoying the shit out of her, of how he could have his secrets - but she wasn’t allowed to have her anger.

“ Sue – ” teeth sink into her bottom lip as she thinks on how to word this. “ I get that Sam and the council are keeping secrets and I'm not important enough to know them. Trust me I resigned myself to that fact a long time ago. But that’s not my main issue here Sue, _my main issue is when I needed a big brother_ , I didn’t have one. Because he chose his council duties, he chose his new fricking girlfriend over checking his little sister was okay. I lived in a house with a mother and brother keeping secrets and telling me to leave it alone whenever I asked. On top of that, I was supposed to just smile and pretend everything was okay. Something you’re still telling me to do. Because yeah, Noelle Uley can’t be unhappy - let’s make sure Sam Uley has everyone bowing at his feet and kissing his ass. ” 

Moving to stand, she looks down at the elder woman to see a look of contemplation coloring her face. Noelle hadn’t meant the conversation to go the way it did, to blatantly show disrespect to the other woman but she had, and now those words were ones Noelle couldn’t take back if she tried.

“ I’m sorry Sue. But you’re a part of the council so you know the secrets. _You don’t have to live with the damage I do_. You don’t have to live with the pain of everyone around you keeping secrets - and whilst you and Billy, my brother and the others think it’s a good idea for people not to know. I can tell you, it’s not. Sometimes, _you have to trust those who love you_ , trust them enough that the secrets will be kept. Because if you let them get worse - then you can kiss goodbye to any relationship you have. ” 

“ He missed you. You know. ” 

Sue’s words have her tensing a moment as she sighs.

“ I know and I missed him. I left a way for him to contact me, I invited him to my graduation. He was the one who shut the door on me repeatedly. Hell a phone call would have been nice, to simply know he was alive, to know he was okay. But he didn’t reach out. And I think I'm too tired of holding out the olive branches, _only for him to throw them away_. ” 

Grabbing her cup she heads back to the front desk, lowering herself into the chair she’d been occupying for the last few hours. Her words running through her mind, she would admit it was the first time she’d openly admitted that she’d moved on from the secrets. That she didn’t care about - it was the fact the secrets had ruined her friendship, her relationship with her big brother. With Paul.

Her true problem was with the way her brother had locked her out, had shut her away, _and acted as though they weren’t siblings_. If he was protecting her - _she could slightly understand that_. But she’d have preferred he told her, or a simple phone call to ask if she was okay, to tell her he was okay. Hell, she didn’t even get invited to his wedding - something she only learned of from their mother through a phone call. Inviting him to her graduation had been her last attempt - hoping that he cared enough about her future, her career enough that he’d come and wish her well.

 _But he didn’t come_.

And with Paul - the space there she understood. After all, they had ended things and if they’d kept in touch it would have just been awkward. _Even if they were friends once upon a time_. She just wished she knew what had changed, they were fine, perfect before he lost his temper outside of the cinema and then when he came back. He came back a different person, he came back harsher. His words were ones she would never forget, the way he had dug the knife into her heart and made sure that she was bleeding by the time he was done.

And okay the sex - _that was her fault_. Even now she realizes she should have just slammed the door in his face and called it ‘done’. Inviting him into her bed one last time, that had been the catalyst for him remaining in her heart, in her mind and it wasn’t exactly closure. They dug their holds into each other far deeper than they should have done.

It was draining. Living with everything, the hurt, the anger, the heartache, _and the resentment_. It was swallowing her whole and making her doubt everything. Doubting if she truly loved Daryl, doubting if she wanted to be here. Doubting if she still loved Paul or if it was just leftover feelings from when she was eighteen that were never resolved. It was enough to give her migraine and as the last hours of her shift bled away - that was all she felt. An intense headache that she knew was due to overthinking things. Or she was just that tired.

As she's finishing up the patient charts, ready to hand off to another one of the nurses she hears Jared’s voice and smiles. She’d argued with him over giving her a lift home but she had to admit he had one hell of an argument. Pointing out she’d been working for over twenty-four hours and awake for longer than that. Thus, Noelle gave in and told him to meet her when her shift ended - she made sure he got his sleep. After all, one of them needed it and she wasn’t going to take time away from his girl, best to not make an enemy out of a woman she’d never met before. That was just bad manners.

As the clock slowly starts to tick towards her freedom, Noelle feels herself become resigned to a choice she’d made whilst doing her morning rounds. She wasn’t sure if it was the right choice, she guessed she’d find out if it blew up in her face. But her determination was shining bright - she had to do it. And the more she thought on her choice, the more she felt free for the first time in a while. As though the weight was slowly lifting from her shoulders, as well as the chains on her emotions. It’s why she doesn’t even complain when she learns that the hospital really needs her help. _A shocking change_.

She nods as Sue asks for her help for the full week and promises to talk to Dr. Cullen and see if she was free, she didn’t see a problem. After all she was on call all this week so she was technically doing what she was supposed to do. And given she’d seen how understaffed the tribal hospital was - she couldn’t leave them without help. Despite her issues - she was still Quileute. These were still her people and she’d do anything she can to help them. Even if it meant spending the week in La Push and around those that she really didn’t want to be around. _Well some of them_. Again she could thank her new resolve for that.

Slinging her bag over her shoulder she heads out and towards Jared who was lounging in the waiting room, he’d put a shirt on since she’d last seen him as well as jeans that looked as though they were painted on. Her head shaking as seriously the La Push boys were dangerous to a woman’s health. All of them looked like walking sex and if it wasn’t for the fact she knew Jared was wholly committed to his girl Kim, she’d worry about her self control at keeping women away from him. Something already tested by the young girl who was staring at him from across the waiting room.

“ I need to talk to my brother – ” 

She’d been unsure of what Jared’s response would be to her coming off with that, whilst her words were slightly muffled by the yawn that ripped its way out of her lips. But despite what he had told her earlier - she needed to speak with him. To tell Sam some things and layout some groundwork. As yes she agreed with Jared that Sam had to get used to the new Noelle. But she still wanted him in her life, she would always need her big brother. So to do that, for him to adjust to the girl she was now, and to potentially bridge the gap between them. _They needed to talk_.

So despite her initial worry over what Jared’s reaction would be, she’s still surprised when he swipes her keys with a dexterity that would make a magician jealous and is slowly leading her outside and towards Daryl’s Camaro. She’s thankful for Jared’s hand on her back as she’s almost positive that it’s the only thing keeping her standing in her half tired state. The small voice in the back of her head nagging her to come back and do this later when she’d had more sleep, _when she had the strength_. But she knew, she’d back out. She wouldn’t come back and she’d refuse to even be in a room with her brother.

So whilst she had the strength, the conviction or the pure insanity to do this talk - _it needed to be now_.

She’s silent in the passenger seat as she allows Jared to drive her to where her brother lives - even if a slight tinge of resentment was swirling inside of her that this would be the first visit she’d truly made to his house. The others she’d only ever stood in the driveway and shouted at him. But now, hopefully, she’d actually make it inside the house her brother called home. And the resentment was because she knew that Jared and hell probably Paul already had. They had been given a privilege that was lacking for a baby sister.

 _Something she was truly hoping would stop today_.

She couldn’t continue with this resentment. She couldn’t continue with the hate. Yes, she was stronger now, yes she was a fighter. But underneath it all, Noelle knew it would just swallow her whole at some point. She would lose herself in the resentment and anger and turn into someone that she didn’t want to be. That was her main fear and the true motivation behind what she was doing. _She wanted to breathe without feeling hate in her heart_.

Hazel eyes drag over to Jared and she snorts softly at the relaxed ease the taller male was exuding as he directed the car down the long winding roads. He was perfectly at ease which is a stark contrast to the way she was all but falling apart as she sat beside him. Her teeth abusing her bottom lip to the point she was sure it would bleed soon, the abuse only halted by the small yawns that broke out every five minutes.

 _God, she should really sleep_.

“ We’re here. ” Jared sighs softly. “ I’ll stay outside if you need me and a quick getaway. ” 

She raises a fist to her eyes and tries to rub away the sleepiness that was trying to drag her under. Jared offers her a small smile as he climbs from the car with Noelle following his lead. Her hand bracing against the top of the car as she works to wake herself up. Hazel eyes drag to see her brother standing on his porch and she sighs softly as she pushes off the car and heads in his direction, the closer she gets, she notes that people are inside. The conversation was low but enough that Noelle can hear it, even in her sleep-deprived mind. A quick look over her shoulder showed that Jared was still standing near the car, his small nod encouraging her to keep moving.

“ Can we talk **_?_ ** ” she asks softly. “ Alone. ” 

She’s glad that her voice sounds both brave and doesn’t betray her either with the maelstrom that was inside of her, or the yawns she was barely concealing. Her head tilts as she watches everyone move out of her brother's house and past her, her eyes focusing solely on the wall behind her brother as she notes Paul follows out the gaggle of bodies. She doesn’t move, even as she hears them all disappear, and only when she can hear Jared jingling the keys and her brother's breathing does she return her eyes to the task at hand. _Talking with her brother_.

“ Come in Noelle. ” 

She breathes in deep as she follows her brother's tall frame, her eyes drinking in the house and smiling softly at the naturistic undertones that were scattered around. She also sees the various dinner plates and feels bad that she’d just interrupted everyone's dinner. A feeling that lasts all of five seconds before she realizes this talk needs to happen. She had to get this out. _She just had too_.

Her head turns to the side as she hears someone moving, her eyes landing on a native woman. She regards the scars littering the woman's face for all of three seconds before she continues to drink her in, a soft smile lifting in greeting. So this had to be Emily - she could see why her brother was under her spell. She was gorgeous - in a soft and meek allure, _a nurturing one_. Pulling up her big girl panties - _as Jared so eloquently put it_ \- she moves closer to the woman with a hand extended in greeting.

“ You must be Emily ** _?_ ** ” Her steps coming to a halt an arms width away from her sister-in-law. “ It’s a pleasure to meet you. I’m sorry it’s taken this long. ” 

Despite any previous reservations Noelle had regarding the woman before her, she can’t stop the gentle smile that upturns the corner of her lips as Emily speaks. The elder woman pulls her into a hug and Noelle can’t stop the small chuckles at her forwardness - bordering giggles if she was honest with herself. After covering another yawn she accepts Emily’s offer of tea and turns to look at her brother, her hands wringing nervously in front of her.

 _It was now or never_.


	10. Two steps forward.

**\- La Push, Washington -**

**\- Noelle -**

To say the air was tense was an understatement - Noelle was almost positive she was about to drown in the thickness of it. For a split second it was making her want to run out the room and tell Jared to take her home. But that wouldn’t solve anything, she’d just be running again, something she’d swore she’d stop doing. She was an adult, she was twenty-four years old and it was time she faced her problems head on. Even if that meant damaging the relationship with her brother further - but given the space between them, she couldn’t help but wonder if there was anything left to break. Or were they just two people who shared a father.

 _Like the rumor that Embry was their half brother_.

“ First I just want to make sure you know, you don’t have my forgiveness – ” She states clearly as she looks her brother in the eyes, her hazel locking with his dark brown. “ I can’t just hand that to you, not after everything that’s happened. ” 

Emily walks in at that moment and she smiles softly at the other woman as she hands over the tea before disappearing back out the room. Her sister-in-law realizing this was a conversation between the siblings and Noelle feels a small shred of respect for the woman who was practically a stranger. She didn’t know her, didn’t know how she and Sam got together, or what their life was like. She was a stranger staring from the outskirts when it came to their marriage, and it hurt.

“ Growing up, you were my hero. I practically worshipped the ground you walked on. ” her breath is shaky as she brings her eyes back up to her brothers. “ Everyone used to ask me how I could handle not having a father but I didn't care, why did I need a father when I had the best big brother in the world. The one who chased the nightmares away, the one who held me when I split my head open at first beach. _You were my hero Sammy_. ” 

God this conversation was turning out harder than she thought, she could already feel the tears gathering at the corner of her eyes. But she was fighting them, she had to get through this with her strength intact, _she just had too_.

“ I could come to you with anything. Hell, when my period started it was your room I ran into screaming. ” _and wasn’t that a hilarious memory_. “ And you promised me, you promised that there would never be secrets between us. That we wouldn’t follow in dad’s footsteps and have secrets. ” 

And with that sentence she can finally see the weight settle on the shoulders of her previously stoic brother, he’d sat there and listened to her words with a calm that he had always emitted. But now she brought up their promise, she can see him flinch. As though she’d just stabbed him in the heart and she guessed she kinda did. They were only teenagers when they’d promised that, when they’d sworn that they would never follow in their father's footsteps and that they’d never hide anything from each other. _Something they’d clearly not stuck too_.

“ When you went missing I was out of my fucking mind. Wondering if you’d left me just like dad did, were you hurt, were you okay. And then you came back, but the brother I knew never did. In his place was a stranger. What hurt Sammy is you acted as though nothing was wrong, as though you missing for weeks on end was just, a fucking vacation. Did you know I'd spent nights curled up on your bed crying my eyes out, sometimes Paul had to drag me off it and into the shower to get me to go to school, because I was so damn worried about you. ” 

_Breathe in, breathe out_. She was repeating the mantra in her head, a way to keep the tears at bay as her hands shook against the cup in her hands. She didn’t realize how truly painful this would be. Laying her heart out on the table between her and the male she had always looked up too.

“ I shrugged off your weird behavior as just, you needed space and you’d find me when you wanted to talk. But you never did, you started blatantly lying to me, and I wasn’t blind Sammy, I saw it. And it hurt, you had never lied to me and here you were, not even trying to hide that fact. ” her head shakes as she sips at the drink in her hands. “ I needed my big brother and you weren’t there. And then mom was keeping secrets and I knew it was your secret. _I knew that you trusted her over me_. ” 

She stands, her feet needing to move as she starts to pace softly. Her mind whirling as she worked on sorting out what she wanted to say, she could see the pain in his eyes and a small part of her was glad. Glad to see it burning there as maybe he would finally understand the pain she had been in for the last six years, how her brother abandoning her had hurt.

“ I resigned myself to the fact long ago that I wasn't worthy of finding out the secrets. That you and the council would never tell me, and I'm sort of okay with that. Yes, it hurts to know my brother doesn’t trust me, but I'm okay with it. What truly hurts Sammy, is when I needed you, _you were never there_. ” 

She moves and drags a chair to sit in front of him as she forces him to look at her. She can see the unshed tears shining in her eyes which really didn’t make this easier - for all her pain and anger, he was still her brother. And she hated to see him hurt.

“ I left my number with mom and told her to give it to you, and she told me she did. I had to find out from her that you were married, and when I offered for you to come to see me. To be there on the day I started my future - Emily too, you weren’t there. And that hurt Sammy, it hurt so god damn fucking much and it’s why I’m hurt. You didn’t let me be there for you, _but you also weren’t there for me_ . ” _breathe in, breathe out_. “ I could have lived with the secrets Sammy, I'd have gotten over the fact you couldn’t tell me anything, all I wanted, all I needed, was my big brother. _But you took that opportunity away from me._ You let the secrets destroy our siblinghood. ”

At this point, Noelle could feel the tears on her cheeks and she no longer cared. Her pain was out there now, her true hurt at her brother and she had finally admitted it. She didn’t care for the secrets, she was just pissed he let the secrets destroy them. That he pushed her out, and shut that door and didn’t give her the chance to find out why. She moves then, needing space as she works to put her armor back in place, her tiredness starting to leak in even more as she wipes away the proof of her tears.

“ I needed you so many times, god when I got my internship at the biggest hospital in Boston, all I wanted to do was ring you and then I remembered. You weren’t on the other end of the phone, _and hadn’t been for years_. ” she spits, a small dreg of anger seeping in that she pulls back. “ Hell, I don't even know your wife, what little sister doesn’t know their big brother's wife. ”

She was amazed that Sam had stayed silent during her whole - **_rant_**. But she guessed he could see that she needed to get this out, or maybe Jared had warned him when she was busying yawning her head off. Either way, she was glad, because she knew if he’d interrupted at any point. She’d have given in to her anger once more, and that wouldn’t have solved anything. _They’d still be walking a tightrope of hatred_.

“ Last month I told you, you weren’t my family anymore and that was a lie. _You are my big brother and I love you_. But I've reached out, for six years now, and you’ve turned down every single one. So if you want this to work, if you want to repair our relationship, the ball is in your court. ”

She drinks the last of the tea as she starts to pace to the door, she couldn’t handle hearing him speak. She knew it was time he sat and thought about everything, just as she had been doing obsessively since she moved back to town. Yes, she understood Jared when he said that she’d been hurt, and she believed him. But she had to voice how she was hurt, she had to get it out. As she needed closure, something she’d not gotten six years ago. So yeah if Sam decided that he didn’t want to repair their relationship, she had gotten to say what she needed too.

“ I... I've never told Daryl that I have a big brother. I guess I was being petty. If you didn’t want to invite me to your wedding and have me in your life, then you weren’t going to be in mine. ” she shrugs, almost unapologetically. As even now she was still wondering if she was going to have to retcon that lie and admit, yeah she had a big brother.

She’s about to walk out the door when she feels it, her brother's hand on her shoulder and she’s pulled into his chest. His scent wrapping around her in a cocoon and she clings desperately to the shirt he’s wearing as the tears once more come in full force, the shirt growing wet as she simply stood there letting him hold her. Letting him comfort her for the first time in six years. A small part of her, far back inside of her mind admitted that this was something she’d missed. She might not forgive him just yet, but this, this she can allow for now and she’ll just blame the fact she was tired. _Yeah, that worked_.

“ I know I have a lot of shit to fix and you’re right to be angry with me, I deserve it. I fucked up, I fucked up my main task in life and that was being your big brother. Your protector. ” his voice is rough and Noelle can hear the tears he was holding back. Something she didn’t expect, not from Sam. “ I have no fucking right to ask this ‘Elle, because I am the asshole. I let secrets come between us and for that I will spend the rest of my life apologizing. But let me try, _one day at a time_ , let me learn who you are now, let me get to know the new you and please let me earn back the title of big brother. As right now, it’s not mine, I don't deserve it. ”

“ Don’t expect my forgiveness – ”

“ _I don’t want it_ – ” Sam states, cutting her off, his arms pulling her back so he can stare her in the eye. “ After the shit, I pulled, the way I hurt you in the most selfish of ways, the least I can do is work to earn it back. Even if it takes the next ten years **_!_ **”

“ Okay. One day at a time. ”

Did she expect things to go back to how they were before - no she really didn’t. Because she wasn’t that girl anymore, that girl had died the moment she crossed over the La Push border. But she also wasn’t so shallow that she wouldn’t offer him the chance to earn her forgiveness back, because he was right. He didn’t deserve the title of big brother, and if he truly wanted it back then he had to earn it. Something she’d let him do - but she knew it wouldn’t erase her anger. Not just yet, that was a fire that would burn for a while.

Was it petty of her to think like that, she didn’t think so. It was like she’d told Sue, there was no trust when there were secrets. But what she’d told Sam was true also - she could have lived with them. If it meant she got at least something with her big brother, as long as she still had the one person who had been there for her when it was revealed she was a bastard.

She didn’t trust him anymore, she couldn’t forgive him. But she also couldn’t live with the anger and the hate anymore, it was turning her into someone she didn’t know. Someone who held everyone in her life at arm's length, someone who’d never allowed a friend to get too close for fear that one day, they would abandon her. It was still something she thought of with Daryl every day, even with her wedding so close. But it was what had happened as she was reborn of the ashes of her brother's actions.

“ Why haven’t you contacted me in the last month **_?_ ** ” She asks softly. As yeah she had been a bitch at the hospital but still. “ Since that day at the hospital **_?_ ** ”

“ Believe it or not, Jared told me that he’d kick my ass if I went to you before you were ready **_!_ ** ”

For some reason, the image of Jared kicking her brother's ass has her laughing, her laughter kinda shaky given she had previously been crying but it’s a welcome relief from the weight that had settled on her chest. She couldn’t even complain that Jared had caused some more distance in the past month. As she truly hadn’t been ready to see Sam, not till now. Not till she’d found the strength to leave all her pain out in the open.

She extracts herself from Sam’s arms and nods at him softly as she continues out the door and over to Jared. His soft smile welcomed as he guided her into the car and climbed in quietly. She’s thankful he doesn’t ask about the tears still staining her face, something she’d thought he would have done but it seemed she was still learning who the true Jared was. Something he was showing her with each action he made.

“ Did that help **_?_ ** ”

A snort is her only answer as she wonders that herself, her eyes trained on the passing scenery.

“ The balls in his court now on whether he keeps his word. I’ve made my move and yeah it helped to let go of some of the pain, but the anger is still there. And i’m not sure when I can let that go. ”

Jared doesn’t say anything else and for that she is thankful, she was tired, a bone-deep tired that was seeping into every fiber and making her want to do nothing more than curl up in a ball and sleep for a very long time. Instead, she focuses on the trees as a way to keep herself awake and focusing on something. Apprehension was in her gut as she wasn’t sure if she believed hers and her brother's relationship was able to be fixed, or if he’d keep to his word.

She wanted to hope with everything she had, that it was. _But she wasn’t sure_.

As they pull up to the house she notices Daryl sitting on the front steps with a mug in his hand and sighs, well it seemed her past was about to come crashing into her present. She looks over at Jared to see him sizing Daryl up and for some reason, it made her highly amused. If it came down to it, Jared would win in a fight. Daryl was tall and lean, whereas Jared was tall and muscular. He had the odds in his favor - _even someone like her could see it_.

Climbing from the car as Jared parks it, she feels Daryl’s arms wrap around her and sighs softly. Welcoming the easy embrace he offered her, the weight of the conversation she just had, had begun to settle on her and she wasn’t sure how much longer she’d remain standing.

“ Daryl, this is Jared … an old friend **_!_ ** ” She comments softly waving her hand in Jared’s direction. “ He wouldn’t let me drive given how tired I was. ”

Well, it was half true.

She watches with apprehension as Jared reaches out a hand and shakes Daryl’s, his easy smile was on his face and she had to give him mental points that he was at least trying to be nice. But then she remembered his words of how he’d shake her fiance's hands if he was the reason she was able to move on to the pain and she realized he was doing just that. Something that makes her snort once more.

“ So how do you two know each other **_?_ ** ” Daryl asks, confusion on his face and Noelle feels bad for him, for the lies she’d told in regards to La Push.

“ We went to school together. ” Jared lies fluidly “ We managed to catch up a little last night in the midst of all the chaos. ”

Noelle isn't ashamed to admit that in that moment she completely zoned out, her head resting against the curve of Daryl’s shoulder as she barely listens to Jared selling the lie that they were old school friends before moving on to ask Daryl about his car. The ease in which Jared spoke to her fiance was scary, given he hung out with Paul, but it was there and Noelle did appreciate that he was trying. Even if she’d never completely understand what the hell had been born between her and Jared.

She blinks as she notes Daryl had gone inside leaving her with Jared who chuckles noting she was lost before pulling her into a small hug, promising that if she needed any more early morning lifts then she knew who to call. Her mouth opens to point out that she didn’t have his number but he chooses that moment to swipe her phone from her pocket and enter it. Her head shaking as she would never understand that, the ease to which he basically picked her pockets.

Speaking their goodbyes she moves to head into the house, her feet heavy with the urge to sleep, yet as she reaches the porch, she stops turning to look back at Jared. She knew she should have asked how he was getting home, but she decided against it. He offered to drive her so his return was on his head. Instead, she found her lips parting and asking something she didn’t even realize she needed the answer too.

“ Jared. Do I really want to know the secret you guys are keeping **_?_ ** Or is it better to just stay blind and work on fixing things with Sam **?** ”

And there it was, whilst she had admitted she could live with the secret. Part of her knew that one day she needed to know it, to finally let go of the true cause of the distance between them. And yet she was scared, scared to know what it was that had truly driven them apart.

“ If I’m honest – ” he starts turning back to face her before cutting off, his face showing he was thinking of the words. “ You deserve to know, it’s probably the only way you and Sam can move past the issues you have. But the downside is it might not help you let go of your anger. Not in the way you want too. _Especially not with Paul_. ” 

She frowns at his words, they almost seemed guarded as though there was a shit ton more he wasn’t telling her, the secret, and it made her truly wonder if she wanted to know. She wanted to let go of the anger, she wanted to move on from it. So yeah maybe knowing would help - but here was Jared who was wrapped up in the same secret telling her that it wouldn’t help.

 _Honestly, what the fuck was she supposed to do_ **?**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **_A / N : Reviews are love and highly appreciated. Please and thank you_** \- Wow, Noelle had a lot to get off her chest. This was a heavy chapter for sure. Hope you enjoyed it. Also pretty sure this is the first chapter thats got the most dialogue in it. Wow shocker.


	11. It’s just a kick in the nuts.

**\- La Push, Washington -**

**\- Noelle -**

She’d heard once that once you let go of the shit that weighed you down - you then felt free. And if Noelle was honest with herself, she didn’t feel free, she felt more confused than she had been before she’d unloaded on her brother. Everyone's words ran through her mind and far more often than not she ended up obsessing over what Jared said. About how her anger would forever be tied to the secret, especially when it came to Paul and despite how she told herself she didn’t care - how many times she screamed at herself -  _ it became all that she thought of _ .

Things were made harder by the fact she was working in La Push to help them with their understaffed issues - after Jared had said what he did and left she’d called Dr. Cullen and he’d agreed that she should stay. So grabbing something to eat she’d passed out for a solid eighteen hours and at seven the next morning, she headed to the tribal hospital. And yet as she’d crossed over the boundary line between Forks and tribal land - all she could think of was Jared's words.

As much as she didn’t want too, once more she couldn’t stop thinking about what the secret could be. It reminded her of eighteen years old her who had done the same thing, spent days on end wondering what it was her brother was keeping from her. When she was younger she had thought it was drugs - but now she was older and knew the damage of them, she knew it wasn’t that. No, it was something else, it was something intense.  _ And she didn’t know what _ .

In the past three days that she’d been working at the tribal hospital she had slowly met the others who hung out with Jared and her brother and she could officially say that yeah it wasn’t a gang, and it wasn’t drugs and all the other rumors that had been flying around when she was younger. They were all too calm and sophisticated for that, some of them carried a childish youth about them still.  _ Something that drugs would have stolen from them _ .

She truly hated that once more her mind was consumed with what the secret could be - especially after she’d told Sam that she could have lived with whatever it was. Yet all her thoughts showed that she really couldn’t. She was inquisitive by nature and thus having it there in the background, lingering like a bad smell was driving her insane and she wanted to figure it out.  _ No matter how much she mentally shouted at herself to leave it alone _ .

Billy Black didn’t help either - when he’d come by the hospital during her ‘second’ shift - she’d noted the way he watched her. His wise dark eyes tearing her every action apart as though she was some intense mystery that he was working to figure out. She’d been nice to him, of course, he was the chief and she was still Quileute and thus she had to respect the chief of her people. But the downside was that he had full permission to watch her.

It wouldn’t be too annoying if it wasn’t for the fact he’d been around when she was talking to Sue about her dislike of Cullen. The elder Black’s lips upturning with a smirk that showed he knew far more than he was letting on. Hell his words of ‘it’s like that for our people’ was something that Noelle didn’t even understand. How was it like that for their people - Dr. Cullen was just a man that freaked her out.  _ There was nothing more to it _ .

There couldn’t be anything else to it. And yet, it became something else for her mind to obsess about, and honestly, at this point, she was going to go insane.

_ Annoying fucking Quileute males _ , she thinks wryly as she shakes her head to clear her thoughts she focuses on the task at hand, her actions routine as she sorts through the gauze in her hand and sets it onto it’s assigned shelves. Doing inventory was something that helped to keep her busy but gave her way too much time to think about things that she didn’t want to think about.

“How’re things going with your brother ? ” Sue asks softly from beside her.

Oh yeah, the newest development in Noelle’s daily routine - the fact that her brother met her every day for her lunch break. She was surprised to see him there and had almost turned him down till she remembered that she’d promised that she would let him try and work on their relationship. So she had to let him try. At first, it had been awkward as the two found their footing on how to proceed.

But Sam for his tenacity had fought through it and soon the two were talking with ease - _not sibling ease_ , but of two strangers catching up. They had kept the conversations light at first, talking about their jobs. Noelle at the hospital and Sam with his construction business. From there they had decided to venture into the conversations about their other halves. And yeah Noelle wasn’t blind to see the small flinch Sam had made when she mentioned Daryl but he was trying.

_ It was strange _ .

Even stranger when he’d appeared the second day and they’d repeated the process, this time venturing into Noelle telling funny stories of her time in college. And getting more than a few disapproving looks as she told Sam of some of the wilder stuff she had done. She was glossing over most of it, mostly as she didn’t want the reminder that she’d gone through college and life without him for the last six years. But he never brought it up, he simply listened and asked questions in the right places.

So he was earning points - but still nowhere near getting her forgiveness.

“ It’s – ” she stops as she figures out how exactly she’s going to word it. “ It’s different. I mean I get that he’s trying and I am all for letting him. But I don’t know, after six years it seems almost weird for us to be talking about the shit we do. ” 

“ It’s understandable Noelle. Sam wasn’t there for this happening so it’s almost like he doesn’t deserve to know. ” 

Moments like this, Noelle was reminded that Sue was a mom. She could see it in certain things but it was the way she was able to give advice or know exactly what someone meant with their words that truly showed that yeah she was far wiser than she let on. But at this moment, Noelle was glad for it as she wasn’t sure she even knew the right words to use in regards to what was going on with her brother.

“ Yeah but it’s more than that. It’s like, I’m scared to let him in and see what he’s missed as I also don’t want to hurt him. I don’t want to throw the reminders in his face that he wasn’t there at the end of the phone listening to my college escapades. I don’t know it’s all confusing – ” 

Her hand comes up to remove her hair from its ponytail for something to do as she fiddles with the brown locks for a moment. Her eyes staring intently at the floor as she tries to work on the words to speak. When it came to her and Sam, she didn’t want others to truly know what was happening.  _ Jared did _ , as he came to take her home every night after her shift, and the two talked but with Sue, she was almost an outsider. As nasty as it sounded to give her that title.

“ I just don’t want any more pain between us. The secret is bad enough without all the pain and anger that I’ve been storing for the last six years. It doesn’t do anything but keep us at arm's length. ” She shrugs as though it answered everything.

Her eyes then drag up to look at Sue and she can see the contemplation on her face, as though working through everything that Noelle said. It reminded her of something Jared had teased, about how since Noelle had come home, everyone was reevaluating the damage of secrets. She had laughed it off as Jared once more being her cheerleader - and yet here it was on an Elder’s face. As easy to read as a book.

Sue doesn’t say anything else and Noelle finishes what she’s doing before setting off to do her rounds, losing herself in the easy presence of her patients and allowing their worries to replace hers for the time being. It was easier to concentrate on her patients than it was the problems inside of her head.

_ God knows that was a cesspool on its own thanks to her obsessive thoughts _ .

For the next few hours, she does just that before smiling as Sue tells her to go for lunch - she can already feel the anticipation brewing as to whether Sam would come and meet her again. And what would they talk about this time, Noelle’s studies? It was a tricky situation the two of them were in,  _ navigating six years of separation _ . But if he was willing - so was she. Grabbing her bags she heads towards the doors, her steps far lighter than the first time she walked into the tribal hospital.

She sighs as she sees Paul stood there with her brother and Jared, the two other males looking between the two of them as though it was an amusing tennis match and they were wondering who was going to win. She should have known that he’d pop back up, that he wouldn’t back down no matter how much she wanted him too. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to see him, it was that she was still confused. Were these lingering feelings she felt because they didn’t get closure, did she still love him, or was something else at play. And she knew, deep down inside of her tattered and bruised heart that she couldn’t figure it out with him around.

_ Plus it wasn’t fair to Daryl _ .

Whenever Paul was in her vicinity - all rational thought left her mind. And for a small period of time, she couldn’t help but think about him only. Everything else just slipped out of her mind and that meant the man who loved her with everything he was. And it wasn’t fair - it was almost as though she was being unfaithful to him and she hated the feeling, hated the way it burned inside of her with a healthy dose of shame and guilt. She was already keeping secrets, she didn’t want to add to the list.

“ Are we ready  **_?_ ** ” she asks, looking over to Sam and Jared. Blatantly ignoring Paul, or at least trying too.

“ Noelle – ”

Of course, it’s never that easy to ignore Paul. The way he said her name sent a jolt of electricity through her veins and she gnashed her teeth together to keep the moan that threatened to spill out contained. She was sick of giving him the power to control her, if it wasn’t the way she reacted to him, then it was the betrayal of her own body whenever he was near.

_ Paul still had control over her _ . Whether she liked it or not.

“ Yes Paul – ” she starts, her voice sickly sweet and completely fake in it’s greeting. “ What can I do for you  **_?_ ** ” 

She watches as he works to gather his words, her eyes trailing over his frame to see he was wearing a shirt that was basically acting like a second skin as well as a deep blue colored pair of jeans that looked as though they were painted on. Honestly, Paul Lahote was not good for her health, as him standing there, looking like he was, had her heart skipping beats before running off in a race she wasn’t sure she’d survive. It wasn’t healthy and if she was honest it was annoying, as it brought up the unresolved issues once more. 

“ Can we talk  **_?_ ** ” He asks softly and she groans at the rich husky undertones of his voice. For fuck sake, this man was walking sex and it was going to fucking kill her. How could a simple fucking question sound like that?

“ No. ” she growls as she forces herself to keep hold of her self control.  _ Her dignity _ . “ We have lunch to get too so if you don’t mind ” 

She turns, set to walk off before looking back over at him. She wasn’t sure why she did, it was as though she was drawn by some force she didn’t understand. A force that was controlling not only her actions of constantly wanting to look at him, but the way she did, as though she wanted nothing more than to fall into bed with him, and have him hold her and love her. It was fucking weird.  _ And a really, really bad thing _ .

“ I still love you, Noelle – ”

His words elicit a gasp from her, one that rattles down to her soul as she can feel the cold hard truth ringing in each syllable. Yet as it settles on her shoulders like a weight she can also feel the fire of her anger once more consume her, traveling through her veins and leaving her burning. Energy gearing up her muscles as her body grows rigid and her lips upturn in a sneer. She couldn’t fucking believe him, what right did he have to say that to her face after everything he did.

Sizing him up for a moment, she can’t help but decide she detests the height difference. She was barely five and a half foot and here he stood well over 6 foot and it meant that truly getting her point across was going to be difficult. Yet it doesn’t stop her previous sneer from shifting to a smirk and with a swiftness she didn’t even know she possessed but came from years of kickboxing training, she brings her leg back before slamming her foot upwards. A sick sort of pleasure crossing over her face as Paul drops to his knees with a look of pain blooming over his face. 

If she couldn’t reach his face,  _ kicking him in the balls was the next best thing _ .

Behind her, she can hear the gasps of horror from both her brother and Jared and she did minutely feel bad for them, watching as their friend was kneed in his balls. But she found she also didn’t care, her anger was ruling her actions and it’s what brings her forward, her hand framing his jaw and forcing Paul to look at her. Idly she notes how good his heat feels beneath her hands and despite the pain in his eyes, how intense they are as they burn into hers. And it takes everything, everything to not think about it.

“ I don’t care if you love me, Paul. You fucking left me and basically called me a pale-faced whore. Yeah sleeping with you was worth it for one more night. But as I’ve said, I belong to someone else – ” she growls as her hazel eyes burn into his obsidian ones. “ Now leave me the fuck alone  **_!_ ** ”

She goes to move but feels a heated hand circle her wrist, glancing down at it she looks back up to Paul. His pain written clearly on his face and she only growls more. Bringing her fist back she rears it forward and into his jaw, a sickening crack meeting her own ears as pain surges through her arm. Her nerves felt as though they were on fire from the intensity. And yet despite the now intense pain that was flooding her system - it was worth the pain on Paul’s face. The shock that she’d dare lay her hands on him twice. Even if his face somehow resembled a brick fucking wall, seeing that look was something she had never thought would be put there by here.

_ Yeah, it was worth what was probably a broken hand _ .

It was almost comical that she had hitten him. Given how innocent she had been when they were last together. He was the fighter, and she was the one who looked the other way. And yeah since she had been back she showed him that she had a fire, _but those were just words_. And everyone knew that words could be excused as being in a bad mood. But actions, those were something that lasted and made an impression and she had done just that. She had made one hell of an impression.

Sure she was now suffering from an immense amount of pain that was shooting up her arm from her hand and it was slowly going numb with each passing second. But she had shown Paul that she was no longer that innocent flower that he once knew, she had thorns and would cut him if he got too close.

“ I will repeat it one more time – ” she growls, the pain allowing that to be done with ease. “ I. am. not. yours. anymore  **_!_ ** ” 

Settled she had finally gotten the last word into her ex, she turned her concentration on her newest injury. She looks down and notices her hand was taking on a purple tinge, swelling increasing with each passing second. Gritting her teeth she pushes down on the injury -  _ assessing _ . A hiss flutters off her lips as the pain flares and she realizes she probably has some broken metacarpals which are a bad thing, she would have some extensive recovery ahead of her if that was the case.  _ Which was just fucking fantastic _ .

“ So is someone going to take me to the other hospital  **_?_ ** ” she asks shyly as she looks over at the shocked faces of Sam and Jared.


	12. Well this just got awkward.

**\- Forks, Washington -**

**\- Noelle -**

If someone had asked her a month ago, if she ever saw herself sitting in the ER nursing a broken hand after kicking her ex in the balls and hitting him in the face. She would have gladly laughed in your face and booked you the first room in an insane asylum. Now though, now she had to admit that is just what she did. Whilst she wanted to laugh, she knew she couldn’t because well it wasn’t all that funny. Yeah hitting Paul had felt great in theory, but almost as soon as she’d gotten out of his sight - a pang of _intense guilt_ _ had settled in _ . 

_ And that just sucked _ .

She didn’t regret what she had done, hitting him had felt good as it got her anger out. But it was more the fact, that was how she acted. The intensity of her actions were what had caused the guilt to settle in, as yeah both of them walked away with pain. Her pain was in her hand, and Paul was left cupping the family jewels after she basically tried to pocket them up inside of his body. But it was the fact she actually hit him, the fact she was willing to hit him.

Paul had once brought out the best in her, everyone had always said it. But now, now it was as though he brought out all the bad sides of her. Her anger, her bitchiness, and her willingness to literally punch someone in the face. It wasn’t healthy and nor was it a good thing. And as she sat there waiting for a doctor to look over her hand, all she could think about was the intense pain in his eyes. It was more than the fact of her kicking him, there was something else lingering under the surface.

Which of course brought her right back to the secret. And well she had wasted way too much time thinking - more like obsessing - over that to last her about five lifetimes. Honestly, at this rate, she was going to be the one checking into the insane asylum for an extended holiday. A thought that makes her snort and earns the attention of her brother. She smirks softly, shaking her head as an answer to his unspoken question.

_ Yeah, probably best he doesn’t learn his sister is losing her mind _ .

Instead, she focuses on waiting for the doctor - she’d already had all of her scans and now it was time to see what the damage was. She knew if it required surgery then Daryl was the one who would be doing it. And well didn’t that provide a big fucking problem considering that her brother was currently sitting vigil at her bedside - and Daryl had no fucking idea she even had a brother. Her actions had caused her to land in a right big pile of stinking crazy and she wasn’t even sure if she could dig her way out.

Not without admitting to her fiance that she’d been lying to him the whole six years he has known her. And she knew Daryl, he didn’t stand for lies which meant that everyone was bad off for her. It was the only reason she had yet to open up about her brother, open up about her true past here in Forks and La Push. Because Daryl wouldn’t understand and more than likely he wouldn’t forgive her.

She was between a rock and a hard place. As she loved Daryl, she really did. But she wasn’t sure if she wanted him to know about her life in La Push. For some reason, she felt this insane need to protect it and stop anyone from finding out about it. It was her secret life, it was her life. And that alone was enough to mess her up. Or was it just the painkillers messing with her head,  _ god she hoped it was just the painkillers _ . Now that was something she could quite happily believe.

She fails at containing her groan as Dr. Cullen breezes in but she covers it with a smile - hoping he’d buy that she was groaning over the pain. Out of her peripheral, she can see Jared working to bury the smirk on his face and she shakes her head. Only he would find some amusement in the fact she hated her boss, after all, she had admitted it to him and listened as he laughed for five minutes straight down the phone. So yeah if anyone understood the fact that right now she really wished she was anywhere but this hospital bed as his patient - it was Jared.

“ Nurse Uley, this is a welcome surprise – ” And there he goes with that bloody velvety annoying as shit voice. “ May I ask what happened **_?_ ** ” 

“ I punched my ex in the face. Turns out he’s more of a hard-headed asshole than I originally thought **_?_ ** ” 

Apparently painkillers fuck up her verbal filter, _who knew_ **_?_**.

“ Ah, I see – ” 

She can’t contain her snort at his words and brings her hand up to cover her soft laughter as she looks at him. Because really - how could he see the fact that apparently, her ex had a brick wall for a jaw, and here she was nursing the injuries that came from hitting it. No, he really didn't see - because she didn’t. Not clearly anyway but that, that she knew was the painkillers fault. As was the fact that she couldn’t stop laughing for some reason. A fact made apparent by the weird looks being thrown her way by the three males in the room.  _ God today was just not her day _ .

Her bosses hands on her injured hand were a welcome relief even if it felt like he was a literal walking freezer and she barely listens as he explains that she had a small fracture and thus didn’t need surgery -  _ blessedly. _ All she was looking at was 6-8 weeks of recovery time. Which also meant time off work as she’d have to rest the injured appendage. Yeah, that was going to be fun - more time to be stuck inside of her own head obsessing over what the hell was going on in her hometown.

She guessed there was wedding planning - but the thought of doing any of that had a pure shot of terror floating through her veins as she remembered the first excursion into Port Angeles and yeah she’d rather go punch Paul in the face again. Punching him and injuring her hand was far more appealing than having to deal with those preppy wedding people. And that's saying something if she’d willingly put herself in pain. Or she was losing her mind finally.

God, she just wanted to sleep,  _ for a month _ .

“ That dude is weird – ” She utters when Dr. Cullen leaves and her brother turns to look at her, a frown marring his features.

“ What do you mean  **_?_ ** ” 

“ Not sure – ” she sighs softly, shaking her head to clear it of its fogginess. “ There’s just something about him that puts me on edge. His voice is annoying as shit and he looks at me as though he knows this big secret and I’m too stupid not to know it. It’s bloody annoying and I don’t know. I just feel weird around him,  _ really weird _ . ” 

It also seemed she babbles when high on painkillers. Now that one she did know, she had once broken her arm when she was six and babbled that she thought Santa Claus was a secret pedophile and all kids were idiots to sit on his lap.  _ The fact she’d done that in the middle of a Port Angeles shop hadn’t helped either _ . Nor had it helped Sam, as their mother thought it was his fault she’d said that. The two ended up grounded for about a month and safe to say Noelle had avoided strong painkillers since.

That was till now. Her hazel eyes trail over to the clock on the wall, counting the minutes till she could leave. Her hand was all bandaged but she’d been told to wait an hour till the worst of the painkillers were out of her system. Apparently they were worried she’d do something stupid from  _ how high of a dose she had _ . Well wasn't that just peachy, it was their fault she practically overdosed. _And the only stupid thing she’d do was babble_. 

_ Which yeah in itself was a stupid thing _ .

She turns her head back to look at her brother and notes with mild curiosity that he never commented on what she said about Dr. Cullen and briefly she wonders if he thinks she’s lost her mind. Or was remembering the whole Santa debacle too and figured she was just babbling. But she can see by Jared’s face that there was something more to it, she had gotten close to something and they were worried. A tidbit of information that she files away for another day. 

Soon Jared pulls her brother from his seat and comments that they were going to get her some food, a confused frown pulls down her features till she notices that Daryl was heading this way. And at that moment she’s highly thankful for Jared - for helping to ease a situation that would have been far too confusing. As he looks her way she shoots him a grateful smile to which he just nods, his eyes shining with mirth that was all him. And fitting, given she had to explain her hand to her fiance as well.  _ Yeah, this really wasn’t her day _ .

“ Hey, babe. ” 

Her smile is forced - she can tell - as Daryl kisses her on the forehead softly before settling into the chair that Jared had just vacated. Her tongue darting out to wet her drying lips as she stares intently at her fiance. His differences all but apparent now that she’d been hanging around russet skinned people so much. He fit in Forks, his pale skin, light hair, and eyes showed that Forks was his home.  _ She was different _ . Whilst she wasn’t as dark as her brother, she was enough to show that she was native in some way.

And it was these differences that she’d ignored before. Just like she does now as she shakes her head, stopping her thoughts from running away from her and into dangerous territory. For she knew if she allowed it, her mind would conjure one person in Daryl’s place, and given she was tending to a broken hand from that certain person - she really didn’t want to go there. Ever.  _ Not today at least _ .

“ What happened **_?_ ** ” 

His question is poised so innocently that she momentarily feels bad - for what she couldn’t exactly name so instead she just sighs softly as she shrugs, the action causing pain to flare down to her hand causing her to shuffle. Adjusting so her new splint rests in her lap and out of danger she brings her hazel eyes up to Daryl’s.

“ Punched my ex in the face. My posture was bad so yeah, a fractured hand for me. ” 

Well, it seemed she was going for the ‘ _ rip the bandaid _ ’ off approach. But it wasn’t her words she was focusing on, instead, it was every facial tic of Daryl’s face. Wondering what he thought to the words she had just spoken - wanting to catch every question before he speaks it so she can determine her answers. She knew her reasoning - it was to protect her past. Once more wanting to keep those secrets on lockdown. 

Was she as bad as her brother for wanting that - to want to keep that to herself? 

“ Well, that is – ” He doesn’t finish his sentence and Noelle truly can’t blame him.

“ Yeah – ” 

She looks down as she fiddles with a random string of fabric as her teeth sink into the flesh of her bottom lip. She hated this, hated the way she felt around Daryl. He knew of her ex, of Paul, but he didn’t know all the details. And of course, there was the fact that her big brother that Daryl didn’t know about was in the hospital and could return to the room at any point. It left her feeling hollow - as though she was trying to separate two sides of herself and no matter what they kept crashing into each other and slowly hollowing her out.

It was tiring.

Her skin prickles with awareness to the heat of someone's gaze and it has her dragging her eyes up to the doorway of her private room, her hazel eyes widening as she sees the reason for the feeling. Her eyes locking on Paul’s obsidian ones and for a moment she honestly thinks she’s hallucinating - because why the fuck was he here. Hadn’t he gotten the message with the kick to the balls and punch to the face. But clearly he hadn’t, something so blatantly obvious by the way he walks - no stalks towards her would be a more apt description.

Her eyes briefly flash towards Daryl and then back again and yeah even she registers the way the panic was starting to rush through her system, her eyes wide and her mouth open in a half gasp. Of all fucking times for him to come to her, he had to choose right now. She didn’t even care that he seemed to have ignored her words - she was more bothered about the fact that her ex and her fiance were now in the same room. And she was literally - stuck in the middle.

_ Oh, where was Jared when she needed him _ .

“ Erm – ”

_ Yeah real elegant Noelle, time to remember the English language _ . 

“ What are you doing here Paul  **_?_ ** ” Okay that was better. She had to give herself props that her panic wasn’t registering in her voice.

“ Who is this babe  **_?_ ** ” 

Oh fuck, could the ground just open up and swallow her right now. She’d much appreciate it. Her hazel eyes track from Paul to Daryl and back again as though she was witnessing the most amusing tennis match when in reality she was seeing her past come crashing headfirst into her future and all she was waiting for was the trainwreck. Because surely that was the only way this was going to end. In one big fuck off disaster as nothing could be good about this,  _ not one bit. _

“ Daryl. This is the ex I hit in the face – ” she sighs softly waving her good hand in Paul’s direction. “ Paul. This is Dr. Daryl Moore. My fiance – ” 

She bites her lip as she watches Paul’s face intently - she remembers all the other instances of when her fiance had been mentioned. Plus all the times she had thrown Daryl’s name in his face really did not add up to anything good and as Paul turns his glare towards her, she knows without a doubt she deserves it. Her whole frame shrinking back into the pillows as though she could escape the intensity of the look Paul was throwing her. She’d mentioned the doctor thing in hopes that he wouldn’t lose his cool. A low blow she knew, _ but it wasn’t exactly her first of the day _ .

“ Pleasure to meet you. ” 

And there was Daryl - the sweetheart who would be nice to the fucking devil if he really tried hard. Noelle watches with apprehension as Daryl extends his hand, her breathing stopping altogether as Paul’s russet one wraps around it and honestly she thinks she’s on the border of having a heart attack. Her heartbeat was erratic in her chest as she clenched her good hand, her nails digging into the flesh of her palm and it’s enough to center her, to keep her grounded in the middle of a situation that was slowly spiraling far out of her control. 

“ Do you mind if I have a moment alone with Noelle – ” Paul comments smoothly.

“ Of course. ” 

As Daryl looks towards her, she’s sure her own face was coated in panic and fear, her eyes pleading with him to not leave her alone. And yet all the signs are ignored as her fiance leans forward pressing another kiss to her forehead and softly utters that he’d be outside. The door clicking shut rings out loudly and announces that yeah, her lovely other half had just left her alone with the most volatile person she had ever known.

_ Thanks, Daryl, love you too _ , She thinks wryly.

“ My life is one fucked up soap opera at the moment – ” she mutters as she leans her head back. Her internal monologue falling off her lips with ease.

As a rich chuckle rings out around her she snaps her eyes back to the obsidian ones that she really wished to pluck from his damn face. They were the everlasting mystery she could never untangle. His eyes shining with so many emotions she truly could get lost trying to decipher them all - but right now they were shining with pain, mirth, and something so intense that it steals her breath.

Yeah,  _ definitely plucking them from his head _ .

“ What do you want Paul  **_?_ ** ” she reiterates her previous question as she looks over to him. “ I mean, didn’t you get the message earlier about me not wanting to see you. Ever **_?_ ** ” 

“ Your fiance seems like a nice guy **_!_ ** ” 

Had those words fallen off anyone else's lips - she’d have believed them. But given this was Paul and well he never did what people expected of him. She knew to be wary, to not fully trust any syllable that slipped off that honeyed tongue. 

“ Well that is why I'm marrying him – ” she drawls. “ Now. What the fuck do you want **_?_ ** ” 

Seconds seem to drip by as she stares at him - meeting his intense gaze as she waits for whatever words he was going to say. He’d already pissed her off once today and she was fully prepared for it happening again. As even just sitting there watching him, she could feel all those bad parts of herself come rushing to the forefront. Her anger, her sarcasm, all of it. Paul Lahote truly did bring the worst out in her.

“ I came to say sorry – ” 

_ Well, she was not expecting that. _


	13. Sometimes apologies come too late.

**\- Forks, Washington -**

**\- Noelle -**

Some things in life could truly knock you and leave you gasping for air -  _ minutes, hours, days _ after the impact had struck. Your mind played constant catch up as it worked around the shock and worked to put itself back together. And for Noelle, it was the words that had left Paul’s mouth. She had been apprehensive about being trapped in a room with him, especially after he was the reason she had broken her hand on his face. But he had ended up doing something, that she was still trying to comprehend,  _ over twenty-four hours later _ .

_ He’d apologised. Willingly _ .

There were a few things that Noelle truly knew about Paul Lahote - and one of them was that he didn’t offer apologies for the sake of offering them. He was a man who knew just what he was saying, just how he was pissing someone off and therefore an apology wasn’t needed.  _ He didn’t care for them _ , didn’t care for the way someone could fake them with relative ease. So the fact that he had just offered Noelle one so carelessly - without any preamble or her hitting him again.

She knew he meant every word. Add in the fact he had simply apologised and left the room also answered that yeah he had willingly come and spoke those words and wanted nothing in return. He had wanted her to hear them and nothing more. And she was pretty sure that was what had truly struck her stupid for over twenty-four hours.  _ Paul always had an ulterior motive _ \- he was always aiming for something and yet he’d done that one without even wanting anything from her.

That her mind could comprehend.  _ Though a small part of her told her not to fall for the manipulation _ \- he had apologised for his treatment of her since she returned home. But nothing about their past. And it was why the small voice at the back of her mind was telling her that was his ulterior motive, he wanted her to come to him and talk about that. Like she had done with Sam. And whilst slithers of betrayal burned through her at that prospect. She also knew it was what needed to happen.

If she truly wanted to move on, if she truly wanted to build a life with Daryl, with her family. Then she had to let go of the past, she had to let go of the lies and she sure as shit had to let go of Paul. 

Yet every time she thought of doing just that, a burst of pain shot through her heart and would leave her gasping for breath. It was as though something was ripping her heart out and it was becoming highly annoying, she didn’t know what that pain was. It had started as she watched Paul walk away from her the day before, and it was only growing in intensity every time she thought of shutting Paul out of her life.

“ Fuck sake, get yourself under control Uley  **_!_ ** ” 

Her words shatter the silence that had gathered inside of her empty kitchen, a shuddering breath passing over her lips as eyes drag up towards the clock on the wall. She had only been awake for an hour and already she felt as though she was losing her damn mind. First, she’d woke up alone, remnants of her argument with Daryl hanging in the air, and then it was moving around with a broken hand.

And now instead of thinking about how to fix things with her fiance,  _ she was thinking about her ex _ .

Though if she was honest, thinking about Paul was easier. Instead of trying to explain to Daryl their complicated relationship. Something he had questioned from the moment she could go home till the moment they’d headed to bed and Noelle just didn’t have the answers he sought. She didn’t know what was happening with her and Paul - she never did. All she knew was that she was drowning in a pool of confusion and there was no way she could swim,  _ not with only half the answers _ .

She also knew that Daryl was getting closer and closer to realising that Noelle was lying, it had been in the way he’d looked between Sam and herself as she was leaving. In the way, his questions about Paul had gotten more and more invasive and she knew that powderkeg was due to blow soon. And given the current state she was in, she wasn’t sure if she’d survive it mentally. But it was all her fault -  _ she’d told the lies _ , she was the one who didn’t know how to stay away from her past. And poor Daryl was paying the price for her mistakes.

A harsh knock to the door has her jumping about five feet in the air, a hiss fluttering out of her mouth as her hand harshly bangs onto the wooden table. Her shout ‘ _ to come in _ ’ sounding wobbly even to her ears and as she notes Jared walking in with his usual breezy presence, she can’t help the glare that she sends his way, the corner of her eyes pulled down in pain taking away the usual intensity of the look.

“ You okay  **_?_ ** ” 

If she wasn’t worried about breaking her hand again hitting him - she really would have smacked that damn smile off Jared’s lips. Almost as though he knew she wasn’t and also knew what the hell was playing through her mind. After all, she wouldn’t be surprised if her turmoil was writing plainly on her face for anyone to read. 

“ Oh yeah I’m peaches and cream  **_!_ ** ” she retorts, packing sarcasm into the old saying she used to use when she was five years old.

The remembrance of it has Jared laughing loudly, the sound rocketing off her walls and again she has to tamper down the urge to slap that damn optimism off his face. Honestly, was he injecting sunshine into his ass every day, because if he was,  _ she fucking wanted some _ . At this rate she was going to have to become friends with his girl Kim, simply so the woman could write her a handbook on how the hell to deal with Jared. Preferably with a cliff notes version and full permission to hit him in the balls if it came to it.  _ Because honestly _ .

Shaking her head, she grabs her coffee cup and walks over to the counter, her hands busy refilling her cup as she hears the other chair scrape along the floor. Every one of Jared’s actions sounds loud to her ears and she knows he’s doing it for her benefit more than anything else. After refilling her coffee, she sighs before reaching into the cupboard above her for the whiskey bottle that was hidden and adds a gratuitous addition to her cup.  _ She had a feeling to get through this day, she was going to need it. _

She was just grateful she had already mastered using only her non-dominant hand. Waiting a moment she grabs another cup for Jared and pours him some coffee before heading over to the table, both cups balanced precariously in her small hand.

“ So I take it Daryl isn’t happy still  **_?_ ** ” 

Jared asks as he reaches forward, taking the cups from her and settling them down on the oak table. His fingers pushing her tainted one towards where she had previously been seated. A small frown line marrying his forehead as though he can smell the whiskey tainting the coffee. It was just another random thing that she couldn’t explain so instead she shrugs it off and settles back into the wooden chair. Her head shaking and causing loose curls to flip over her shoulders.

“ He’s getting closer to learning I’ve lied – ” she mutters, hand lifting the mug to her lips and she cringes as the bitter twinge of coffee and whiskey makes its way down her throat. “ He wouldn’t stop asking me about Paul last night and I didn't have the answers. Which meant we argued and he left this morning about three hours before his scheduled shift. ” 

Her sigh is almost as bitter as her coffee as she lifts hazel eyes to look towards Jared, his head bowed and eyes focused on her as he gives her his complete attention. Listening to the worries burning their way through her - it was something she was learning about Jared. Once you were his friend, he would do anything for you. It’s now why she could see he had once been so loyal to her brother. It was who Jared was.  _ He gave his all in everything _ , and that included friendship.

“ I just – ” her tongue darts out to wet her anxious lips. “ I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do now. If I tell him everything, guaranteed, he’s going to fucking leave me. He hates liars and I'm the biggest one he knows. ” 

She jumps as she hears a small growl, wide hazel eyes cutting over to Jared to see his face contorted in something she’s never seen. But almost as quick as the look and the growl cross his face, they disappear and in its place is the usual sunny disposition that comes with Jared. Noelle knew if she lingered on it too much - she really would lose her damn mind. So instead she focuses on the coffee in her hand, allowing the bitter taste to cool her anxiety.

“ These lies aren't your fault Elle – ” Jared starts. “ You did what you could with the remnants of your life. And I’m sorry but if Daryl can’t see that, then just like Paul, he really doesn’t fucking deserve you. ” 

“ I am literally living a fucking bad soap opera right now – ” 

She snorts as she remembers saying those words to Paul and honestly it was bad if she was speaking them twice. Because when did this become her life, when did she have to choose whether to keep lying or tell the truth, when did she have to choose whether to save her impending marriage or her relationship with her brother. The life she had built was slowly unravelling around her and she was stood in the middle watching it all fall apart and not knowing how the fucking hell she was supposed to put it back together.

_ She was drowning _ .

Shifting her seat, she leans over pressing herself into Jared’s side and sighs as his arm wraps around her steadily, his warm heat pulling her into a deep cocoon and just like that day in the tribal hospital. She can feel the tears once more bubbling to the surface, the sting of them worse than the whiskey she had previously been drinking. Self hate burning within her because when the fuck was she this weak, _ she had survived far worse _ .

Her life had already fallen apart once and she’d pulled herself together, so why was it so different this time. That was a rhetorical question as she knew why, her first life was slowly patching itself back together and now her second life - the lie she’d been living - was the one unravelling and she wasn’t sure what to do.  _ The girl in the mirror was a stranger _ , a stranger with her eyes and Noelle didn't know who she was anymore.

Bringing her only good hand up, she wipes viciously at the tears that were slowly tracking down her face and breathes a deep sigh, slowly but surely pulling all the pieces of herself back together. Wearily she notes that as she had a mini breakdown - again - Jared simply sits there,  _ offering her a quiet strength as he holds her _ . Something she knew, was more than she could ever voice to him. He had slowly become the only thing stopping her from drowning in this bullshit she had found herself in.

The sound of her phone alerting her to a message in the living room calls her attention and she slowly extracts herself from Jared’s arms and stands up heading towards the offending piece of technology. Every part of her feeling as though she was heading towards the gallows -  _ her sentence riding on what that message read _ . After all, it was Daryl’s message tone. Her fingers shake as she opens it, her breath exhaling on a huge ‘whoosh’ as she greedily drinks in his words, her tears once more burning in her eyes.

_ Working late - don’t wait up _ .

It was ominous in its wording, nothing out of the ordinary but Noelle read it for what it really was - he was avoiding her. It hurts, cut deep down under her defences and she drops down to the couch, her hand running through her hair roughly as she robotically drags oxygen in and out of her lungs. He was pissed - majorly. No matter how many times they’d argued before, he always came home after his shift to work it out. And she knew it wasn’t an accident, some understaffed bullshit or excuse. He was to originally finish at five and to work late like that, he had requested an extra shift.  _ An extra shift away from her _ .

Realising her hands were still shaking where she held her phone, she drops it to the couch cushion beside her before lifting her head, her eyes instantly finding Jared’s where he leans in the doorway between the living room and kitchen. Blowing out a sigh, she says something she never expected to say again, and definitely not in the tone she does -  _ the tone of a little girl _ .

“ I need my momma – ” 

It was a shock to her but Jared doesn’t seem to be too surprised, as he pushes out of his casual lean and walks towards her. Grabbing her phone from the cushion she watches as he places it in his pocket, before leaning down and lifting her effortlessly into his large arms, her head falling against his chest as she concentrates on the sound of his heart. Allowing the soothing beat to fight away the feeling of despair that was starting to settle into her stomach.

_ She really had fucked things up _ .

It’s a thought that follows her as Jared carries her from the house effortlessly, his hands having once again swiped her keys - this time from the bowl near the front door. His frame barely jostles her as he locks up the house and then deposits her in the passenger seat of her Camaro. Her head falling against the glass gently as she watches him adjust the driver's seat out of her peripheral. A part of her knows she was being selfish - asking for more than their friendship demanded. Yet she’s always aware that he didn’t complain, and had pretty much kidnapped her to compile with her sentence. 

So was she being selfish,  _ truly _ ?

With Jared, she wasn’t, but she knew she was being selfish with Daryl. One text message and she was all but running away. Yes, he had run first but instead of standing strong and being there when he came home, she was running back to her mother with her figurative tail between her legs. And no matter how much she told herself it was so her momma could help her understand the mess she had gotten herself in. There was also that part of her that was changing ‘coward’ loudly in the back of her head. The part that knew that yeah, she was running away. She was running as fast as she could. But strangely she was running to the one place she truly felt at home - La Push.

“ You going to be okay Elle  **_?_ ** ” 

How could he put so much compassion in one bloody sentence?

“ No Jare, I really don’t think ‘okay’ even covers me right now  **_!_ ** ” 

There is a resignation in her voice, as though she had consigned herself to this fate and was simply going to allow it to drown her. And she fucking hated it, she hated how bloody weak she sounded and was currently acting. It wasn’t who she was, it wasn’t who she had been for a long time and she knew it would take a fucking revelation to find the Noelle Uley who had returned to Forks over a month ago. Well, more like a fucking miracle.

She’s thankful Jared decides not to comment again and instead uses the time to sort her thoughts, her mind running over the moment she first left La Push to her return. Her mind dissecting every little thing, tearing it apart and putting it back together. Questions and problems forming with ease, as she knew, her momma would want details and as such, she needed them as well. She needed to sort out her wayward thoughts otherwise she wouldn’t be able to fight.

_ And she had to fight _ .

Not just for whatever is happening with Daryl, but she had to fight for herself. She had to fight to get out of this deep hole she seemed to be digging deeper and deeper every single day. Yes, Jared was right, she had been playing a game she didn’t know the rules of - she had been playing with the only pieces she could. And whilst it was shitty in the long run, it was all she could have done. But to survive the game she knew was still playing out, she had to be strong. She couldn’t afford to fall apart, even with everything around her threatening to fucking crumble to dust.

The best things in life weren’t easy .

Yet despite the pep talk, she was giving herself, the moment she notes her momma’s house - the woman in question standing on the porch. She feels all of it bleeding away, instead to be replaced with the little girl who needed the comfort of a mother to put her back together again. And as the car pulls closer she all but throws herself from it, not even caring that Jared hadn’t parked the damn thing. Her body launching straight into her mother’s arms as the tears carve streams down her face.

“ Oh, momma I’ve fucked up big time  **_!_ ** ” 

So maybe she could afford to be weak for _ just a little longer _ .


	14. The porch of doom.

**\- La Push, Washington -**

**\- Noelle -**

There was one downside to running to your parents when you had a problem - they wanted to know everything. Every little detail that you had previously ignored or pretended didn’t exist, they wanted to know every emotion and thought that had passed through your system. And more often than not, they were already partial to one side of the spectrum. Which in Alison Uley’s case,  _ meant she was highly partial to Paul _ . She always had been and well she didn’t exactly hide her thoughts regarding him. And it’s with that blatant honesty that Noelle realises she never had, even after Paul all but shattered her out on the porch - Alison was still in his corner.

But with well-practised patience that came with raising two children -  _ she listened _ . She listened as Noelle laid everything out on that small kitchen table, from the lies she told, to the feelings Paul invoked within her, all the way to the argument that morning that had caused the distance between the engaged couple. Noelle laid it all out with ease, as her fingers idly traced the kitchen table that was covered in marks and memories of her childhood. 

From the deep niche near her elbow that Sam had caused when he and Jared were roughhousing, to the ink marks located in the middle from the time Noelle thought it would be fun to draw on the table instead of paper -  _ she was five at the time _ . There were also deep stains from spilt drinks that counted the many family dinners that always got out of hand with jokes and laughter. And of course, there was the deep dent located on the left side, from where Noelle had thrown a chair into the wood when she learnt her brother was missing.

The table carried many memories, _ and now held her pain _ .

Hazel eyed gaze looks up towards her mother's face as the elder woman sits stoically across from her, delicate hands framing a cup of coffee that Noelle knew had long since gone cold. She wanted to shake her mother, to hear the words that the other was going to speak but again her mother had the patience of a saint. She had needed it when it came to raising her and Sam, they weren’t exactly the easiest kids. So with every part of her feeling as though she had pure adrenaline burning through her veins, she waits. Waits to know what her mother thinks, desperation burning to hear the words she wants to cling to.

“ Well, you have got yourself in a tizzy – ” Her mother drawls softly.

_ Well no fucking shit _ , she thinks wryly but knows its better to keep those words trapped behind her teeth. She may have been twenty-four but that wouldn’t stop her mother from clacking her around the head for her words. The thought alone has a soft snort escaping her and a small tinge of humour shining in her eyes.

“ What do I do momma  **_?_ ** ” Her voice was almost foreign to her ears given the silence she’d been sat within. “ About Daryl. And … about Paul – ” 

“ Well it’s simple really ‘Ellie bear – ” her mother croons softly. “  _ Both of them are fighting for you _ . And you’re here playing catch up. Paul still loves you, dear, it’s clear in the way he can’t seem to stay away from you, and Daryl, he can sense the history and wants to force you to choose him. ” 

_ What the fuck was her mother smoking _ , her thoughts run rampant as she hears those words. How the hell were both of them fighting for her - she was with Daryl. She was getting married in four months - potentially - and Paul knew that. Hell Noelle had practically hit it into his face, so how could her mother say that. Everyone knew it,  _ or so she had thought _ .

“ Now before you go off and spout that I'm a crazy old woman who doesn’t know what she's speaking. Think about it,  _ Paul outright told you he still loved you _ , reacted poorly to news of you getting married. And now we both know that boy, he wears his heart below many walls and yet he spoke them to you. ” Her mother’s eyes lock on Noelle’s and she feels trapped beneath such a heated gaze. “ Now that boy, Daryl spent all night questioning you on Paul. He believed you about your lie regarding Jared without a single thought. Yet Paul, the moment you said he was an ex and hit him,  _ which forgive me is not normal for you _ , that boy got on his high horse and wanted to know every detail. Meaning he sees Paul as the true threat for your heart. So yes ‘Ellie bear, they are fighting a war for your heart and it is up to you now, to decide which one wins. ” 

Her mother drags in a sigh before lifting the cup of cold coffee to her lips and takes a mouthful, deftly covering the cringe at the taste of the cold bitter liquid. Noelle lifts her own cup, but isn’t able to hide the cringe the same way as her mother and it shows on her face as she puts the cup back down, pushing it away with nimble fingers.

“ It’s not going to be easy ‘Ellie bear, but sometimes our hearts will lead us in the right direction. Sometimes our head. ” her mother sighs. “ You ran away from your heart before. Don’t do it this time – ” 

“ I didn’t – ” 

Her mother's hand raising cuts her off and Noelle honestly feels like a petulant teenager, being punished for doing something without her mother's permission. _ It was both welcoming and highly annoying _ . So instead she closes her mouth, eyes lowered to the table as her fingers once more start tracking over old memories.

“  _ Noelle May Uley _ , you and your brother both suffer from the affliction that when you give your heart, you give it completely. And seven years ago you gave it to Paul,  _ even when Sammy told you not too _ . Now the boy sure as hell didn’t correctly end things, meaning you never got your heart back from his hands. You have only given Daryl half of that precious gift, the rest resides with Paul and we both know it. ” 

_ God she hated parents - and how they were always right _ . 

“ I know  **_!_ ** ” 

And there it was, the truth she hadn’t wanted to admit even to herself. That Paul did still own half her heart, the fact they hadn’t gotten proper closure meant she hadn’t been able to reclaim it from his hands. The tentative hold she had on her emotions were shrouded in the knowledge that yes,  _ she still loved him even after six years _ . Her confusion only being coloured from the fact she didn’t know if it was because of the fact they didn’t get closure - or because she had always been ‘ _ his _ ’.

It’s with that, that she realises that must have been what Daryl saw when he’d been asking her about Paul. He had seen as clear as day that her problems with the male had never been resolved. Plus she had always said that her ‘ex’ had broken her in a way she didn’t know if she’d ever recover. So to see the ex in question, and realise she couldn’t answer the questions truthfully.  _ It led to Daryl being jealous _ .

“ There ya go little one. Now you’re getting it  **_!_ ** ” her mother croons softly, her hand wrapping softly around Noelle’s shoulder before pulling her into a soft hug. “ Now how about you go lay down and get some rest. Ease that troubled mind of yours. ” 

She doesn’t argue and instead stands silently from her chair, her hands wrapping around her mother in a silent hug as she breathes in deeply the smell that had always been able to soothe her. Despite the fact she now felt more confused than when she’d originally come home - her mother had still helped in a way that only a parent could. Gifting a soft smile she didn’t truly feel, she trudges down the long hallway towards the bedrooms. Her eyes cutting to the closed door of her brothers with a soft snort.

Pushing open the door to the room of her childhood, she can’t help the soft laugh as the purple walls immediately jump out at her. The four walls covered in a mixture of posters and paintings in a clash that didn’t make sense to adult eyes but had to young eyes it would seem. She really was beginning to question her teenage taste, because to her it just looked like a chaotic mess. From the walls, to the desk situated in the corner that was covered in papers as well as wooden figurines -  _ carved by Sammy _ \- a light coating of dust fluttering on the surface of each possession.

It was home and yet it also felt so foreign to her, as though she couldn’t fathom the adult she was now with the girl she had been inside these four walls. Memories clung to every surface and the emotions within her betrayed each and every one of them. It did nothing to ease the things her mother had dug up - if anything it just drove the knife home harder. It didn’t take much for her look towards anything in the room and recall an image featuring Paul. The bed filled with nought but sinful touches and painful tears of the last time she had actually been in this room. 

“ Fuck  **_!_ ** ” 

With a small twist of her body, she drops heavily down on the bed, her face buried in the sheets. Faintly she can smell the lingering pine and musk scent of Paul clinging to them, layered beneath the musty smell that came from misuse. Tears gather in the corner of her eyes as the weight of everything finally crashes into her, her body bowing against the pain. She had a lot to think upon, she knew that. Both from her own actions as well as her mother's words and yet she was tired - emotionally drained from the past month of fighting. Both herself, and her heart.

_ She wanted it over with _ .

Sleep didn’t come easy, her eyes having witnessed the night hours and glaring sunrise from where she laid cocooned within the blankets decorated upon her childhood bed. Eyes dragging over walls she’d decorated with a teenage rebellion. Yet the easy-going memories that had been easy to recall did nothing to quell the storm that raged inside of her. To quell the thoughts that played havoc as night gave way to day. Even the two hours of sleep she’d managed did nothing to ease the tension in her system. She feared at this point that nothing would - not till she truly figured out where her head, and her heart lay. In the future,  _ or in the hands of her past _ .

Crawling from her bed, she stretches out her tired muscles before wandering over to the bag of clothes Jared had dropped off an hour after leaving her in mothers arms - a soft promise that it had been Kim that gathered them - and gathers up some yoga pants and a simple tank top. She was still hiding, so she didn’t see the need to dress up. Why should her outside look better than the war that was raging on the inside, especially when she knew the war was playing out in her eyes for anyone to read.

Grabbing a quick shower she brushes out her hair leaving it hanging down her back as eyes drink in the view outside of her window. The light rainfall is almost a mirrored reflection of her own mind. It was almost poetic - she had always felt at home in La Push and here the weather was crying for her. If she had the energy she’d put more thought into it,  _ as it was she was too tired _ . Her feet carrying her from the room with nothing more than muscle memory.

She passes her mother's room and notes the soft humming from within as her mother gets ready for work and it brings a soft smile to her face. Another flood of memories filtering in on the many times that humming would soothe her distress and make her feel as though everything was right in the world. But right now it made nothing but a pang of pain run deep through her heart - because nothing would be right. Daryl hated her, clearly. And she was having way too many confusing thoughts about her ex - an ex that her mother was clearly backing in this war for Noelle’s heart.  _ A war she didn’t even realise was raging till her mother voiced the words _ .

“ I need a bloody day off. ” 

Her muttered reply drifts into the silence of the house as she makes her way into the kitchen, her steps automatic in how she prepares both herself and her mom a cup of coffee. Anything to keep her hands busy and her mind away from the thoughts that still raged within. Setting the coffee on the table, prepared to how her mother likes it, she settles down into the chair she had occupied the night before. Her fingers once more automatically straying to trace the memories carved within the wood.

“ You okay ‘Ellie bear  **_?_ ** ” her mother asks, breezing into the small room. 

“ I will be. I’m going to take the day to think shit through and then decide from there what I’m going to do  **_!_ ** ” 

She had to commend herself how strong her words sounded despite the torrent that raged within, a calculating look from her mother showed that she didn’t believe her. But was at least somewhat grateful that Noelle was trying. One thing she was sure of, is she was sick of being weak. Since coming home she had been nothing but weak - despite the fact that she had built herself a strength in the past six years. It had all come crumbling down around her, with one look inside Paul’s eyes. _ That alone was something she hated _ .

Taking a sip of bitter coffee, she barely notes as her mother moves around getting ready for the day. Her attention is drawn to the window above the sink as she idly watches two birds flying in the sky. Lists forming inside her mind, steps made towards finding the girl she was, the girl she was when she came home. Her mind finally dawning on the realisation that she had spent so long fighting who she was, against who she is. When she should have just merged them together, to find strength from both sides of herself.  _ The girl in the mirror and the girl she was now _ .

“ ‘Ellie bear, someone is here to see you  **_!_ ** ” 

Her mother's voice shakes her from her thoughts once more as she stands up and makes her way towards the front door, confusion colouring her features as she follows her mother out the door and onto the porch. The porch of doom, she idly thinks. Something that becomes even more resolute as she finds Paul stood at the bottom of the steps. An almost replica of that day ten years ago when he shattered her the first time. She can see the secret smile lifting the edge of her mother's lips - her desire showing that she and Paul could work things out.

_ Cheers momma, good to know you’re on my side _ .

“ Have a good day at work momma  **_!_ ** ” 

Words spoken as a parting shot, her mothers laughing filtering out and showing Noelle she realised just what was happening. As she idly listens to her mother get into her car and drive away, her eyes never waver from where they stare into Paul’s obsidian gaze, the edges of which hardened and emitting nothing but anger. Anger Noelle knows he was right to feel - it wasn’t like she had exactly been nice to him every time they’d spoken so far.

“ What do you want Paul  **_?_ ** ” 

_ She really needed to stop asking that question _ .

“ We need to talk ‘Elle  **_!_ ** ” he sighs.

His long gait brought him up the porch steps in two long steps. His large frame stopping just before hers, the heat of his skin washing off his skin and soaking into Noelle’s own like a warm cocoon. The closeness was enough to make her dizzy, his scent soaking into her senses and making her ‘ _ crave _ ’. Crave to get closer, to feel him against her once more. But she knew that was idiotic - nothing more than remnants of a night spent in her childhood bedroom.

“ Can I ask you a question  **_?_ ** ” she breathes quietly. “ And have you give me a true answer, no bullshit  **_!_ ** ” 

His sharp nod is the only assent she has to continue, but it was enough.

“ Do you truly still love me  **_?_ ** ” 

His dark gaze burnt into hers, surprise creasing at the corners as though he couldn’t believe she’d even dared to ask him. But she had too, she had to know if it was real, or nothing more than the idle thoughts of an old woman. And the crazy incarnation of a mind gone fucking insane.

“ Yes. ” 

His one-word answer is like a knife to her heart, the conviction wrapping around the word so easily and it rips a soft sob from her chest.

“ Wha .. how  **_?_ ** ”  _ God help her she wasn’t making any sense _ .

“ I lied all those years ago ‘Elle – ” he growls softly. “ When we stood on this fucking porch I lied when I said there was no future for us. Fucking hell ‘Elle, you’re the only fucking girl for me. You always have been. ” 

“ So why did you tell those fucking lies  **_!_ ** ” 

And there was her anger, she had missed it. But even with tears flowing slowly from her eyes she could feel it burning within her, and escalating off her tongue into the space between them. Her eyes hardening as she eyed him, wondering just why the fuck would he lie. More questions were formed and yet right now she didn’t care -  _ she wanted her fucking answers _ .

“ What the fuck was the intention of ripping out my fucking heart then. Come on Paul, fucking explain it to me  **_?_ ** ” 

“ _I was trying to protect you_ **_!_** ” 

“ Protect me  **_!_ ** ” she growls “ From what. If it’s how much of an asshole you are, fucking hell I knew that when we got together. Did you forget that I stood there many times as you fucking fought to prove your ego? Did you forget that I ignored every fucking warning to stay away from you, because I fucking loved you? So tell me, what the fuck were you protecting me from  **_?_ ** ” 

“ **_From me_** **_!_** ” 

Before she can even register the words between them, he lunges forward. His hands soft against the curve of her jaw as his hands frame her face, his large frame pushing her effortlessly against the house. Heated lips crashed against her own and it was as though a fire had started within her by his hands and lips,  _ threatening to consume her in the flames of desire _ . Her hands coming up to grab blindly at the back of his neck as she bows effortlessly to his actions. Lips returning the heated kiss, the fight for dominance so familiar in its dance that it steals her breath. Nails dig harshly into the flesh beneath them as she loses herself in the feeling of  _ being connected to Paul once more _ .

Yet reality soon crashes upon her, like a bucket of ice water dousing the flames burning within. Blindly she pushes away, her chest heaving as she desperately works to pull oxygen into her deprived lungs. Sidestepping the heated barricade that is Paul’s arms  _ she fights to right her mind _ . To pull it away from the dizzying spell his presence had pulled her into - something she hated he could still do so easily.

“ You can’t do that Paul  **_!_ ** ” Words a whispered plea, begging him to understand.

“ Why not. You can’t tell me you don’t fucking feel anything for me ‘Elle. If you didn’t, you wouldn’t have kissed me back. So who is the liar now  **_!_ ** ” 

“ I am – ” she concedes easily yet the stubbornness remains. “ But for fuck sake Paul, I’m still getting married in four months – ” 

Well, she thinks so.  _ But she wasn’t about to tell Paul that _ .

“ So what – ” he growls, the anger returning to his voice. And with it a sense of normalcy for them both. “ You’re choosing him over me. ” 

“ I... ” 

She cuts off her words as she stares at him. Even the look on his face was enough to show the truth of her mother's words. Paul was fighting for her, and had been since she came back. And even with the smallest indication that she wasn’t choosing him was causing stubbornness to build within him. He had always been that way, ready to fight for what he wanted.  _ And what he wanted was her _ .

“ I don’t know – ” 

His loud curse has her jumping about five feet in the air as she watches him stalk back down the porch steps, his long gait cutting a path across the mud with ease. Her eyes tracking each movement as well as the raw power that seemed to bleed from his body. His hands shaking at his side, tremors that as she stared were slowly spreading all over his frame and for the first time during this whole conversation,  _ Noelle began to fear him _ .

“ How can you fucking choose him, Noelle.  _ Over me _ . ” 

“ Daryl put me back together again – ” she whispers. “ He took the tatters of my heart left behind by you and the secrets and put me back together. ” 

Her words sat between them like a knife, penetrating the tension-filled air. Her arms wrap around her stomach as she eyed him warily, his shaking only intensifying as his obsidian gaze locked her in place. His eyes leaving her naked beneath his glare as he worked to dissect every little thing passing over her face, to find the truth of her words as well as the ones she didn’t dare speak.  _ Words he finds with ease _ . And yet even Noelle knows its only half of the answer he wanted. He hadn’t let her finish - how could she when she was still working to understand everything in her mind.

“ Paul. ” She starts but her words are cut off by deep growls, more animalistic than man which had a shudder of fear running up her spine. Eyes widening as they focus on Paul intently.

And as she watched, time passing slowly between each second, his body seemed to contort in what appeared to be pain. The shaking reaching a crescendo that made his frame almost blur to her tired eyes. Automatically she makes to move forward, her actions borne of the need to care and make up for the pain she seemed to have caused him.  _ The man who held half her heart _ . Yet it was as though her movement was the last straw in control he was barely containing and with disbelief swirling within her, she watches with rapt attention as the man soon gives way to an animal.

Luminescent eyes lock her in place as her whole frame grows taunt, her mouth dropping open in disbelief as she stares deep into those eyes. The animal’s fur was like ash, blowing in the breeze and his sheer size alone was enough to have fear coiling in her stomach - replacing the desire she had felt only moments ago. Her anger quenched in place of something far more severe. If she had feared the man, she definitely  _ feared the animal that now stood in his place _ .

Hazel eyed gaze remains locked on the beast in front of her, out of her periphery she notes the tattered fragments of clothing fluttering to the floor. The fabric swaying against the breeze and it doesn’t take a miracle worker to put those fragments back together and realise they were the cut-offs that had previously clothed Paul’s frame. A shuddered breath flutters past her lips as she feels her body give out beneath her, her knees crashing heavily to the wood of the porch as pain flares up across her legs to gather inside of her veins. Her heartbeat galloping within, propelling the feeling around her body as her skin prickles from the chill that had just settled in the air.

“Oh. Wolf  **_!_ ** ” 

_ Why the fuck was her world always crashing down around her on this bloody porch _ .


	15. Secrets revealed.

**\- La Push, Washington -**

**\- Noelle -**

Three things become abundantly clear as Noelle knelt on her mother's porch, staring straight into the luminescent eyes of the beast before her.  _ The first was _ \- she was going to end up burning her mother's porch, as she really was getting sick of her life falling apart on the damn thing. Secondly, her ex could turn into a motherfucking wolf. And thirdly,  _ she was scared out of her damn mind _ . She was frozen in uncontrolled fear as she simply stared, wondering if she was about to be torn apart.

Her body soon seems to play catch up and she quickly scrambles to her feet, running straight inside her mother's house, the door slamming behind her and the noise rings out in the silence. She doesn’t bother with locking it and instead runs straight into the kitchen, her hands coming up to run through her hand and she barely notes that the pain of her hand doesn’t register. All that registers is the fear that was cinching its way around her heart and causing her heartbeat to run rampant like a hummingbird's wings.

Her feet move in a scattered pattern as she paces from one side of the room to another. Apparently, she had seriously lost her mind, or she was currently lost in the middle of a bad dream - a seriously bad dream. Because men sure as shit didn’t transform into wolves.  _ No, it was absurd _ .

The sound of the front door being pushed open has her spinning, pupils contracting with fear she scampers backwards as she watches her brother, Jared and Paul all stalk into the house.

“ ‘Ellie bear, calm down – ” her brother says softly, the tone rapped in a resonant bass that seemed to echo off the walls and lodge deep inside of her chest.

She blinks once, twice,  _ hell three fucking times _ before letting loose a laugh that even she knew was borderline hysterical. Because really how the fuck was she supposed to calm down. As even despite everything that was now plaguing her - she was also playing catch up. And she knew if Paul was a wolf - then so was her brother and her new best friend.  _ Well apparently _ .

Her head is drawn by a noise to the side and she realises Jared has gotten closer, something that spurns her to slide straight into the corner, placing the wall at her right side but also meaning there was one way to come towards her. And that was at the front - which for some reason gave her the smallest shard of security. Even as she levels a glare on the male.

“ Fuck off  **Fido** , don’t you come anywhere near me  **_!_ ** ” 

Her words seem to stop Jared, amusement crinkling in the corner of his eyes but the emotion is swallowed by the worry that was swimming in his hematite eyes. She didn’t want his fucking worry - she wanted them to kindly fuck off. And allow her to wallow in her fucking denial,  _ in her fear _ .

“ Get out  **_!_ ** ” she growls “Get the fuck away from me. All three of you  **_!_ ** ”

Was she acting a little impulsively - she guessed she was. But she just couldn’t stand them being in front of her. With them stood there, Jared throwing her nothing but worry, Sam looking as though he was going to grab hold of her at any moment. She knew that what she had just seen was real - all of it. She now knew this was the big secret that had been hidden from her for the last six years. This was what had happened to the boys of La Push, they had become the wolves of the stories they’d all heard growing up.

_ And that was something she just did not want to fucking believe _ .

“ Ellie – ” 

“ No Samuel. Fuck off and take Fido and Pluto with you. ” 

So apparently she was just throwing around dog names now -  _ yeah she had officially lost her mind _ .

A sniffle breaks free in the silence as she fights off the tears that wanted to fall, she wouldn’t let them see her weak. Apparently, she could deal with someone with broken bones, she could deal with losing a patient, hell she could nearly break her hand punching her ex in the face -  _ an ex who is apparently a wolf _ \- but seeing said ex turn into a wolf is the tip of the iceberg on what she can handle.

Solace comes as Jared moves back, standing beside Paul near the front door and whilst she realises they are effectively trapping her inside her mother's house. She’s thankful for the space, and using the distraction of Sam turning away, she moves, her feet carrying her quickly across the food as she heads towards the living room. Heated hands nearly catch her and she screams before twisting in the other direction, her spine crashing harshly off the edge of the kitchen table as she spins to look at her brother -  _ her fear clear to see in her eyes _ .

“ No. ” she whispers before finishing her wild scramble into the living room.

She places herself in the furthest corner right next to the bookcase that housed many trinkets and photographs her mother has collected over the years. She was panting from the sprint her heart was currently making and she closes her eyes, listening to her ragged breath as she works to get herself under control.

And yet some sort of instinct makes her snap them back open and level them on her brother.

As though in tune with his every movement, her eyes track as he walks closer, stopping in the fresh hold of the living room, his dark eyes observing her with pain written clearly within them as well as an emotion she didn’t dare name at the moment and a broken sob rips its way out of her chest.  _ God could she restart this day _ .

“ You’re safe ‘Ellie bear – ” her brother croons as though knowing just what she was thinking. “ You’re safe. ” 

“ I’m safe. ” she spits. “ Do fucking tell me what that looks like. As all, I got right now is that I technically committed animal abuse when I hit Pluto over there and oh yeah,  **_he turns into a fucking wolf_ ** . ” 

She wraps her arms around herself tightly as her words settle between them like lead weights, her anger pulsing through every syllable, her fear all but oozing off her skin as she pushes herself back against the drywall, as though she could use it to blend in. To remove herself from the situation at hand.

Her head snaps towards the window as a large crack of thunder rings out and she watches as the rain starts to beat heavily against the road, a snort ringing out as yeah, what better way to punctuate how shit her day was, then adding in a fucking thunderstorm.  _ Just what she needed _ . A shudder rips its way through her as she snaps her head back towards her brother, eyes yawning with a mix of stubbornness and fear.

“ Tell me – ” she pleads. “ Everything  **_!_ ** ”

She blindly remembers that at one point she did scream that she wanted them to get out, yet she can easily see that they weren’t going to leave. So she might as well continue ripping off the bandaid she didn’t know was holding her sanity together. If she was going to go insane, might as well do it with a bang. 

“ No, you’re too scared right now. ”

She can’t help the hysterical laugh that meets her brother's words - the second one of the day - because yeah no shit she was scared. She was pretty sure the tremors wracking her body were a sure as shit sign of her fear.

“ Of course I’m fucking scared brother. My whole world literally just came crashing down around me and monsters became more than a fucking bedtime story. ” she's not blind to the way the word monster makes the three men flinch. “ But you’ve hidden this from me for six years. So now you will tell me the fucking truth. All of it – ”

She expects another rebuttal - told that she didn’t deserve to know. Just like she’d gotten all those years ago but she can see the moment her brother gives in. Watches as his resolve all but crumbles as a grim smile lifts up his lips and he brings a hand to run through his ebony hair. She takes a small slither of sick pleasure in knowing she wasn’t the only one struggling right now.  _ Her brother was as well _ .

As he moves, she notes the way his muscles bulge in his back from how he moves his arm but she also notes the grace of his movements. Her brother wasn’t small by anyone's standards, he stood at well over six feet and yet he moved with an almost inhuman grace. Something that only now makes sense - it wasn’t human. Because her brother wasn’t. He had stopped being one over six years ago -  _ if her guesses were correct _ . He lowers himself to the couch and she watches his every movement as she pushes back against the wall. She didn’t have as much freedom with her brother's new position but this was Sammy, he wouldn’t hurt her. Well, she hoped not.

So instead she listens, listens as her brother's monotonous bass rolls across the living room as he details all the secrets that had been kept from her for the last six years. The storm continues to rage outside the small house as inside her brother weaves a tale of magic and nightmares, from his phase, to Jared’s and Paul’s, through the other members, to imprints and beyond to a vampire war. Right up till the moment that just happened outside their mother’s front door. She listens as the stories are weaved and the day slowly ticks by outside of the window, the storm raging in an almost mirror image of the storm she was feeling inside.

As each syllable rolled like a toffee caress off her brother's lips, she listened, her mind filing away every piece of information in a clinical way. Right now she was almost like a student, listening to a momentous piece of history and wanting nothing more than to devour and learn every piece of information she could. Certain pieces stick out inside of her mind like red flags, begging her to learn more. She wanted - no she needed to know more. She had become really good at knowing when her brother was lying, and if the fact that neither Jared nor Paul would meet her eyes were any indication,  _ there was still something she didn't know _ .

“ Are you sure that’s everything Samuel – ” She croons sarcastically. Calling him straight on his bullshit.

She can see her brother's eyes widen as though surprised she even noted something was amiss, yet her fear had long since abated and what was left in its place was pure unadulterated rage. She now knew what Jared meant about her anger wouldn’t truly be quenched when the secrets came out. And yet, something, a small buried part of her told her that the one that would really set her off. Is the one that they weren’t sharing.

“  _ You’re Paul’s imprint _ . ” Jared supplies softly, all traces of his easy-going nature erased by the stress.

“ And remind me. What the fuck is an imprint  **_?_ ** ”

Her eyes cut between the dark gaze of all three men, daring one of them to answer her question. To voice the words that seemed to catch in their throats. 

“ It’s the wolf’s way of finding its soulmate. It’s perfect equal – ”

If she thought she had heard the peak of crazy, Jared had just toppled it with the weight of those words. Each one seemed to rocket through her heart as her mind supplies her with long-forgotten stories told by Billy Black. Her breath escapes her on a long exhale as eyes roll to stare at the ceiling, hands shaking from where they still rest on her stomach as pain laces it’s way through her heart. The shards shattered by Paul those years ago, now bleeding fresh wounds.

Yet almost as quickly as the pain settles in, anger comes flaring right back to the forefront of her mind and she lowers her head, hazel eyes locking straight onto Paul as she allows her anger to once more burn through her. His obsidian gaze no longer makes her scared,  _ just angry _ .

“ So all this fucking time you’ve know I’m your imprint. And yet you can still call me an outright whore to my face. Lies or not. ”

His small nod has a snarl escaping her and she shoots forward, the urge to hit him once more building up within her and yet before she can reach him, heated arms wrap around her and hold her steady. And at that moment she really hated wolf strength. As whilst her hand was pulsing as though reminding her of what happened last time, she wanted nothing more than to hit Paul -  _ repeatedly _ .

“ You have the fucking audacity to ask me why I choose Daryl. I choose him because at least he fucking wants me. He doesn’t shove me the fuck away and then decide that oh wait, someone else has my play toy so I best  _ lie and say I still love her _ . ”

She was bucking wildly in her brother's arms, each of her actions feral as she screamed the words at Paul. Hoping to hurt him the way she was currently feeling.

“  _ I do fucking love you, Noelle _ . I’ve told you that and I didn’t fucking lie  **_!_ ** ” Paul’s deep timbre rolls over her and wild eyes burn into his anger-filled obsidian. A silent battle for dominance playing out between them. “ I let you go because you fucking deserved to have a life. You had dreams of being a fucking nurse Noelle, so I let you go, I let you go so you could achieve that fucking dream.  _ It killed me to fucking do it but I did it for you _ . ”

“Right – ” she drawls, stilling in her brother's arms. “ And where the fuck was my choice in all of this or did I not deserve to make one on my own future  **_?_ ** ”

She pushes her brother off her as she stalks to the kitchen, her feet silent on the linoleum floor as she runs her hands harshly through her hair before slapping them down on the wood of the kitchen table. She was starting to feel tired, both from the lack of sleep as well as the heavy nature of what she had just found out. The weight of which was starting to seep into her bones and make her realise that what she thought was normal -  _ was no longer true _ . Paul had shattered it all with one simple action.

Her eyes cut over to him and she notes his face was completely unreadable, he still hadn't moved a muscle from where he was leaning with deceptive ease against the front door. His hands trapped behind his hips as his bare chest seemed to glow in the low light emitting from the house. But now as her eyes lock with his, he pushes off the door with that savage grace that she had always known him for, even when they were teenagers.

Inscrutable obsidian eyes locked with hers, he takes a step and then another with that powerful mercurial stride that he makes look as easy as breathing. And at that moment Noelle can feel her stomach drop like lead, taking all the blood in her face with it.

_What had she done_ _?_

Shoving off the table as he prowls toward her with razor intensity, what she can only guess is lupine power crackling around him like sparks. His eyes ignited and flared that luminescent gold she had seen of the wolf and it causes her to stumble backwards.

“Oh, fuck – ” she gasps as the fear once more comes racing through her veins as she continues her blind scramble backwards.

Her back hits against the wood of her previous hiding nook and she hisses as it pulls on the bruise she knew was forming from hitting the table. Yet Paul’s gaze never wavers and she can feel herself bowing under its intensity. Tucking her chin, her fists squeezing as best she could against her side as her eyes clenched closed. A ploy to release her from the ensnarement of those eyes.

She flinches at the touch of warm fingers caressing as light as a breeze over her cheek. A shudder racking her frame as chills raced over her skin like rain, her skin feeling cool in blinding contrast to the fire that seemed to seep from his simple touch. The gentle caress of his hands patiently worked their way between the tight clench of her jaw and chest until they’ve got her jaw cradled in what can only feel like a heated blanket.

" Elle."

That deep whisper wove into the wordless croon. It called to her, reminding her of the many times he had comforted her when they were dating, the times he had fought through her hysteria at her missing brother and calmed down her raging emotions. And with those memories playing out behind her eyes, she submits to the gentle pressure of those big hands.

_ Caring, tender, careful hands _ . Hands that would never hurt her.

Her eyes blink open to see Paul stood before her, his hulking frame bowed so he could look her dead in the eye. Behind him she can idly note her brother and Jared watching intently, the aura of protectiveness burning from them but almost as quick as she notes it, she’s looking back at Paul. Her breath sounding ragged as she drags in each one of his heated exhales, the taste of him blossoming over her tongue. His thumb brushes over her cheek and she cringes as she notices he has caught a wayward tear.

" I’d never hurt you Elle." he croons, his words a vow so intense she can feel the chains of sincerity wrapping themselves around her. Grounding her.

Then he’s standing tall once more, his towering frame once more highlighting how much smaller she was. Her hands shaking blindly but she stares at him. Waiting.

“ I made the choice Elle because I knew what you’d have chosen. You would have chosen me and I wouldn't have been able to give you what you needed. You heard the shit we went through and there was no way I was going to drag you into that. You are the singular most important thing to me. So yeah I nearly killed everything we are, so you got the future you deserve. Even if that future’s not with me. ”

One of his hands lingers on her cheek before he walks away, she brings her hands up to her face, pushing the palm of her hands into her eyes as she works to collect the thoughts that had all disappeared when she was within his hands. Being held by those hands that were soft despite the fire that burned inside of his eyes. That was her Paul -  _ untamed violence but with her, he was always soft _ . Lowering her hands she watches him once more.

“ I get why you did it, ” she whispers in a voice she’s barely certain he hears. But as his gait freezes and every muscle on his back grows taunt. She realises that yeah, he did. “ But you still took my choice away. I chose you a long time ago Paul. But now ...  _ now I choose me _ . ”

The air seemed to crackle with an indescribable emotion as the severity of her words settled between them. Her anger was gone, as was the fear and all that's left was the weeping pain she had been harbouring for the last six years. Because it was true, she had chosen Paul - when everyone told her not too. She had chosen him, she had chosen to hand over her heart. And he hadn’t offered her the same opportunity. He chose for her - but he didn’t choose her .

As though drawn to his every motion, she tracks him as he heads out the house, the door closing behind him with a snap and at that moment she collapses once more to her knees. Her whole body buckling under the weight of everything that had just been revealed. She wished she could find the rewind button and do it all over again - the past few hours, the last six years. She wanted nothing more than a second chance.

A second chance with the man who had just walked out of her childhood house,  _ her bleeding heart clutched firmly within his hand _ .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **A / N : _Reviews are love and highly appreciated. Please and thank you_** _\- Yep safe to say that fiery Noelle woke up. And she wasn’t afraid to let them know it either. So what do you think?_


	16. The aftermath of crazy.

**\- La Push, Washington -**

**\- Noelle -**

Noelle once thought she knew heartbreak, that she had felt the true sting of it settling deep inside of her heart. And yet as she watched Paul walk out of her mother's house, the knowledge of what was truly burning between them weighed down her mind. She realised that she was far from knowing the true sting, what she had felt before was nothing more than a prelude to the pain she was feeling now. And if she was honest, she’d rather feel the pain of six years ago then what she felt now.

The rest of her day had been spent learning every last detail, meeting with Kim and Emily and learning what an imprint was, as well as officially meeting the rest of the pack. Her mother's house acted like some revolving door policy as people walked in and out. Yet she barely heard them all, their sympathy was something she couldn’t stomach. As though they knew that she and Paul were fraying at the edges,  _ that she was an unwanted imprint _ . Yeah, that was something she was still fighting to not acknowledge.

But more than that, there was still one thing weighing heavy on her mind.  **_Daryl_ ** . As much as she managed to completely blank it during the whole conversation, she was still an engaged woman and that didn’t just change in an instant. There was still a man in Forks who she had promised her heart too. Who she had agreed to marry before she learnt that the things of nightmares were real. Before she learnt that the man she worked with - was a bloodsucker.

_ Now she knew why he freaked her out _ .

She honestly didn’t know what the hell she was supposed to do, was she supposed to carry on her life knowing that as far as some magical bond was concerned -  _ Paul was her perfect other half _ . Or was she supposed to go back to Daryl and spend her life always keeping secrets, never able to truly let him inside her walls? Never truly let him inside of her heart. 

“ Sammy. ” 

She whispers the words to the wind as she sits on her mother's back porch, yet she knew her brother would listen. He had informed her about the perks of being a wolf -  _ the pack mind thing was a little creepy _ \- so she knew the words she whispered would be like a shout in his ear. A point proving as he soon appears at her side. His lupine gait having carried him so silently through the house and across the creaky boards of the porch. And she finds herself thankful that Jared had at least pretended to be human in the few times they’d hung out.

“ Ellie bear. ” two words, wrapped around questions he wished to ask and ones she didn’t have the answers too.

“ I need you … I need you to promise you’ll keep Paul away from me. ” God she wished those words didn’t hurt as much as they did to speak. “ I need time to come to terms with everything. With the …  **_thing_ ** . ” 

She couldn’t even speak the word Imprint out loud, she hadn’t been able too even as Emily and Kim explained it to her.  _ As it hurt too much _ , knowing that he had decided to push her away instead of accepting her into his life. She understood his choice, she had wanted to go to Boston and be a nurse, but she had also been accepted into the University of Washington for nursing, so there had always been the option of staying on the reservation.

But Paul had taken her choice away from her, so she was going to stick to what she said. She had chosen him in the past,  _ but now she chose herself _ . She made the choices that she wanted to make. And one of them, was that she needed space from the man who had literally tipped her whole world on its axis. She couldn’t spend time with him knowing what they were. Knowing the connection that burned between them and that he had all but turned away from it.  _ She also couldn’t be around knowing he loved her _ , as that was just something she didn’t know if she was mentally strong enough to handle.

Her plight must be written on her face as her brother nods his agreement without arguing. Her hazel eyes flicker between his dark orbs looking for any sign of a rebuttal but when she doesn’t find any she stands walking back into the house. Bending down, a slight hiss escaping her at the forming bruise on her spine, she picks up her bag and heads towards the front door.

“ Where are you going, Elle  **_?_ ** ” One of the wolves asks, and she wasn’t even bothered to wonder who.

“ Home  **_!_ ** ” 

One word - clipped but filled with an intensity she didn’t want to name. She was running on auto-pilot, worn out to the point of exhaustion by the weight of the day and all she wanted was to be somewhere, anywhere, that didn’t carry the weight of it. So instead she concentrates on putting one foot in front of the other as she heads out the door, across the porch of doom and down to where her car is parked.

“ I’ll drive you – ” Her brother's voice rings out in his soft bass behind her and she shakes her head.

“ I need to be alone Sammy. I need to think without any of you around. ”

It’s only as she's halfway back to Forks does the weight of her words settle on her, and does she truly realise that she had probably just come off as denying the pack, denying her place within it. She knew the weight of her place,  _ Emily had explained it to her after all _ . She was the Alpha’s sister and she was the second in command’s imprint - apparently Paul had taken the place after Jared and Kim had their first child last year. But that just added more stress to her than she wanted to think about, it was a hierarchy that right now she wasn’t strong enough to think on.

Pulling up in front of the house she shared with Daryl, she can see him, standing on the porch and looking so pure it broke her heart, knowing the truth that she could never give him all of her. Not when half of it belonged to someone else. Yet she still gets out of the car and walks over to him, and only once she’s close enough does she allow herself to collapse. Tears carving deep crevices down her face, tears that only grow in intensity as she feels his arms wrap around her and his soothing words break through her pity party to weigh heavy on her soul.

_ She didn’t deserve him _ .

‘

x

‘

She’d never truly noticed before how quick six weeks could pass without your knowledge. Yet for Noelle that was just what had happened. Each day passing before she could even blink, minutes bleeding into hours, hours into days and days into weeks till it had been a month and a half since her whole world crumbled to the floor. Six weeks since she’d seen ‘him’.

She’d love to say that her world was still in one piece but it wasn’t - she and Daryl were constantly circling each other in an awkward show of love and distance. They’d delayed the wedding with excuses that it wasn’t the right time on top of their schedules but she knew deep down that Daryl was aware  _ he was losing more of her with each passing day _ . And he was just trying to hold onto the remnants that still belonged to him, the nights that she’d curl into him and simply cry. Begging him for some sort of comfort, any at all.

Things with her brother were slowly getting better now that there weren't any secrets in the way and she could slowly see why he had put the distance there in the first place. And yeah she’d admit it still hurt that there were some things he’d shoved aside for his duty but with each day they were working through that. Sam had kept his word and they were fixing things, ‘ _ one day at a time _ ’. Daryl was also aware that she had a brother but Sam had handled it like a pro, saying they were estranged and he didn’t blame her for saying she didn’t have one. Words that soothed the bitter sting of the lies and stopped Daryl from blowing out of proportion.

_ She really owed her brother for that one _ .

Jared and she were now even closer as friends - now the furry secret - was out in the open she had since realised he really did try and do the best for her with the options he had. And thus she forgave him easily and he was her way of staying in touch with the pack. He had told her how Sam had managed to alpha order Paul so that her wish was fulfilled which was something that was shocking to them all, apparently, nothing got in the way of an imprint -  _ especially an alpha order _ . And yet because she was the Alpha’s sister, Sam had found a way to do it, either way, _she was glad_. 

As even six weeks later, she wasn’t sure what the hell she was supposed to be doing about Paul. Some nights she wondered if she should just go back to Boston and life she had built there, return to being ignorant of the world she now found herself inside. And yet she knew that would just result in her being a coward, she had already run away once and here she was threatening to do it again. It was absurd but it was a thought that had since settled in her stomach and was festering with every day that passed.

Her head shakes as she looks back down at the patient file in her hand, willing herself to concentrate and leave the thoughts alone till the end of her shift. She had blessedly been allowed to return to work the previous week and despite her first day back being filled with awkwardness regarding her ‘leech’ boss. She found that the mundane routine was just what she needed -  _ it helped to distract her _ .

And yeah she would openly admit that Dr Cullen still freaked her out, but she was glad to know just why he did. Something she’d made aware of to him one day and he’d simply laughed and promised her that she wouldn’t come to any harm by him or his family. It wasn’t exactly reassuring but she’d seen him with his patients, so she knew he wasn’t that much of a cold-blooded killer. Just kinda … dead.

Signing off her name at the end of the file she hands a copy of it into the nurse's station before making her way towards Dr Cullen’s office with the original. Her current patient was a mystery and she figured if anyone could help her figure out why a small girl of three in a town of Forks -  _ was somehow sporting bruises and abnormal blood work _ . It was the resident vampire. Or at least that was the excuse she was using, in reality, she just didn’t want to go home. As going home meant going back to the awkward dance her and Daryl were partaking in and it was draining her more and more each day.

So no, instead of doing that, she’d rather hang out with the vampire. Crazy,  _ even for her but that was how it was _ . Knocking on his door softly, she waits to be allowed entry and heads inside once she hears the words. She meets his topaz eyes and smiles shyly as she notes he was putting his coat on.

“ Sorry, are you heading home  **_?_ ** ”

Stupid fucking question Uley, of course, he is. She growls to her own mental thoughts as she shoots an apologetic glance towards her boss.

“ What is it Noelle, I know you wouldn’t put yourself around me willingly unless it was something serious – ”

How could someone portray so much with one sentence? It was baffling,  _ then again he was old as shit _ . Sighing she hands over the file in her hand and watches his face as he reads it through - a new hobby she had undertaken since learning he was a vampire - yet she found that just like before she didn’t see anything pass over his face. She wondered if it was a vampire thing and yet didn’t have the energy to ask either. She’d reached her limit on how much supernatural stuff she wanted to know.

“ Does the young girl have any parents  **_?_ ** ” His melodic voice worked to bring her from her musings once more.

“ No. She’s unclaimed. Apparently two hikers found her just off the trail on the outskirts of La Push – ” she repeats, remembering the words of the ET’s who had brought her in. “ Why  **_?_ ** ” 

He doesn’t answer and she huffs a little perpetually as she turns and follows his long gait back down the halls of the hospital and towards the room the little girl was inside of. Slipping into the room behind him she shuts the door, leaning her shoulders against it. Her hazel eyes watching the way he seemed to examine the child without waking her from the slumber she was lost in.

_ Fucking supernatural beings _ .

“ You need to call your brother. ” 

Her eyes widen as those words leave Dr Cullen’s lips and she openly stares at him. She was pretty sure she resembled a fish at this point.

“ What is it Carlisle, what’s happening  **_?_ ** ” His true name felt foreign on her tongue but she was trying to exercise the new thing between them by using first names. And she could see that whatever was happening now, was truly freaking the unflappable doctor out.

“ Has your brother informed you of the attacks that have been happening. The true reason you were called to La Push  **_?_ ** ” 

She nods wistfully as she remembers the conversation when she’d been called to La Push to cover at the tribal hospital before everything had happened. Hadn’t been because they were understaffed, but because of a string of vampire attacks. Her brother wanted her safe and the only way he knew that was to get her onto tribal lands. Of course she’d then gone and broken her hand and all that had changed. But Carlisle had understood her brother's worry and hence allowed her to go. Especially given Noelle was Quileute which meant she fell under some treaty - _ or something like that _ . She’d stopped listening at her brother's overprotectiveness.

“ Yeah, it’s why I have a wolf escorting me home everyday  **_!_ ** ” 

A wolf that normally came in the form of Jared or Embry. The only two wolves of the pack that she could stomach to be around for long periods of time as they didn’t look at her with sympathy and worry. Embry was quiet and a little reserved but she found with some prompting that he had one hell of a sense of humour. And after a tough shift, _ it was well appreciated _ .

Carlisle waves her over and shows her a bite mark that had been missed on the back of the young girl's neck, Noelle’s fingers reach out against her own violation and press against the mark. Hissing as she notes that it was cold, far colder than the child's skin.

“ What the fuck is that  **_?_ ** ” she hisses, keeping her voice quiet now she was standing next to the sleeping three-year-old.

Yet what Carlisle tells her is not what she’s expecting and she can feel her stomach roll with unbridled nausea, her eyes flashing from his topaz ones to the sleeping child. A protective burn rushing through her veins at what sick animal would feed off a child, injecting venom into her veins only to pull it out later. It was sick and Noelle wanted nothing more than the monster in question to burn in fucking hell.  _ She was starting to hate leeches with a passion _ .

It’s only then that she truly realises the danger that vampires were, she understood Carlisle was different and yet she knew if he wished for it. He was capable of it too and it just added to the protective cocktail of emotions that were now swirling within her. She hisses softly and Carlisle takes note of her response and moves away from the bed. His hands raised as though he was warding off a feral animal and she guessed in this case - she was. And it was something she couldn’t explain but all she knew was that she couldn't stomach the thought of Carlisle near the child.

Running her fingers through the child's brown curls she brings her phone from her pocket and calls her brother - huffing as she gets his answer machine - and instead dials Embry who answers with his usual cheer. A cheer that soon disappears as she explains what was happening. His promise rang out that he’d bring the pack to the hospital and wanted Carlisle to meet them outside. She didn’t need to ask the vampire standing on the other end of the room,  _ she knew he heard _ .

_ So instead she pockets her phone once more and stares heavily at the child _ .

“ Her bloodwork was sent for testing. You’re going to want to sort that – ” she quips looking over at him. “ If someone finds those abnormalities, they’ll dig into it. And I won't let anything happen to my pack  **_?_ ** ” 

A shimmer of wind has her noting Carlisle was no longer there and she lets out a deep sigh, she didn’t even care that she’d just said the words ‘ _ my pack _ ’ because at this moment they were - they always had been and it was time she stopped denying that. If a vampire was daring to harm children then they were a threat, not only to the vampires living on the outskirts of the town.  _ But also to the people in La Push who were her family _ .

Making sure the child’s vitals were secure she heads out the room, shutting the door silently as she heads to the front of the hospital - thankful it was a night shift and no one would question her. She can identify the tall frames of the Quileute wolves and smiles at them sadly as she walks over.

Her world had changed, this was who she was now.  _ The bridge between vampires and wolves _ .

“ I had to let him come  **_!_ ** ” Her brother states softly as he pulls her into his arms and she knows he’s speaking about Paul. Her eyes found him with ease.

A soft gasp falls off her lips as she notes that he looked as though he hadn’t slept, dark circles weighing under his eyes and his face withdrawn and gaunt as though he hadn’t eaten either. He quite frankly looked like a mess and it pulled at Noelle’s heart and she wanted nothing more than to reach out and pull him into her arms, but she couldn’t.  _ That was something that was still a mess _ .

“ Trust me, I don’t care. All I care about is you guys killing the monster who dared to hurt a fucking child  **_!_ ** ” her growl was evident in her voice - she was spending far too much time with wolves. “ Hell, I'd forgive Paul every infraction if he’s the one to kill the bastard  **_!_ ** ” 

If her brother is shocked at the vehement way she spoke those words, he doesn’t comment. Plus he knew how defensive she could be about children. She had always been that way, especially after finding out she was adopted and she had vowed that nothing should happen to a child.  _ They were innocent in every war _ . She can feel Sam go taunt under her hug and she knows Carlisle was behind them. Extracting herself softly, she turns a sympathetic smile on her features as she knows the vampire must have heard what she said, but she wouldn’t take them back.  _ She couldn’t _ .

“ So what happens now  **_?_ ** ” 


	17. To let go of tomorrows.

**\- La Push, Washington -**

**\- Noelle -**

Nimble fingers grip the ceramic mug in her hand, the heat from the coffee leeching through the crockery and into her fingers as Noelle sits at the kitchen table. Her mind wandered over the conversation she'd had with her brother and Carlisle that previous night, the impact of what it was like to witness the hatred between the two species settling on her shoulders. She had once believed that the hatred was nothing more than a tale in a book and yet she had witnessed it with her own eyes.

Her brother was courteous, remembrance of the fights the two had thought the only true reason he kept his words so cordial. And she figured most of it was to do with her being present. If she hadn’t, then Noelle can only guess that the conversation would have gone a totally different way. With both species vying for control over a situation that was slowly spinning out of control. One she had been powerless to intrude on.

Instead, she’d simply stood leaning into Jared’s side as she allowed his heated skin to fight off the chill of the evening, her mind whirling with different thoughts and emotions as she watched a plan form, fall apart and a new one form in its place. Yet the only thing Noelle could think of was the innocent child who had been pulled into the game of a monster, to be used as nothing more than a plaything for something that wasn’t of this world.

A part of her wished that she still didn’t know about the nightmares that lingered in the shadows - six weeks later and it still wasn’t enough time to come to terms with everything. Nor was it enough time to handle the prospect of it hitting her in the face whilst at work. Because honestly, that was the reason she’d not managed to fall into the bliss of sleep. Why she’d been sitting drinking coffee with a narrow-minded focus as she thought everything through.

She looks towards the doorway as Daryl tiredly makes his way inside, a soft smile thrown in his direction which is soon smothered by a chuckle at his grunt of acknowledgement. He never was the most awake person in the morning, neither of them were, and she enjoyed the familiarity that came with seeing him wearily moving through the kitchen. Her eyes track him, watching each movement as her thoughts run rampant.

“ Are you on shift later  **_?_ ** ” a mundane question, absent the placement it needed in their current predicament.

And yet she had to ask it, since learning that there was a vampire running rampant and harming those that were innocent. She couldn’t help but think of those that she cared for. Most of them were included in the fight against the monster, for they were a different kind - _ but Daryl was innocent _ \- he was someone who didn’t need to be dragged into the war.

Whilst her and Daryl were currently in the most awkward place she’d ever known them to be, she found she still cared for him. He was her friend, beneath the love she harboured for him that was slowly dying with each day. Dying and turning from that of a lover back into that of a friend. She cared for it - it was the reason why she’d resigned herself to a certain fact as Jared had driven her home the night before.  **_She had to let him go_ ** .

She couldn’t hold onto him anymore, it wasn’t fair to him. Not when her heart resided in the chest of another, even if right now she didn’t want to be around him. It wasn’t the imprint that was forcing this decision from her mind, it was the fact that she didn’t deserve the pureness that Daryl exuded. The way he loved her without restraints was not something she deserved - especially when she couldn’t return it.  _ Not anymore _ .

Noelle couldn’t help but wonder if she’d been lying during the whole relationship - for she could recall with ease the way the rest of her relationships had fallen apart when she first moved to Boston.  _ How she would compare everyone to Paul _ . And then Daryl came along, and whilst in the beginning, the comparisons were there, she had allowed him to work his way into her heart. And her love. But now, she couldn’t help but wonder if she’d been lying to him. She had craved the feeling of being close, that much she knew, so maybe that was all it was with Daryl. She loved him, she did, but maybe she just loved the fact of being wanted more.

_ And if that was the case, she was the worst human alive _ .

“ Yeah I'm working the afternoon to midnight shift. ” he murmurs “ You’ve got the night shift right **_?_** ” 

Daryl's Words drag her back to the present conversation and she nods softly. Her eyes cutting over to see he was seated next to her, more alert than when he had walked into the kitchen. She wished he wasn’t, as now he was alert and would be able to read every little thing as it crossed over her face.

“ Yeah, I do. I’m working nights all this week and into next.” 

He nods as her words settle between them and she sighs, lifting the cup to her lips she takes a swig of the bitter coffee as she works through her next words. She had today them, she’d lost count of how many times she’d backed out saying them the last six weeks. Of how long she’d held on to something that she could feel was dying with each day that passed.

“ Daryl. we, we need to talk  **_!_ ** ” 

And there were the words that kill every relationship, ever.

“ I think, i think it's time we stopped lying to ourselves that this isn't the most awkward relationship ever – ” she comments dryly. “ I know things have changed since we came here, and it’s my fault. God it’s all my fault and I wish I could change that, but I can’t. ” 

She doesn’t meet his eyes, for she knew shining in those blue orbs would be understanding. But she didn’t want Daryl’s understanding. She wanted his pain, she wanted his anger because she deserved them. There was no denying that and she’d never deny it. She had used the goodness of the male next to her, for her own selfish reasons.

“ I still care for you Daryl,  _ you’re one of my best friends _ . But I just can't give you the love you deserve. I don’t think I've ever been able to. And it’s time I stop lying to myself and you. It’s time I let you go to find a love that you deserve, that isn’t me  **_!_ ** ” 

She moves them, standing from the table and deposits her cup in the sink before walking back over to him. Lifting her left hand she slips off the engagement ring and with a sigh of resignation she slips it into his palm. Leaning down she presses a gentle kiss to his cheek before turning to walk out the kitchen.

“ I’ll have my stuff out by the end of the week. I’ll erm, figure out somewhere to live. ”

Yeah, she’d not exactly figured out just where she was going to live, but this was Daryl’s house and she wasn't going to intrude on his space any longer. She’d help him cancel the wedding plans, fight to get him the money back the two had spent but she needed to give him the distance. She couldn’t force herself upon him anymore, it wasn’t fair.

None of it was.

“ ‘Elle wait – ”

Daryl’s words have her stopping at the bottom of the stairs and with a soft sigh, she turns to face him. Her hazel eyes locking on his blue and a sob catches in her throat as she sees the understanding she knew would be shining there.

“ Look i can’t say i understand what changed when we came back. But I've always known deep down that you weren’t truly mine.  _ That your heart belonged to another _ but i loved you enough to take what you were willing to give. And I get why you lied about your past, it’s complicated I get that – ” She only just notes the fact he was moving closer. “ As you said, we’re still friends right – ”

She nods as the tears start to fall down her face and he smiles sadly. “ Take the spare room until you get yourself sorted. We’re friends, we’ve always been friends and I'm not an asshole who would see you on the street. ”

“ Daryl, I can't. It’s not fair – ” she argues as her head shakes vehemently. She couldn’t do that to him. Not after practically tearing his heart out and stamping all over his love.

_ God, when did her life become so drastic _ ? Only a few months ago she was wondering what fucking centrepieces to have at her wedding. Now she was arguing between her head and her heart - ending one love whilst another was up in the air. 

“ Look how about this, given you’ve got nights till next week.  _ Use the house to rest and sort yourself out _ , and then next week when you’ve got time, find somewhere else to live. – ” He was bargaining with her, and yet she couldn’t find an argument in return. “ Plus it’ll give us time to sort things out. To air the tension that has been building between us so we can truly return to being friends. And I might be able to help you with this Paul situation.  _ Because yeah I’m not blind Elle, I know he’s the one you truly love _ . ”

She chokes out a heady laugh as she lets the tears fall, her whole frame collapsing against Daryl as he soothes her in his arms. She was thankful there was the potential of saving their friendship but the pain that she had tainted his love was still weighing heavy on her. And she wasn’t sure it would ever go away.

_ But they say you have to let go to move on _ . 

Extracting herself from his arms she comments about going to get some sleep and drags her tired frame up the stairs and into the spare room. She was thankful she’d at least decided to decorate it when they’d moved in, as well as make sure there were blankets on the bed. Blankets she now collapses into as she lets the true limits of her pain release. Loud sobs wracking her body as she lets out all the pain - both for Daryl and for Paul.

Soon she falls into a restless sleep, her mind playing over and twisting every word Daryl had spoken, every word Paul had spoken and when she wakes up just as night starts to settle - she wonders if she’s even loveable. A thought that carries with her through her shower and the routine of getting ready for work. After all it wasn’t too far fetched - Paul had chosen to let her go for her career, Daryl loved her even knowing she couldn’t love him back. But truly, did she deserve love or was she someone who was too tainted.

_ Honestly, she was going to go insane if she thought anymore _ .

Shovelling down the salad Daryl left her, she grabs her keys and heads out. Stopping short as she sees Paul leaning against her car. Against her wishes, she drinks him in and notes in the fledgeling light of the day, she looks even worse than he did that previous night in the car park. The dark circles under his eyes looking foreign on his golden skin, his hair mused as though he’d spent hours running his fingers through it.

But it was his eyes that truly capture Noelle’s attention, and the pain shining within them. She knew her own were probably a mirror image and it was too much. Cutting her eyes down to her feet, she continues down the porch steps, taking the walk towards her car slowly, as though she could extend the time before she was once more in his space.

“ I take it you’re my babysitter for the night – ” she praises herself for how strong she sounds.

It was a compromise she’d made with her brother - she could continue her shifts as long as a wolf was always patrolling behind the hospital. Carlisle had agreed, as well as agreed to switch to nights so he was there as well. To Noelle, it was too much, but she wasn’t about to argue with supernatural beings. After all, she was human, so she didn’t really have any sway. And if it made things easier on her brother and the pack, then she’d do it.

“ No, one of the pups is, I just erm. I need to talk to you – ”

She nods as she finally brings her eyes back to those pain-filled obsidian ones and drags in a soft hiss between her teeth. 

“ About what  **_?_ ** ”

“ About us Elle – ” he sighs softly as he congeals to his true height, her eyes tracing upwards as he does till her head is tilted completely back. Honestly, these wolves were going to give her a constant neck ache. “ Look if you want to just be friends, I’ll do that. And if you want to go ahead and marry your fiance, I will stand idly by and let you do that.  _ It will kill me but I’ll do it _ . ” 

Pearl white teeth sink into the flesh of her bottom lip as she stares at him, his pain like an open book for her to read. But she can also see the conviction in his words - he was willing to once more move aside for her. He was once more willing to break himself for her and she hated it. Hated that because of him originally, they were in this situation.

“ Daryl and I ended things – ” her hand comes up to stop any words he was going to say. “ But that doesn’t mean I’m willing to jump into whatever supernatural thing is between us, Paul. There is too much between us now that we have to navigate. So I don't need a lover, what I need, what I think we both need.  _ Is a friend _ .” 

A shuddering breath flows out of her lips as she manages to hide her insecurities - mostly she didn’t know if Paul would even still love her. He said he did but how could he, it had been six years and she wasn't the girl she was when she left. She wasn’t the girl who he had broken - after all that girl wouldn’t have hit him in the face. But more than that, her dream was still lingering on the edge of her mind, of how unloveable she was. 

And she couldn’t risk giving out her love once more, and for it to turn tainted in its return. Yes, Paul held her heart but she could reserve her love. So a friendship was the safest thing she could offer him right now, it was all she could offer him as she learnt to heal from everything.  _ As the two of them learnt who they were now _ .

“ Okay. Friends it is. ” 

His wide smile was enough to make her regret speaking the words but she manages to keep her control, instead, she reaches into her pocket and tosses him the keys to her car. If he was here he might as well drive her to work and hand her over to the protection of the wolf that was no doubt patrolling around the hospital already. After all her shift started in half an hour.

“ Erm, have you found out anything about the leech  **_?_ ** ” the question is posed with fake innocence wrapped wholly around curiosity and as she watches Paul’s lips twitch, she knows she didn’t hide it well enough. After all, they all witnessed her vehement defence of that little girl last night.

“ Not yet, the fucker is toying with the treaty line and keeps coming and going in both territories. ” A growl was wrapped around his words and Noelle lifted an eyebrow as she hears it, it wasn’t hard to notice he was not a fan of leeches.

“ So what is the  _ coven of death _ doing to help  **_?_ ** ”

It was probably cruel to say that given she was about to work with Carlisle who had been nothing but kind to her, but she’s thankful he’s not the mind reader of his coven. So that gave Noelle the blessing that hopefully, only she and Paul would ever know that she spoke those words. 

“ They’re patrolling their side and right now it’s all we can do – ” his huff is not what she wanted to hear and as his heated hand settles on her thigh, she snaps her eyes towards him. “ Don’t worry ‘Elle, we’ll make sure the leech doesn’t get a hold of any more children. You have our vow,  _ you have my vow _ , on that. ” 

“ I know – ” she breathes, her smaller hand settling over his as she squeezes softly. “ I have more faith in the pack than the coven of death. ” 

It was a ploy to ease the situation, and too soon she sees the hospital appearing through the mirror and she works to collect herself. To slip into nurse mode so she could get through the shift and hopefully not have to come face to face with any more supernatural problems. She could already feel herself itching to see the girl, to make sure she had survived the day and was on her way to recovery -  _ and she still couldn’t explain why she cared so much _ .

As he parks the car in the nurses parking, her eyes cut over to the forest and she blinks as she notes two luminescent eyes staring back at her. A shot of fear runs up her spine before it’s soothed away. She knew she would always be scared of the wolves, but she was starting to come to terms with them. Slowly. Climbing from the car, she waves in a way that was inconspicuous before meeting Paul at the front of the impala.

“ Shay is on patrol. So if you need us, for anything, even if Dr Leech is freaking you out. Just shout at him and we’ll be there. ” 

“ Don’t worry, I’ll be fine. Now go, Shay has my back and I’ve got patients waiting – ” 

Honestly, she had to give herself props for how easy she was faking the fact that she was okay. And even as she watches Paul run off to the forest, she can still feel the remnants of a smile lifting the corner of her lips. Whilst stuff was nowhere near better, she was working on it. She had to let a lot go, including her hate and pain before she could truly enjoy everything.

_ But that wasn’t a fight for today _ .


	18. Fate has other ideas.

**\- Forks, Washington -**

**\- Noelle -**

Night Shifts would forever be the bane of her existence - _the long hours spent doing absolutely nothing_ \- leaving way too much time to think and analyse everything and anything. And in Noelle’s case, it was to over analyze the ending of her relationship and the forming of her friendship with Paul. In the last few hours, she had torn apart every little aspect of it and over critiqued every decision. _It left her feeling empty_ , as though she was still lying to the two men who meant so much to her.

She felt guilty for stringing Daryl along, for ending things the way she did. And more importantly, she felt cruel for accepting his friendship and holding him close. But she wasn’t ready to let him go, _he had become far too important to her_. Whilst her love for him had changed, the friendship she felt for him hadn’t. He had put her back together again _when she was in pieces_ , he had fixed her with his friendship and tried to fix her with his love.

So she would burden her selfishness and allow it to paint her heart if it meant she kept Daryl. _Kept his friendship_.

She sighs as she wanders down the hallways aimlessly, her mind wandering as she routinely fills in charts and checks on the patients. Her hands a warm reprieve from what was ailing them as she offers them a smile and a moment of idle chatter. _Yet her feet carry her without warning_ towards the room holding the small girl. Her eyes drink her in as she checks over every inch of her file. Anting to swallow every tidbit of information that had changed since her last shift.

She was still pale from the bloodloss, her breathing laboured and the mark on her neck stood out like a neon sign. It was heartbreaking to see something so innocent wearing the marks of a world she should never have become a part of. _It caused anger to coil deep in Noelle’s gut_ \- anger at the vampires who had caused the wolves to shift, anger at them for causing other vampires to become interested. She knew it was stupid, it wasn’t their fault and yet she couldn’t help but blame them. If they hadn’t made this place their home, _maybe none of this would have happened_.

Maybe her life would have been the dream she’d had so long ago. Where life was different and her first love and his friends didn’t turn into huge ass wolves. Where they didn’t have to fight to protect their lands from threats that no human could fight. _Only them_ . It was something that Noelle had spent too much time thinking on, devoting half of her dreams too and it was only fuelling her anger it seemed. And seeing the little girl like this, _it was only kindling to the raging fire inside of her_.

“ I’m so sorry sweetheart. ” she croons softly as she brushes the girl's hair back from her face.

She stands watching her for a few more moments before turning and heading out, shutting the door silently behind her she sniffs as she brings a hand up to wipe at her face. Six years ago she would never have imagined _her life would be filled with supernatural forces_ , she was only focusing on where she was going to school and what she was going to do with her life. Now, _now she was in a world she barely understood_ , she felt like a blind fool stumbling her way through it.

“ You okay Nurse Uley **_?_ **” 

She turns as she looks at one of the interns she hadn’t learnt the name of and nods as she plasters on a _fake smile in reassurance_. She didn’t feel the smile on her face but it seemed to be enough for the intern. She felt bad that she’d not gotten to know them, but then again her mind had been whirling too much for her to get to know anyone. She was pretty sure the only person she actually knew was Carlisle. And Daryl. But still, the fact she knew a vampire better than her other human workers, _that was just fucking crazy_.

“ Nurse Uley. ” 

_Speaking of the glorious devil_.

“ What do you need, Carlisle **_?_ **” 

“ Walk with me. Please **_?_ **” His topaz eyes were begging and she found she couldn’t argue.

Nodding she follows behind him as he leads her through the maze of bodies and towards the cafeteria. He asks if she wants something to eat and she nods ordering herself a small salad and a warm hot cocoa. Her steps light as the two of them head towards the back of the cafeteria, _into the non-populated area_ , and she realises he wanted a conversation in private.

She pushes the salad around idly as she waits for the moment he was going to speak - she’d learnt with Carlisle it was better to give him space to talk. He was always willing too but needed a moment to organise his thoughts. It was part of his human facade she guessed.

“ The little girl – ” he starts and it immediately grabs her attention. “ Her name is Ellie. And Noelle, she remembers what happened. ” 

A curse is exhaled on a breath as she runs her hands through her hair, her eyes widening at the knowledge that the little girl - _Ellie_ \- remembered everything that had happened. It now made sense as to why she’d been sedated, something she’d wanted to question but was waiting to see Carlisle. But now it all made sense, _too much sense_.

“ What happens now **_?_ ** ” she asks softly, her hazel eyes boring into his golden ones. “I mean how do we proceed with her knowing **_?_ **”

She didn’t want to think of what could happen if someone believed the girl, it would be disastrous. As whilst she was angry at the vampires, they led straight to the wolves and Noelle would do anything she could to protect her family.

“ I don’t know Noelle. Things like this are tricky and if certain people find out, then her life is even more in danger than it already is. ” 

He looked tired, and she didn’t even know vampires could get _tired_.

“ But she’s just a fucking child Carlisle. She didn’t ask for this to happen and she sure as shit doesn’t deserve what is happening to her. Hell if it guaranteed she would be protected I’d adopt her myself. ”

It takes a moment for her ears to catch up with her wayward mouth and yet she couldn’t deny that she would. If it meant protecting the little girl she’d take her in, and protect her. Okay it was a rather rash decision given the situation but Noelle was adopted, so she wasn’t against the damn idea. And if the council of La Push had any objections, then she’d continue to live in Forks.

 _Woah, slow down Uley_.

She knew she was rushing ahead and instead worked on reigning herself in, though she was honestly a bit surprised at the vehement way she’d stood behind those decisions. As though it was that easy to adopt someone, which she knew it wasn’t, or that easy to come to that conclusion. How could she when her whole private life was literally in the fucking air - _but sure I can adopt a three-year-old child_.

 _God, she was an idiot_. But she doesn’t miss the inquisitive way Carlisle looks at her, as though wondering if she’d truly go through with it. And it was at that moment she realised - _he’d help her_. He wanted to protect the child too and if that meant having Noelle adopt her. He would help. That alone sits heavy on her and she routinely eats her salad as the two move the conversation onto safer topics such as the other patients they had that night.

Yet her mind kept trailing back to Ellie and the decision she’d all but decided on a whim. Was it just because she herself was adopted that she was reacting this way. _Or was there more to it_ , because as it turned out her fate was in the hands of someone else who was having a damn field day. _So why not throw her this curveball_. It’s a thought that follows her as she walks down the hospital halls idly, separating from Carlisle she automatically heads back to Ellie’s room. 

Stopping short as she sees the little girl is awake, she offers her a soft smile that she hoped was reassuring.

“ Hey there sweetie, do you mind if I come in **_?_ ** ” her voice was lighter than she felt internally and _she was proud of that_.

Ellie’s small nod has her shutting the door softly as she moves over, settling on the edge of the bed she offers the little girl her hand, watching as her small fingers curl over her much larger ones.

“ Hi, Ellie. I’m Nurse Uley, but you can call me Noelle or ‘Elle. ”

“ Elle, like Ellie. _We match_. ” she can’t help the wide smile as she watches the way the girl's soft brown eyes widen in glee. It was a nice sight to see, given the terror that had brought them together.

But soon the glee is replaced with another emotion and as the first tear falls down Ellie’s young face, she moves forward pulling her into her arms softly. Her fingers automatically ran through her hair in the same manner her mother had done to her when she was sad.

“ It’s going to be okay sweetie. _I promise_ **_!_** ”

It was a lie, she knew that but it was the only thing that made sense to say. Her medical training hadn’t warned her for this, hadn’t prepared her for what to do with _a victim of the supernatural_. So she went off her instincts instead and prayed, _to everyone who was listening_ , that they didn’t steer her wrong.

“ I’m scared. ” the little girl cries and it honestly breaks Noelle’s heart.

“ Do you want to know a secret **_?_** ” She murmurs into Ellie’s brown curls, smiling as she feels the little girl nod against her chest. “ I’m scared all the time. But you want to know another secret, I have a protector that helps me feel better. ”

As Ellie pulls back to look at her with a soft frown marring her young features, she lifts a hand up and wipes away the tears staining her cheeks. Seeing her like this was honestly heartbreaking and all Noelle wanted to do was wrap her in her arms and _protect her from the monsters_.

“ A protectwor. ” she has to smile at the youth as the girl struggles to say the word.

“ Mhm. you see I have a wolf that chases all my bad dreams away, the wolf also wipes away my tears when I’m scared. ”

 _And the award for spouting babble goes too_.

“ Do I have one **_?_ **”

“ Yeah sweetie you do. And right now he’s chasing away everything that makes you scared. ”

As Ellie collapses against her, she can hear a soft howl in the distance, Shay no doubt adding his own input into the words she’d just said. Or agreeing. But it wasn’t like she was truly lying. Ellie did have a wolf chasing away her bad dreams - she’d just missed out the bit where there was more than one wolf.

She holds Ellie till the girl cries herself to sleep and after checking over her charts again she heads out, stopping when she notes that Shay was much closer than he had been. His large wolf form is visible to Noelle, but hidden enough that others wouldn’t see him. As though he was helping Noelle keep her words, that the wolf was there protecting Ellie and she finds herself smiling at the teenager, her hand lifting in a small wave before she heads out.

The rest of her shift passes with ease, something inside of her sated knowing she’d help to ease Ellie’s nightmares, _if just for a little while_.

As the end of her shift finally rolls around, she smiles as she notes Daryl walking over yawning, he too was suffering from the effects of a long shift. The previous surgeon had to go off sick and thus leading Daryl to pull _one of the longest shifts any surgeon should_. She had to chuckle at the cute tired expression on his face, and walks over linking her arm with his as the two head out pleasantries shared with the day staff as they come in, wishes of a good shift handed out with an ease that neither of them felt.

She leans heavily against Daryl’s side as they walk out the hospital, her exhaustion showing in the way she can barely keep her eyes open and her jaw aches from the constant yawning she’d been doing for the past ten minutes. Her eyes blink open as she starts to look around at the foliage, as though hoping for a vision of a wolf, allowing her to feel at least a little safer than she’d felt whilst working.

She knew Shay was on duty, but was he on duty till she went home. Or had someone traded with him as the morning light broke over the horizon. _As whilst she felt safe knowing he was out there_ , she wasn’t entirely okay with seventeen-year-old running circles around the hospital all night. Maybe it was the avid learner in her, but she would prefer him to be in school working towards the promise of a future that didn’t involve four paws and a tail instead of protecting her.

But she wouldn't bring that up to her brother. _Or Paul_.

Her eyes drift to where her impala is parked and she snorts softly as her tired eyes land on the tall Quileute woman resting against the front bumper. Eyes drag lazily up long legs and over jean shorts and a tight tank top that did nothing to hide the muscles defining her frame and up to her face. Resting there on full lips was a smirk worthy enough to rival Paul’s as though highly aware of the eyefuck Noelle had just handed out.

“ Don’t get a big head. ” She tiredly whispers low enough so only Leah could hear.

The raucous laughter that meets her ear has her smirking, eyes cutting up to see confusion blooming on Daryl’s face and for a moment she feels bad, and yet she didn’t at the same time. It was better he didn’t know. She leads him over to where Leah was resting, her body tired and not in the mood for a showdown with the she-wolf. She was the one that Noelle had avoided, mostly because she wasn’t sure if they were friends still, or just two acquaintances.

Stopping just in front of the woman, she grumbles as the taller woman stands - honestly Noelle was surrounded by tall bastards - and instead leans her head against Daryl’s shoulder.

“ Leah meet Daryl, Daryl meet Leah _. Another old friend_. ” 

She was constantly introducing him to old friends it seems. One day she was going to have to line up everyone from La Push and introduce him. Stopping all these awkward shenanigans that came about as well as the questions she could _see burning in the eyes of her ex-fiance_. Instead, she watches as Leah looks at Daryl, and then freezes. Beside her, she can feel Daryl stiffen, and blinking away her exhaustion as she looks between them. Frowning lightly - _she wonders what was with the staring competition_ \- her tired brain taking more than a moment to catch up. And as it finally does she can’t help the laughter that skirts off her lips.

Maybe it was her delirium due to exhaustion, or she had completely lost her mind but the sight of her old friend and the only she-wolf in La Push staring at her ex-fiance slash friend, _was highly entertaining_. And yet she can also see the moment Leah starts to shut down, a soft curse fluttering off her lips as she does, because of course, no one but Paul knows that she and Daryl were over. And Sam had already told her that Paul was good at hiding his thoughts wherever she was concerned. Which meant he probably hadn’t shared that tidbit - which made Leah think it was the Sam and Emily situation all over again.

 _God did she ever get a day off_.

“ So Lee _,_ was there anything you needed **_?_ **” She can barely contain her smirk as Leah has to shake herself to pay attention once more to the conversation.

“ Yeah, your brother was wondering if you’re coming to the bonfire next week **_?_ **” 

She hums as she thinks over her schedule. She knew she had night shifts till Wednesday but after that, she wasn’t sure. Plus it wasn’t like she could ask, because even if she wasn’t working. She was sure she was still going to end up being babysat - Daryl too it would seem.

“ I don’t know. I don't have my full schedule for next week **_?_ **” She shrugs “ Plus Daryl and I have some stuff to discuss – ”

“ Alright. Just let Sam know okay **_!_ **” 

There was a pointed look in Leah’s eyes and she knew it was far more than letting Sam know if she was attending a bonfire, she was to let Sam know her schedule. With a nod, she watches as Leah lopes off and turns her attention to Daryl, his blue eyes watching Leah disappear and it makes Noelle smile, _at least a little_. Even if she knew there was a whole web to untangle there - and not to mention the secret that had to come free. Whilst the pack had lied to her for six years, there was no way _they’d be able to do the same with Daryl_.

“ Oi mister. Eyes off the goods and take me home **_!_ **” 

Her laughter is light and freeing for a moment as Daryl turns with a horrified look on his face and shakes his head before dragging her to the passenger side of her impala. She doesn’t comment, _it wasn’t her place_ , so instead, she revels in her laughter and allows it to carry her as she heads home. The simple actions stopping her from giving in to the complete exhaustion that was settled in her bones.

As the small house appears before her, Noelle can’t help but think over how _in the last twenty-four hours her whole life had changed_. Her and Daryl had ended their relationship and now it seemed it was for the best. Where she had previously felt like she was letting him go for her own selfish reasons, in truth she was letting him go so he could find his true future.

Whilst it hurt like a bitch, she was at least able to heal some of the wounds she’d caused earlier - knowing there was someone better out there, _someone who deserved him_ and wouldn’t hurt him as she did. Because if Leah did, then she’d find a way to kill a wolf. _No question about that_.

She moves to head straight to bed but stops as she feels Daryl’s hand settling gently around her wrist, her eyes dragging up to his and seeing so many unanswered questions swirling inside those blue orbs that for a moment she felt cruel that she couldn’t answer them. _It wasn’t her place_ , this time it was up to someone else.

“ _Trust me_. Soon all this will make sense, me and Paul, and what you’re feeling regarding the woman you just met. ” 

_That was probably the nicest way she could put that_.

“ What’s that supposed to mean **_?_ **” 

She turns to look at him, her hazel eyes assessing the pure confusion on his face and she can’t help the soft chuckle that falls off her lips. Things were beyond confusing, she’d come home with Daryl with the premise of starting their forever. And instead, the knowledge of two imprints stood between them and showed that their paths were different and yet similar - _yeah confusing was an understatement_.

“ Fate has other ideas for us Dare – ” She smirks softly as she turns to head up the stairs. 

She wasn’t deluding herself, she knew that shit was about to get a hell of a lot more complicated. And she wasn’t entirely sure if Daryl would be able to handle the big furry secret. But one thing she was sure of was that she wouldn’t abandon her friends, Leah and Daryl needed her and she was happy for them both. Daryl would be good for her, he was patient and he was kind. _Something Leah desperately needed._

And whilst she would forever love him, _he was Leah’s now_. And she would do anything she could to make the transition easier, to help her friends find their happiness. Even if hers was still a big question mark. But one thing was for sure - she was pretty sure she was about to adopt a child. _All because she’d spoken without thinking_.


	19. It’s time to take a chance

**\- La Push, Washington -**

**\- Noelle -**

She grumbles as she walks up the path leading to the small blue house in front of her, her eyes racking over the clapboard house with a small smile. She had no idea what was awaiting her inside, or if the owner of the said house was even home. But she was willing to take a risk, after all, it was one of the reasons she’d dragged herself out of bed after only three hours of sleep. She was bone tired but this was a conversation that needed to be had, it had too.  _ For everyone involved to move forward _ .

Stopping outside the door, she juggles the coffees and baked treats in her hand before knocking once, her teeth sinking into the flesh of her bottom lip as she waits. She could hear small howls in the distance and knew Jared was no doubt passing along _ the message that Noelle was in La Push _ , she’d seen him after she’d crossed the treaty line and had been the one she questioned as to where Leah was.

She had voiced her words carefully to Jared, making sure to give nothing away of her true intentions.  _ Instead _ , she’d simply said she needed a woman’s input on what was happening with the state of her love life. She hadn’t cared if Jared believed her or not. She had gotten good at lying and it showed as he’d told her the directions to Leah’s and took off into the woods.  _ Questions could come later _ .

A movement behind the wooden door draws her attention back forward and she grins a saccharine smile as she holds up the goods in her hand towards the Quileute woman. A pleading look entering hazel eyes.

“ I come bearing gifts of coffee and sugary baked goodness. ” if all else fails,  _ try bribery _ .

A sharp roll of brown eyes is Leah’s only answer as she moves out the way allowing Noelle in, the shorter woman moving slowly and showing the ridges of tiredness that still clung to her. Stumbling lightly she makes her way towards the kitchen, setting down the coffee and treats with far more careful hands than she felt she had as she turns to stare at the woman who had once been like an older sister.

“ I know what happened outside the hospital – ” well, that was straight to the point. “ So I believe me and you need to have a chat. ” 

Holding her hand up to silence any retort Leah had planned, she settles into one of the two chairs framing the small table, her deft hands _ reaching out for the coffee that was hers _ . Taking a sip of the still scolding liquid she turns her hazel eyes on the other. It was easy to see the unease that bled from Leah, the way she shuffled from one foot to another as though she was expecting the worst outcome of this conversation. As though she was expecting Noelle to be the second Uley to break her.

It was honestly heartbreaking -  _ to see that even after six years _ \- the damage of the imprint was still fresh for Leah. No doubt becoming part of the pack and having to relieve it had done far more than anyone had predicted. Noelle had heard the rumours, of how much of a bitch Leah had become but she found she didn’t blame her.  _ She would have done the same _ .

“ Daryl and I are no longer together. ” She states finitely, continuing her straight to the point way of talking. “ We mutually decided to return to being friends.  _ So first things first _ , this will not be another  **_Sam and Emily situation_ ** . ” 

She visually watches the tension bleed from the she-wolf, a look of relief blooming over her features that in the fledging sunlight looked _ inexplicably beautiful in a harsh and otherworldly way _ . Leah’s body relaxes it’s previous taut and wooden posture as she strolls over to the table dropping down into the seat opposite Noelle. Tall, lithe body congealing to the sitting position in a way that had a string of jealousy rushing through Noelle’s veins.

“  _ Thank fuck for that _ – ” Leah growls softly as she reaches for the baked goodies, nimble fingers pulling free one of the brownies.

Noelle chuckles softly as she shrugs in concealed humour. Mirth danced freely in her hazel eyes as she leans her tired frame back in the chair. Her long legs stretching out before her as she thinks over how best to go about the conversation she had planned. On the way over she’d run different scenarios in her head, _ but she was still unsure as to what plan to take _ . All she knew was that she was determined to help.

“ Look I know my brother tore your heart out Lee. ” she sighs “ But I can promise on everything I hold dear,  _ that’s not who Daryl is _ . ” 

She knew Leah wouldn’t believe her,  _ not straight away _ . So darting her tongue out to wet her drying lips she decides to just start at the beginning.

“ I met Daryl not long after I moved to Boston.  _ I was a god damn wreck _ , I spent weeks crying over my brother and over Paul. And Daryl became a slow and steady friend. He showed me around the city, offered me his friendship even when I was slowly falling apart inside.  _ He offered it _ , not even caring if I couldn’t return it. ” 

She curses softly, as once more she’s reminded that she doesn’t deserve him.  _ Even as friends _ .

“ I spent the first two years or so in Boston just randomly sleeping with guys and dating some total fucking losers. But through it all I had Daryl. He’d come over to my dorm and simply help me with my work, or just to watch movies. He literally became my best friend  **!** ” she can see Leah smiling despite herself and Noelle fights to hide her own.

“ I didn’t realize then, but I was slowly falling for him. He was working his way under all my walls. And well he was a stark opposite of Paul. Which was what I wanted. ” 

She sighs as her eyes look around the small room they were sitting in, her fingers idly tracing the plastic rim of the coffee in her hand. She was still working out how she was going to word what she wanted to say. Taking a trip down memory lane was not her plan,  _ but here she was _ .

“ Daryl is one of the rare ones Leah. He gives himself completely to any situation, he loves without equal and he is severely understanding. He knew I still loved someone else,  _ that my heart had never been his wholly _ , and yet he loved me either way. ” 

Hazel eyes watch every flickering emotion as it crosses over Leah’s face, the way the she-wolf was absorbing every word that Noelle was speaking as though it was a life-raft. As though every decision she was about to make all rested on what she learned at this moment. And as she sat there,  _ she knew that Daryl would be perfect for Leah _ . He would be able to repair the damage that had been done by Sam, and it was something the she-wolf needed.

He had fixed her,  _ so he could fix Leah _ .

“ I know my brother hurt you in ways I’ll never truly understand. No one in their right mind would, but don’t turn away from Daryl because of it. ” she murmurs softly. “ There is a reason he was made for you Leah, a reason I had always felt like bringing him home was the best decision we’d made. It was because I had to  _ bring him home to you _ . ” 

Bringing the now tepid coffee to her lips, she takes a large gulp as she lets the words settle in between the two of them. It was something she had been thinking on since she saw the imprinting, her and Daryl  _ were two puzzle pieces _ who didn’t go together, they’d spent too long trying to force it. But now, she understood the reason she’d been so compelled to return.  _ She had a true reason to bring Daryl home _ .

She’d never been someone who believed in fate before, she’d always dismissed it as  _ weepy-eyed bullshit _ that people spouted as an excuse for the shit they pulled. But since she’d learned that her life had been forever tied to the supernatural, now she was second-guessing everything. Whilst she still thinks fate is broken _ in saying Paul was her forever _ , she did truly think fate got it right with Leah and Daryl.

Hazel eyes are inquisitive as she waits, letting the silence drench into her skin as she gives Leah the space to think. She knew that pushing Leah would result in her taking off running in the opposite direction. It was why she hadn’t told anyone yet about the imprint, _ hadn’t told Sam _ , even Jared had shared that no one knew what was bugging Leah and that she was just in a mood.

“ I’m scared, Elle  **!** ” 

Leah’s words drag her attention back and she smiles softly.

“ Scared of what exactly. The imprint or opening your heart again  **?** ” she prods gently.

“ I – ” Teeth sinks into her lips and Leah sighs softly. “ I’m scared of both of those Elle, my life had been tarnished by an imprint once, even yours had been torn apart by it.  _ And here we are _ , both fighting what has happened to us for fear of opening our hearts to that pain again. Don’t deny it, Elle, I know it’s why you’ve said friends only with Paul, you’re scared of giving him that power over you again. And truthfully,  _ I’m scared of giving that to Daryl _ . ” 

It was hard to hear the words rapped in honeyed bass drifting between them, the words she had been denying to herself since she learned about the imprint. But that was the power of Leah, she understood the torment that Noelle hid, having lived it too. And here they were both sat,  _ broken and scared to love _ . Love had broken them both and it was the true thing that they were running from.

Shifting from the chair, she walks over to Leah and pulls her in for a hug. Given Leah’s height advantage there wasn’t much difference between them even sitting down. Leah’s head rested softly on her shoulder as she runs her fingers through the jagged locks of black, her motions soft despite how tired she was. All she cared for was  _ offering the other comfort _ , and maybe some of it was for herself.

“ How about we make a deal – ” she murmurs as she pulls back to look deep in Leah’s brown eyes, fingers coming up to wipe away the wayward tears cutting a path down golden skin. 

“ What deal  **?** ” the hope in Leah’s eyes was comforting, despite the pain she knew the other was feeling.

“ I will bring Daryl with me to the bonfire next week. Take the time to get to know him, no expectations, no promises of friendship,  _ or love _ . Just get to know him – ” she vows.

Leah’s attention was firmly locked on her once more, once more  _ holding onto every word she spoke _ . 

“ And we promise each other here and now. That we turn to each other as we navigate this  _ rocky path we walk _ . You help me with Paul and I help you with Daryl. Whenever either of us feels lost or feels like we’re drowning in the pain we hide -  _ we find each other _ . We find each other and put each other back together. ” 

Leah smiles the first genuine smile Noelle has seen since she walked in and as heated arms pull her closer she chuckles softly. Her head falling onto Leah’s shoulder as they embrace the strength of each other. Of the knowledge that they were the only two people who truly understood  _ what the other was thinking and feeling _ . They didn’t need to voice the agreement to the vow, the hug spoke volumes for them both.

“  _ Us girls have got to stick together _ . ” Leah whispers in her ear and Noelle smiles as rich chocolate chuckles fall off her lips.

“ True. Plus I can always use you to punch Paul for me so I don’t end up with another broken hand. ” 

Their laughter is rich as they move apart, Noelle settling back into the chair she previously occupied as she drinks down the tepid coffee,  _ allowing the caffeine to fuel her tired bones _ . Now that the stress had passed, she can feel it seeping back into her. 

“ I’ll make sure to show that to Paul when we’re on patrol so he’s highly warned – ” a wink accompanying the end has Noelle smirking.

“ Carry on like that, and  _ I might just persuade you to run away with me _ . We’ll choose each other instead of the boys. ” 

“ Oh don’t tempt me. You know I have a weakness for Uley’s. ” Words said fluently as Leah pops another piece of brownie between pink lips.

Their laughter is rich and decadent as Noelle’s roll off her lips like honey, mixing together to create a delicious  _ mix of humour and ease _ . The stress of their previous conversation having disappeared like dust in the wind and yet it was settled in their bones,  _ the foundation to which they built their current laughter _ . Thoughts they’d linger and obsess over later and instead they simpled relished in the ease of laughter.

“ Also, _ just so it’s out there _ . Daryl is a fucking monster in the sack. I wasn’t lying when I said he outdid Paul. ” 

Okay so it was slightly unfair, six years had passed so she had no idea if that statement was still true. _ But from her memories it was _ . And as Leah chokes on her breathe, collapsing to her knees on the linoleum floor as she works to cough and laugh at the same time. Noelle finds herself smirking, a smirk that  _ she had learned from Paul so long ago _ . 

She could already tell that Leah would be sharing that knowledge through the pack mind as well, relishing in the torment it would no doubt do to Paul. And yet she couldn’t bring herself to care, if it gave Leah a moment of happiness then she’d let it fester. Even if she knew she would pay for it  _ when Paul found her again _ . Or maybe it was why she was doing it, some sick part of her wanting him to correct it, to take back his title as her best lay. She had no idea why she was so determined for that bit, or maybe she was just curious as to see what he would do.  _ Her curiosity no doubt spurning on her actions _ .

“ He’s going to fucking kill you if he sees that in my head. ” words choked on laughter as Leah finally regains her composure.

“  _ Maybe that’s why I’m doing it _ . I know better than most what happens when you challenge Paul’s ego. ” 

If someone had asked her if she expected the conversation to go this way - she would have outright denied it. And yet hearing the pure laughter that was settling both from her lips and Leahs, _ it was worth it _ . When she had first dragged herself from her sleep she had no idea how the conversation would go, she had pictured many different ways she’d end up being thrown out with harsh words, and yet it had gone in a direction she hadn’t truly predicted. _ Hoped for, but hadn’t predicted _ . 

“ You know for all his wrongdoings Elle,  _ Paul does love you _ . I remember Jacob saying to him once that Paul had found the true meaning of the imprint. He managed to let you go because it was what you needed, what he knew you needed. And yeah since then he’s slept with every willing person he found,  _ but he loves you _ . ” 

He fingers idly twirl the now empty coffee cup as she sighs, she should have known that Leah would take the opportunity to turn the conversation towards the other imprint settled between them.  _ She didn’t want to hear it _ , but she had forced Leah to listen so maybe it was only fair.

“ I know he does Leah. But he took my choices from me, he made one that caused us to live in pain for six years. And how am I supposed to trust him, trust that should we come up against that again that he won’t make another choice like that. Force me to live with a situation he controls without any input on my life. ” 

Fingers tightening around the cup as the sound of it rendering to nothing rattles around the room. Her true fear on the table before her. Leah doesn’t answer and Noelle doesn’t blame her, _ there was nothing to stay to that _ , as she knew Paul would wax poetry if it helped persuade her that he wouldn’t do it. But there were no words for that anymore, all that Paul could do was prove it with actions.

It was up to the wolf to win her heart and prove that  _ he wouldn’t hurt her again. _

“ Hey, why don’t you go to the guest room and get some sleep. I’ve watched you yawn five times in the last ten minutes ” Leah says gently, a heated hand coming to rest on her shoulder. “ You’ve got a shift tonight and I won’t be the one to blame for you falling asleep during it. ” 

She blinks at Leah, not even realizing she’d been yawning, and yet now it was mentioned she could feel _ the ache in her jaw _ . An argument settles on the tip of her tongue but as Leah levels her with a pointed look she sighs her submission, nodding solemnly she allows the wolf to guide her to the other room. _ Sleep was actually something she wanted _ so she didn’t care that she had just bowed to the other. Rather she was enjoying the potential of getting a few more hours of bliss.

“ I’ve got patrol in a few hours. So I’ll make sure there’s a wolf to take you home when you wake up. And don’t forget you will be watched tonight. ” 

“ How could I forget my babysitters – ” she grumbles as she falls face-first onto the bed. “ Who is it tonight  **?** ” 

Her voice muffled by the sheets but she clearly hears Leah say it was Paul that was babysitting tonight. Yet before she can comment,  _ sleep claims her once more _ , lost in the sheets of Leah’s spare room.


	20. Some pain lingers.

**\- La Push, Washington -**

**\- Leah -**

Paws hit rhythmically against the foliage, her lithe form ducking and jumping over fallen trees with ease, her tongue lolling out the side of her mouth as her breath escapes her in heated clouds of smoke. She was perfectly at ease here under the canopy of trees, relishing in the feeling of _ pure power exuded from her bones _ . Around her the sounds of the impending midnight cry around her, singing in her ears and letting her know just what was happening.

Her mind reaches out, the familiar taste of Paul’s thoughts flooding her brain and she watches -  _ as though his sight was hers _ \- as Noelle moves around the hospital room. Her steps steady and commanding, completely at ease with what she was doing. A gentle voice crooning next to her and Leah can’t help the internal smile as she watches Noelle with the little girl - _ the one hurt by the supernatural _ .

“ She’s good at that. ” Leah thinks idly, not even caring if Paul hears her or not. “ The whole comforting thing. ” 

“ Yeah – ” she hears Paul agree, his eyes set firmly on his imprint.

Unbidden Leah’s mind recalls the hug Noelle had given her earlier -  _ the comfort she offered _ \- as well as the quiet strength that only Noelle could exude. Leah had first noted that about her when they were younger, she would always work to make everyone happy. It was just everyone else that  _ broke her instead _ .

“ Thanks for the reminder. ”

Leah snorts as her body changes directions with ease, her mind pulling up images of the day Noelle left. Leah had seen her that morning, slipping out in the early hours. Not long after she phased, Leah would use that memory constantly as ammo against Paul and Sam, wanting them to see the damage they’d done. It always worked and Leah got what she wanted most, the physical exertion that came from a good fight with another who had the same strength.

_ Paul was always the best one for that _ .

His growl reverberates in her mind and she chortles - which in wolf form wasn’t easy - as she continues to run the perimeter for her patrol. Her nose picking up scents and organizing between what was familiar and which were foreign and what was a threat.

“ You broke her buddy. You should feel fucking blessed that she even gave you a chance. ” her own words were clipped and showed the anger underneath. But also the loyalty, the loyalty Leah had to her friend.

“ I’m not going to hurt her again Lee,  _ I can’t _ . ”

Her humour runs rampant as she drags up the memory of how Noelle had mentioned Leah would be her baseball bat in hitting Paul. She watches as his steps falter as he drinks in her memory and a wolfish chortle falls off her lips. Yeah, she purposefully brought it up, she had said she would. But mostly it was to show Paul that Leah was on Noelle’s side in this fight.  _ Pack loyalty or not _ .

“ God could you be any more annoying. ” Paul growls in annoyance.

“ Hey, those are your imprints words.  _ Not mine _ . ” Leah smirks mentally, her words wrapped in saccharine joy.

Leah had always found it amusing the changes in Noelle, how strong she had become after her six years away. To most,  _ they were drastic _ , different than the girl she had been before. But Leah and most of the pack knew the changes were the best -  _ whilst born of pain _ \- they gave her the strength to handle Paul. He was ornery on the best of days, and most couldn’t him, yet Noelle had disarmed him far more times since her return than Leah could count.

Her own scent drifts into her senses and she starts her patrol once more, the circle having previously coming to an end and here she was starting once more. Sometimes patrols were highly boring, born of Sam’s paranoia but even Leah couldn’t deny that this time it was warranted.  _ A child had been hurt _ , as had other innocents and it was up to the wolves to protect them.

Choosing to ignore that Paul was in her head, her thoughts open and willing for him to hear, just as his own were to her -  _ not that they were too hard to handle _ \- after all his thoughts were constantly focused around Noelle.  _ The Noelle show _ as Seth had taken to calling it, but after years of the Bella Swan show - they’d all learned how to shut out the thoughts they didn’t want.

So with that way of thinking, she allows her mind to drift to the unexpected conversation in her kitchen. She hadn’t expected Noelle to turn up, if Leah was quite honest she’d wanted to  _ avoid the brunette at least _ for a little longer. But she’d forgotten the tenacity of the Uley family, and not to mention Noelle’s own deep-rooted stubbornness. And the whole conversation had taken a turn Leah wasn’t ready for.

She had been overjoyed hearing that Noelle and Daryl weren’t together anymore, she wasn’t sure if she was ready for another Sam and Emily situation - this time making someone else live through it. But it had been the way Noelle had spoken, disarming every retort and challenge Leah had sitting on the end of her tongue before she’d even been able to speak them.

Jealousy had flared like a violent storm as she heard the relationship between the two of them, had hated hearing how the two had met and the connection they’d shared. But she understood what Noelle was doing, she was helping,  _ in her own way _ , she was showing Leah that Daryl was different.  _ She was scared to admit it worked _ .

Fate .

A world Noelle had spoken about and something Leah herself had never believed in. She had been damaged by fate once before and she’d shut it out as nothing more than hearsay and total bullshit. But even now she could feel the chains wanting to wrap around her heart and force her to give in, to let it wrap around her and cocoon her in the promise of forever.

Yet nothing was that easy as she was damaged - _ just like Noelle _ \- and that was something that was easily repaired. Words would never heal the gaping wounds left behind, only actions could. But sometimes even actions could do more damage. Sometimes time didn’t heal all wounds.

Lost in the memories, Leah lets slip the words Noelle had spoken -  _ Daryl is a fucking monster in the sack. I wasn’t lying when I said he outdid Paul _ \- and her own steps falter as she feels the telltale signature of Paul’s anger drifting through her mind. Her huge form coming to a screeching half as she focuses back on her fellow wolf. It had been a total accident, despite how she had threatened to show them.

“ Paul. ” Leah mutters slowly. “ She’d said it as a joke. She was helping me feel better. ”

She tries to soothe the devilish taint of her packmate’s anger, his mind flashing with the brutality of his temper. It scares her for a moment, her every instinct telling her to run straight to Forks and grab Noelle and keep running.  _ But she fights it _ , keeps her paws plated firmly in the foliage as even she wasn’t stupid enough to think that Paul would let her close.

He was the pack’s best fighter for a reason, she was quick but he was better. His mind,  _ when singularly focused _ , made him focused in a way that no one else could even begin to comprehend. Leah had first gotten a taste of it during the newborn fight,  _ she had tried everything _ to stray away from his mind, and the pure rage that been wrapped around every thought.

“  _ Not now Leah _ . ”

Her whole frame shakes from the deep bass he spoke to her in, the words  _ deep and menacing _ and she sighs as her mind whirls. She instead allows it to stray, stray to when Noelle had fallen asleep. Leah had leaned in the doorway watching her pseudo sister and making sure she actually _ got the rest she needed _ . The youngest Uley passing out with an ease Leah was almost jealous of, but it had been the uttered words that had drawn her attention.

She replays them for Paul, the whispered words settling between them and it was almost screwy how those simple words,  _ soothed the raging beast that was Paul _ . The agitation that had him pacing dissipating until it was nothing more than restlessness. His large silver form shuffling from one side to the other, eyes cutting to the hospital where Noelle was now out of sight but still within hearing distance. His thoughts once more focusing on his imprint as he uses what he hears to picture what she’s doing. Leah chuckles internally as she hears Noelle arguing with Carlisle. Of everyone, Noelle had never truly liked the vampires,  _ Leah had to admire that _ .

“ Under all her pain Paul,  _ she still loves you _ . She’s just burdened by the secrets and lies, the choices you stole from her. ” Leah sighs as she shakes out her own lupine head, once more resuming her patrols. She can feel Brady in the pack mind but he gives the two elder wolves space.

“ One thing I always enjoyed about Noelle was she always knew what she wanted,  _ she wanted to help people _ , she wanted to give back to the reservation that had accepted her as family. And you chose for her, yes for a good reason, but that was only a good reason _ for you _ . ” Her voice soft despite the hidden anger. “ Right now she’s torn between letting you in and between the memories. ”

“ I know that Lee, but I’d make the same choice again. ” His sigh was like a knife to her heart.

Even now Leah can still taste the familiar flavour of his anger, but she doesn’t comment on it. Her snout lowered to the forest floor as she thinks on how to word her next statement without riling the other wolf up. She’d made a deal with Noelle after all -  _ they’d help each other with their imprints _ \- and well Leah was determined to hold up her end. She owed it to her friend.

“ That’s your problem, Paul. Us wolves have to be whatever our imprint needs, but we have to fucking trust in our imprints too.  _ Trust that they can make their own choices _ . Yes, we all know Noelle would have stayed for you, but she’s as stubborn as a mule so she’d have still done her nursing. So don’t take her choices away again, let her have a say. Otherwise, next time she runs,  _ she might not return _ . ”

Leah is almost positive she can hear Paul’s growl all the way from Forks, because that was the true root of his troubles.  _ He was scared she’d run once more _ , Leah understood that as she knew it was a fear Sam had and why he was letting his sister guide their reunion. He was giving her a choice in whether or not to forgive him. And her distance was hurting the elder male, but he was giving his sister back what he took away.

And despite how much it pissed Paul off,  _ he needed to do the same _ .

“ What do I do  **?** ”

For a moment Leah isn’t sure she hears the words right, the true vulnerability that Paul had wrapped around those four words. The shock of it causing her to stumble and for Brady to run headfirst into the nearest tree. Out of all the wolves they had never seen Paul vulnerable. But that was the power of the imprint, it gave someone the power to destroy you.

“ Be her friend. No more kissing or telling her that you love her.  _ Start from the beginning _ . ” Leah sighs, twisting what Noelle had said.

“ She’s changed in six years so get to know the new her, bring her coffee in the morning, ask how her day has been. The stuff a friend would do, _ the shit Jared and I do.  _ She’s bringing Daryl to the bonfire next week, so use that to get to know her and get to know him. He means a lot to her,  _ a hell of a lot _ . And now he’s my imprint he’s never going to be out of her life, so show her you’re trying, by getting to know the man who repaired the damage you caused. ”

Whilst Leah could still feel the sting of jealousy settling in her heart that her imprint was still close with his ex-fiancee, Leah wasn’t going to take it away from them. Because without Daryl, then  _ Noelle would never have come home _ . Leah wouldn’t have her friend back and Paul wouldn’t have his soulmate.

She still had her broken edges, the damage from Sam wouldn’t ever fully go away but Noelle was right. She needed to take a chance and she was willing too.  _ She would do baby steps  _ and if she felt like she was about to drown then she’d find her friend. And together the two would sew themselves back together.

“ Loverboy is here. ” Paul drawls catching her attention.

She pulls his thoughts into her mind and watches as Noelle and Daryl talk with one of the patients, even from where Paul was standing you could hear the raging of the patient. As Paul looks between the two imprints, Leah can see that Noelle was biting her lip -  _ no doubt constricting a retort _ \- and yet Daryl looked patient and calm.

“ He’s going to need it with you. ” Paul comments and Leah growls.

She tries to ignore him as she instead watches the two of them, it was annoying that she was so drawn to the male. But now she could finally understand the whole business of the imprint.  _ Yes _ , she was still hurting from Sam, still hurting from the damage, but she understood the sheer need that came with one. Ever since she had seen Daryl, he filled her every thought. Every shred of information Noelle had offered, she’d filed away like a starving woman as though her wolf was desperate to know. It was, it was something she was struggling to understand.

“ It’s hell. ” Paul whispers and she doesn’t comment.

Even now she had to give her pack brother props for ignoring it for six years. She had only been an imprinted wolf for less than twenty-four hours and already she would lose her mind if Daryl was to leave. She had no idea what she’d do if he chose to reject the imprint. She remembers the visions from Jared’s head of the times Noelle had commented he was smart, and she knew she wouldn’t be able to lie to him.

_ Not for long _ .

“ How are you going to tell him  **?** ” Paul asks as he settles down on his haunches, still watching Noelle. “ Better than me I hope  **?** ” 

“ Anything is better than how you told Noelle. ” Brady interjects and Leah snorts.

Leah had to agree with that, but if she was honest, it did fit who Paul was as a person. But when it came to her own imprint she wasn’t sure how she was going to go about telling Daryl. Especially telling him in a way that worked and made him understand.

“ I’m probably going to need Elle there, and Sam. ” 

Yeah, that would be interesting, explain to her imprint the whole Sam debacle without resorting to the raging bitch she normally was when Sam was close. Or break down in tears because the pain was still raw. Yeah, this was going to probably be the worst conversation she ever had.

“ Take a chance Lee, he’s a doctor. He might believe it more than you think. ” 

She wanted to trust in Brady’s optimism, but it was hard. After the shitty hand, she had been dealt. How could she believe that? Shutting the two men out she continues on with her patrol, wanting nothing but silence as she thinks over the revelations of the last few days. Just a few months ago she hadn’t even known she could imprint, she had hoped in some small corner of her mind, but she had thought she couldn’t.

But more than that, she still wasn’t sure if she could have children. Her whole body had messed up since she phased and what was once normal was no longer such. She didn’t have her periods, so who was to say she could have children. And Leah had always seen that was the one way a woman could fail her lover - by not giving him a child. And here she was, an imprinted wolf with no hope for children.

She stops in the middle of a clearing, her large lupine head tilted towards the sky as she drags in the scents of the forest, her mind whirling as tears make a silent track down the soft curve of her fur. This wasn’t the first time she had cried at the prospect of not having children, it had been the one thing she was most angry over, but now, now it felt like the worst thing in the world.

Dropping to her haunches, she settles her head down as she brings Daryl’s face to the forefront of her mind, watching the way the light had danced off his features. It wasn’t hard for her to picture what a child with him would look like - and she knew that was the imprint - many times she had caught Paul doing the same thing, Jared and Sam were just as guilty.

But they could have children.  _ She was the genetic dead end _ .


	21. The body in the woods.

**\- La Push, Washington -**

**\- Noelle -**

Her foot taps impatiently as she leans against the porch railing, her hazel eyes dragging to her watch every few seconds as she sighs in impatience to see only a minute has passed. She had been doing it for the last ten minutes and slowly but surely her patience was dripping away. And she was going to do something stupid, like dragging Daryl out the house,  _ half-naked or not _ . Honestly how long does it take for a dude to get showered and dressed **?**

_ Right now he was taking longer than her _ .

Throwing her hands up as he finally leaves she walks over to his car, fingers wrenching open the passenger door as she throws herself within the leather seat. Daryl’s laughter rings out as she slams the door closed. She knew she looked slightly manic, or borderline impatient but she was. This bonfire was something that she had fretted over in the full week since she’d talked to Leah.

Jared had told her that it was Noelle’s official introduction to the pack, and Daryl’s too.  _ But more than that _ , it would be the first true interaction between Leah and Daryl and she wanted to make sure that her two friends found common ground and didn’t throw all walls and stubbornness in the way of what was happening.

It was also Daryl’s first full interaction around the pack and she knew, with every fibre of her being that he would figure something out. He would take all the signs they were throwing around and put the pieces together - either the correct ones or ones of his own choosing.  _ And it had her worried _ , a worry that was brewing deep in her veins leaving her agitated and burning with an energy she couldn’t name.

As he settles into the seat beside him, she shoots him an impatient glance before looking out the window at the passing scenery. Her mind running through the various ways this night could go tragically wrong as well as all the other worries that were plaguing her mind. Ranging from Paul losing his temper, a wolf saying something wrong and Daryl exposing them all as liars.

_ It was going to be a long night indeed _ .

As she sees the imagery of third beach drawing every close, she begins to shift in her seat, her energy burning to uncontrollable heights. Hazel eyes scan those still gathered in the parking lot, thankful as she sees Sam leaning against his large truck as though waiting for the two of them.

Breathing in deeply she climbs from the car and is thankful as almost immediately, heated arms wrap around her and the scent of her brother cocoons her in his silent strength. Even if their relationship was still strained, right now she needed his strength to get through this night.

“ It’ll be okay ‘Elle. We’ll get through this. ”

She pulls away and nods, her fingers running through her hair as she drags her breath in harshly. Steadying herself against the tension in her bones. Her arms wrap around Emily in a hug as she watches how her brother and Daryl interact, the two of them having found a common ground she wasn’t aware of.

Walking towards the beach, she smiles as Jared pulls her into a hug and then Kim does the same. Yet it was Leah that she strayed too, Daryl following due to the fact he barely knew anyone and as she introduces the pair once more, she watches them steadily. Daryl striking up a conversation with ease that makes Noelle feel better, if only slightly about the night.

Edging away from them and giving them the privacy they deserve, she moves over to those she knew, catching up and relishing in tales of the years she’d missed. It is easy to do, even if she still carried the weight of leaving deep on her shoulders, and yet no one holds it against her. All of them understand that she’d left for a reason, she left for school,  _ she had gone and followed her dreams _ .

Leaning against the piece of dry-wood she’d found littering the sand, her eyes watched everyone. She had always been a people watcher, noting the way they acted, how they moved. She found that doing so told her far more about a person than they did with words. Like Jacob, he was all sunshine on the outside but she could see the tension pulling deep within him, that caused his steps to be set heavy.

“ How’s the little girl doing ? ”

Paul’s vice to her side has her smiling softly, his heat soon pooling beside her as his fingers hold out one of the two drinks in his hands. She takes it with a soft thank you as she continues to watch those gathered waiting for the fire to be lit and the stories to start.

“ Haven’t you been on night babysitting duty. I thought you’d know ? ” she teases.

“ You’re right I do. I just figured it was a better greeting than kissing you senseless. ”

Despite herself, soft chuckles drift off her lips and into the air between them. Mirth danced in her eyes as she turns her gaze towards him. His own focused on the group she had just been watching but she could see the soft turn to his lips, he too amused by the words he had just spoken.

“ Yeah, I can’t say that fits into the whole friend’s category too well. ”

Even if she was realising that being friends with Paul was going to be one of the hardest things she’d ever done. How could you be friends with someone that was destined to be yours, and you’d once shared everything with. She was certain that it had never been done, and yet here she was attempting just that.

Pulling the conversation away, she instead tells Paul about the adoption plans. The first person she had spoken them too given she still wasn’t sure if she was going through with it. She had voiced the words in a rush of emotion and yet every time she saw to Ellie she found herself falling under the little girl's spell.

“ What are you going to do ? ” Paul asks softly and she shrugs.

“ Honestly, I don’t know. ” fingers deftly lifting the cup to her mouth as she finishes the gulp of alcohol. “ I mean, on one hand, it would protect her from anyone coming after her. But secondly, do I really want to go through with it? ”

Internally she knew her answer - she would do it - but this wouldn’t just affect her. She was forever tied to Paul and whilst they were friends now, there was no telling if it would stay that way. Meaning he would be in Ellie’s life, just as he would be in Noelle’s.

“ Follow your heart ‘Elle. You’ll find the right answer in time. ”

His hand weighs heavy on her shoulder before it disappears, her eyes tracking as he walks back towards the pack. A soft smile gracing her lips as she catches all the words he wasn’t saying. In that simple exchange, he was solidifying that he would stand behind her every choice. That he would support them and be on her side.

_ It was all she needed _ .

All though is pushed aside as Billy calls for everyone to settle around the fire, she wanders over, settling on the sand and leaning her head back on the large log that Daryl and Paul were seated on. The way she did it made it look like a random decision but it was one she’d made on purpose. She was the bridge between the two men, she loved them both and whilst  _ one was her forever _ , she wasn’t about to shut the other one out of her life either. And thus, the decision made by her seating choice.

As she notes her brother nod softly in her direction, his hidden message is clear.  _ She’d made the right choice _ .

It had been years since she heard the stories, the last time being when she was a petulant teenager who would rather do anything but listen to them. And yet she could remember the softness of Billy’s voice, the way he lulled everyone into the tale. Her eyes are firm on the fire as he speaks and she finds that even now, at twenty-four years old, she was just as weak to the power in Billy’s voice. 

Yet with both an adult way of thinking and her new knowledge of the truth behind it. She finds that the magic felt different - as a child she’d laughed whenever the cold ones were mentioned. She was an Anne Rice fan growing up so it had amused her, but now, she can easily identify the truth and horror dancing within each spoken word.

Her full attention is drawn at the mention of the wolves, wanting to relive the words she’d forgotten. The side of the story she was now not only related too but also linked. Her head resting absentmindedly against Paul’s knee as she pulls his heat into her chilled skin but also the comfort of him being close.

She snorts softly as she listens to Billy say it was impossible for an imprint and wolf to be separated, amusement colouring her features as she meets Jared’s gaze. A soft chuckle behind her has her head turning to see Paul looking ahead, and yet his chest shaking from the laughter he was barely concealing. He too understanding what she was snorting at.

Facing forward again, she allows Billy to once more wrap her in the cocoon of his voice, her attention firmly set on reliving the stories that she had once thought were nothing more than a bedtime story. And yet now she knew they were real, and with every word Billy speaks, she can call forth an image of what was being told.

It was magical, both in its delivery and the sounding of it. Which she guessed was why so many had ignored it, shuck it off as mere folklore. But now, she realised the true weight that settled behind each word. Boys were forced to grow up too fast and take on an enemy that was better left in the fiction they either read or watched. Not to be something they faced every day.

And as the stories continue it’s a feeling she can’t shake and she finds herself feeling tainted. What should be enjoyable only made her worry over those she knew, yes they may be cocky and believe they were untouchable. But it didn’t help her worry. If anything it simply grew.

Her eyes drift over every wolf, watching their face as she sees the internal battles they were all battling. The stories washed over them and settled deep inside their chest as they knew the true weight. Bringing her hand up she wipes at the absent tear that was tracking its way down her cheek.

She hated this. When had her life truly gone from something normal to something that would be found in the deepest depths of a fiction novel  **?**

After the tales are told, Noelle watches as people start to bleed into different groups. Some discussed the legends and the weight of them, making jokes as though half of them didn’t know they were real. Others talked about plans for the weekend and patrol schedules. But she drifts off closer to the shore, watching the way the moonlight danced across the waves creating a perfect picture of serenity.

“ It’s all true, isn’t it. ”

She turns as a voice cuts through the solitude and sees Daryl looking out at what she’d previously been watching. His face set in a look of admittance, admittance that what Billy had just spoken weren’t just stories.

“ Yeah,  _ they are _ . ” She sighs softly as she nods.

She looks back towards the fire to see Paul, Leah and Sam watching them intently, their supernatural hearing no doubt giving them the advantage of eavesdropping. Yet it was the look on their faces that belayed their worry - all three of them wondering what Daryl was going to do.  _ For different reasons and the same all at once _ .

“ And the imprinting ? ” Daryl asks looking at her.

Again she nods in response and watches as resignation settles behind his eyes. “ You and Paul. ” 

His words only just add to the fact he was far smarter than she had ever given him credit for. Where most people heard the legends and thought they were folklore,  _ Daryl had heard them and put the pieces together _ . A scary concept in reality, but one that was very fitting for the male before her.

“ Six years ago. When I still lived here. ” 

Daryl’s soft laugh has her sinking her teeth into her bottom lip as her eyebrow raises in his direction. Right now he was confusing her beyond belief. She had expected him to be angry, to call her out on her lies and yet he was laughing at her. He was making her damn head spin.

“ What’s so funny ? ” 

“ I wanted to hate him, Paul. I wanted to hate him for owning your heart for the last six years. ” Despite his words, nothing but mirth danced in his words. “ But you can’t fight fate. ” 

Yeah, that wasn’t what she expected him to say.

“ No, I guess you can’t. ” She mutters as her eyes subconsciously drag back to Paul.

“ You’re trying aren’t you ? ” Daryl asks idly and Noelle looks back at him.

She doesn’t answer, because truly she was. She was fighting the fact that every part of her wanted to forgive Paul, to ignore what she’d said about friends. And yet she was still carrying the pain of what he did, the fact that she wasn’t sure she could let him in fully and trust that he would take her decisions into account. Or would just make ones he thought were best for her.

So yeah, she was fighting fate. She was fighting her own.

Movement catches her attention and she watches as a few of the pack take off into the woods, confusion blooming over her face as she watches it. But at the same time, she can feel a trickle of fear spread over her spine, the urgency with which they were moving making her worry that the vampire was close.  _ Or that something else has happened _ .

“ There’s a reason I’m here, isn't there ? ” Daryl asks, firmly dragging her attention back to him.

It takes her a moment to register what it was he asked and as it settles in. She wonders just how far she could take this conversation. She had promised Leah that she wouldn’t interfere, but that she would help. And she knew to tell Daryl about the imprint was crossing a big boundary that she had no right crossing.

“ Yeah, there is. Just promise me you’ll remember this conversation. About not being able to fight fate. ” 

He nods and pulls her into his side, his arm settling on her shoulder and she physically relaxes under his touch as he slowly rubs his hand up and down her arm in a soothing motion. And yet internally she was a goddamn mess, anxiety and panic were running rampant. Her heartfelt as though it was slamming violently against her chest and at any moment was going to break free.

This imprint business was going to be bad for her  _ health and sanity _ .

Her name being shouted has her turning as she sees Seth running over to her, barefoot, shirtless and idly fasting up his cut-offs.

“ ‘’Elle we need you. ” Seth pants, panic and fear settled within his dark eyes. “ Daryl, you too. ” 

The two of them share a glance before they’re moving after Seth. Noelle’s feet carrying her almost robotically as she heads into the forest. Careful of the fallen branches and foliage, her eyes dance around wildly as though wondering just what the hell Seth needed them for.

_ Soon she gets her answer _ .

Walking through two large trees she watches as the scene gives way to a clearing, wolves gathered in a semi-circle but it was the body on the floor that catches her total attention. The smell of blood now drifting towards her on the air as she makes note of the deep slashes decorating the male’s chest. He wasn’t a part of the tribe, that much she knew.

It takes her a moment to react, Daryl having already moved from her side to kneel in the foliage and set to work. But for Noelle, her body freezes. The awareness that whoever attacked the male had been so close to the bonfire, causing fear to grip her heart. Her breath stuttering in her chest before she shoves it away, finally willing her body to move into action

She crashes to her knees next to Daryl, her hands immediately settling on the male’s stomach to staunch the flow of blood, Daryl’s observations settling in her mind as she clocks the injuries too as well as goes through the motions of what they needed to do. It was a good five minutes from the beach to where they were, and moving him right now would result in him dying unless they did some sort of miracle in the next few moments.

Shifting to allow Daryl access to the wound, she walked closer to the large silver wolf standing off to her right side, reaching over towards the cord around his leg. Paul, seeming to understand what she wanted, shifts to allow her to undo it, grabbing his shirt from the small bundle she shoots him a small smile before shifting back to the body.

The only sound that fills the small clearing is the sound of ripping material and medial words exchanged between Noelle and Daryl. The wolves were a steady presence behind them and idly, Noelle was praising Daryl in her mind. He was handling the wolf issue a bit better than she had. But she knew right now he was in medical mode and that trumped everything.

A curse tumbles off her lips as the man stops breathing and acting quickly she starts compressions, her fingers tilting the males head back as she breathes for him. Prayers ringing out in her mind that he lived, that he breathed as she continued to compress his chest and blow air into his lungs. Blood clings to the side of her face from listening to his chest, but she didn’t care.

Turning her head wildly, she looks at her brother. “ Tell Sue to prep an OR immediately, if by some miracle we can stabilise him,  _ he’s going to need immediate surgery _ . ” 

She is aware her words are almost a command, but as the large black head of her brother nods, she knows he wasn’t going to hold that over her head. Smiling minutely she turns back, her hands moving in quick tandem with Daryl’s. The two of them push everything else out of their minds as they do what they were trained for -  _ saving a life _ .

The seconds seem to drag on as they work but soon enough he’s stable enough and Noelle moves out the way as Daryl instructs Paul, Sam, Jared and Jacob in the best way to move the body and not undo the work they’d just done. Moving ahead of them she leads the way out of the forest,  _ and towards the clinic _ . Her steps hurried and she also knew right now she probably looked like some messed up reject from a horror film.

Pushing open the doors to the clinic she moves out the way as the others come through, immediately falling into step as the male is placed on the gurney. Her fingers pressed against his pulse as she counted the beats, sighing in relief that he was still stable. 

“ Our surgeon isn’t here. ” Sue says apologetically as her eyes land on Noelle.

“ Daryl – ” she starts but she can see him already stripping off his bloody jacket and rolling up his shirt sleeves.

“  _ I’ve got it _ . Noelle are you good to help me, Sue you too if you can. ” 

Noelle nods once at his words, she’d never truly done surgeries, she was stationed in the ER after all but at this moment she wasn’t going to let anyone down.  _ Daryl or the male that needed their help _ . She looks over at the wolves all gathered and then back at Daryl as he starts giving out orders, Sue and her falling into step right along behind him.

_ Who knew a simple bonfire would end in life-saving surgery _ .


	22. Trouble in your kiss.

**\- La Push, Washington -**

**\- Noelle -**

There was nothing scarier in the world than holding someone’s life in your hands and Noelle wasn’t sure if it was a feeling that would  _ ever go away _ . No matter how hard she had trained in the ER, no matter how much she went through the same routines day in and day out. Being the only tether between someone living and dying, it would forever rock her down to the foundations of her soul.

Even as she stood in the operating room, watching and observing as Daryl worked so efficiently, she couldn’t be truly sure if this was something she’d ever forget. Between them and Sue they moved like a well-oiled machine as both of them took Daryl’s orders and helped the patient beneath them. If an outsider was to look at the scene they would think they’d done this a thousand times. 

_ But they’d miss the important details _ .

Like how Noelle’s hands were shaking slightly as she handed over the instruments that Daryl asked for, or alternated with Sue on cleaning up the blood that trickled from the wounds. They’d miss how Sue’s voice shook with  _ fear and trepidation  _ showing the softness that resided underneath the hard mask she wore as a council member.  _ A mask she wore as the mother of wolves _ . They’d also miss the way Daryl’s features contorted in stress and worry as he fought against time to save the patient.

The details were small, barely-there in the larger scope of things. And yet she saw them  _ all _ . Watched it all play out like a distorted movie for her eyes only. Her mind torn between what was happening below her and constantly replaying the scene in the forest over and over.

What had started as an innocent bonfire, had turned into something Noelle had never imagined it could. She found herself wondering what would have happened if she and Daryl hadn’t attended, would the man still be dying in the woods. Or would the pack have gotten him to Sue in time? Questions she shouldn’t have been thinking about at such a time bounced around in her head and left her feeling light-headed.

As a nurse she was taught to identify everything, to never miss an injury or a flicker of behaviour. Yet right now she wished she could, wished with all her might that she could erase the images churning inside of her mind. 

She’s luckily freed from her thoughts as she hears the words she didn’t realise she was waiting for - the words that they were finished. Her hazel eyes drift to the heart monitor and a sigh of peace echoes off her lips as she sees the stable beat of the male’s heart.  _ A sign that he was okay _ , that he would survive. For right now at least, but she didn’t want to think about. He was okay and that was all that mattered.

She refused to think about the fact that they could still lose him. Death danced in everyone’s shadow, it was something she’d learnt as a child, but she prayed that they’d gone and chased it away this time.

She shifts to the side as Sue steps forward to help Daryl close the wound, her attention now completely drawn by the elder woman as she sets to work on something that Noelle could clearly see she’d done more than she had. At that moment the age and experience of the two nurses were as plain as night and day. Yet she had no bitterness over that fact, instead, she just had a  _ happy acceptance _ that at least someone better trained was doing such a mundane but needed task.

Walking out the operating room and disposing of her bloodstained clothing she mandirs through the routine of cleaning off her skin before escaping the sterile room and the feeling of the walls closing in on her. The heat of the corridor slamming into her as she collapses against the wall just to the left of the door. The adrenaline from both the rescue and the operation bleeding from her and leaving nothing but a tired husk in its place. Her stomach threatening to revolt as her mind once more tortures her.

She barely catches herself as her knees buckle beneath her causing her body to drag harshly down the wall and her frame to hit the floor with a loud smack. Rearranging her tangled limbs she tucks her knees into her chest and rests her forehead against them. Her breath drags across her teeth harshly as she fights to stave off the panic that was threatening to consume her whole.

During the whole rescue and operation, she’d managed to ignore one glaringly obvious fact -  _ of how close the attacker had come _ . The number of bodies that had been at the bonfire, both pack and regular members of the tribe meant that the unknown male could have easily been someone she knew. It could have easily been her and that fact was what made her panic.

Was the man a part of some twisted game of hide and seek, or was the attacker sending a message? Using a near-dead guy -  _ an innocent bystander _ \- to do it. To say she was scared was a huge fucking understatement, no matter how she tried, she couldn’t put on the act that she was okay. That she was strong, as one quick remembrance of the scene she and Daryl found left her once more feeling as fearful as a child in the dark.

“ Ellie ? ”

Her name brings her head up to level on her brother, tears dancing across her face she hadn’t even been aware had fallen till that moment. A second barely ticks by before she feels his heated arms wrap around her, cocooning her in a hold of safety and she finally let’s go of everything she’d been holding back. There in her brother's arms, she lets the panic grip her and force strangled sobs to rip their way out of her clogged throat.

Sam’s arms only tighten around her further as she rests against his chest, beneath her ear she can feel his heart beating in a soothing tempo but it does nothing against the rage of pain that was lashing its way through her body. She wasn’t sure what she was crying for, the man, the panic or was it the last dregs of her adrenaline leaving her.

“ I’m scared, big brother. ”

Her whisper was silent but Sam hears her anyway, his body growing rigid beneath her as his arms subconsciously tighten across her shoulders. His sigh dancing across the crown of her head as he decides to stay silent, for what could he truly say. He couldn’t tell her she was safe,  _ as no one was right now _ . And the body was just further indication of that. Whilst yes she did feel safe with the pack around, she also didn’t at the same time. It was a precarious position to be in and yet it was the one she was stuck in.

The two Uley’s drift into a reluctant silence as they sit there, time ticking against them as Noelle fights to contain her tears and Sam did the best he could to hold her together.  _ A shitty outcome for both involved _ .

She wasn’t sure of how much time had passed, Instead, she focused on what she did, now aware that the tears had dried against her cheeks. leaving behind the feeling of cotton wool stuffed inside her head and burning around her eyes. Her throat felt dry and raw from the sobs that had ripped it apart.

“ What happens now ? ” she asks reluctantly, her head shifting so she could raise her gaze to Sam’s.

His eyes pop open as his head falls forward from the relaxed lean he had against the wall. “  _ We hunt _ . ”

A shiver trails down her spine at the lazy and feral way in which her brother spoke those two simple words. In any other situation, they would seem odd but in the one before them,  _ it was perfectly placed _ . Yet it did nothing to stop the widening of her eyes or the way she seemed to pull away from him a little. Her eyes shifting across the plains of his face as though looking for any sign he was joking.

_ There weren’t any _ .

Swallowing loudly she nods as she settles back into her previous position, pearl white teeth dragging her lip between them as she bites down harsh enough to cause blood. She had thought she had come to terms with the fact her brother and her friends were wolves.  _ But with two words _ , she was once again shown that she still didn’t understand it all, or was still blind to what it meant for them.

A threat had come onto their land, near their families leaving only one solution of how to deal with it.

“ How ? ” her lips form the words before her mind catches up. Her breath stutters in her chest as she waits to see if he’d answer her or not.

She was still learning her place in the pack hierarchy, she was an imprint as well as the alpha’s sister. Though she wasn’t exactly sure of what it truly meant, of the weight she carried or if that meant she would stay just as blind as the others. Would her brother go against his promise to never lie to her again if it was for the betterment of the pack? The sides of brother and alpha now becoming a constant battle within him.

Sam’s rich sigh drags her back to the situation at hand and out of her musings “ I’m not sure. ”

She could feel the weight her brother carried, his words so confidant in their deliverance, but beneath that bravado lived a  _ beast known as self-doubt _ . It was so minute she was sure she missed it but she knew her brother, knew him better than most that lived inside his head and right now he was doubting himself.

“ You’ll figure it out. ” She soothes softly. Leaning up, her lips press gently against his cheek before her head returns to resting on his shoulder. “ Do you need anything of me and Daryl ? ”

She wasn’t asking as a sister, she was asking as members of her brother’s pack and whatever he needed from her. Whatever she needed to do to ease the stress that had settled itself like iron bars on his shoulders -  _ she’d do it _ .

“ Can the two of you stay here on the rez ? ” he asks, an air of reluctance wrapping around each syllable. “ It’s just, Paul is my best front line and Leah’s one of our fastest. And right now I need them, and if they’re worried about you two – ”

“ Consider it done, ” she utters the words quickly cutting off her brothers as she shifts out of his arms so that she could face him. “ I’ll see if mom will let us stay with her. We’ll use the excuse we’re needed down here due to the accidents still happening. I’m sure Carlisle will cover for us. ” 

It didn’t escape her notice that she was putting a lot of faith in a leech but at this moment she prayed the vampire truly understood the pack mechanics and would help Noelle and Daryl fit within that world. Yes, there was still a lot that Daryl needed to know, but right now,  _ it wasn’t about either of them _ . It was the betterment of the tribe and the innocent people being hurt.

“ What about the girl, Ellie ? ” she asks softly. “ I don’t trust her alone in Forks. ” 

It had nothing to do with the fact she could potentially be adopting her, all she could think was that without her stream of bodyguards protecting the hospital. The little girl would now be left unattended. And that just left a cold feeling inside of Noelle’s heart.

“ See if Sue can get her moved down here. I don’t want her left alone either.” 

The look in her brother's eyes told her he knew about the potential adoption, and like she’d eased his worries, he was now trying to do the same in return. A grateful smile hitches up her lips before she stands. Her hand reaches out to help him to his feet though she’s sure he does most of it by himself.  _ After all _ , moving him would be like moving a mountain and she sure as shit wasn’t that strong.

Once her brother congeals back to his full height she wraps her arms around him in a hug, soaking up as much of his heat and strength as she could. Begrudgingly pulling apart she smiles softly before turning and heads off to find both Daryl and Sue to apologise leaving as she did. 

She finds them sequestered in the staff room and injects herself into the conversation with liquid ease and soon the three of them begin to set up a care routine for the male,  _ who they still didn’t know the name of _ , as well as a system that would help him recover from the attack. He would forever be scarred, even Sue’s neat stitches couldn’t erase that, but he would live. 

Even Noelle would take the  _ scars over dying _ if she was in his position.

As the conversation lulls towards silence, she sighs softly before bringing up the one with her brother. Her eyes set firmly on Daryl as she explains how her brother wanted them in La Push where he knew they were safe. Understanding and confusion settling in his gaze before he too agreed to do just that. His fingers reaching for his phone to make the call that would chain them both to the reservation for the foreseeable future.

She watches Sue as Daryl talks and could see the elder woman already accepting her daughter's imprint with ease. Not just because it was Leah’s destiny,  _ but because of the man he was and how understanding his nature was _ . She was looking at him like a mother that was happy with the outcome of her daughter’s life and could finally breathe easy. And as Sue catches her looking, the two share a private smirk over that fact. Daryl was going to have his hands full with Leah, but he was the perfect man for the job.

Excusing herself she begins to walk the corridors, her body thrumming with unspent energy and the sheer need to do something. Sitting around had never been her forte and despite having none of the adrenaline from earlier, she still needed to move.

A heated hand settles on her shoulder and she jumps from the contact, her head spinning wildly to the side, her heart racing ahead of her breathing as she looks at Paul. his hands raised in surrender as she curses softly, her hand raising to settle against her chest as though she could calm the now erratic beating.

“ Announce yourself Fido, I don’t fancy a heart attack before I’m twenty-five.” 

His honey bass chuckle washes over her and her hand shoots out to hit against his stomach lightly, highly aware that anything harder would once more leave her with a broken hand.

His eyes smoulder with mirth as his laughter dies down to soft chuckles, his gaze locked firmly on hers. “ I’ll make sure to remember that for future reference. ” 

“ Please do or you’re in the doghouse for the foreseeable future. ” 

Okay so apparently she was back to making dog jokes. Her head shook softly as she fought to control the laughter that wanted to break free of her chest. Yet she wasn’t sure if she could stop once she started and she’d already cried once tonight, she didn’t need to start laughing like an insane person.

“ You okay Elle ? ” 

His soft bass grounds her and she nods softly as he steps forward, his muscular arm settling over her shoulders and once more she finds herself trapped within a heated hug. Yet where her brothers had been the comforting embrace of a sibling, Paul’s felt like a  _ lifeline amid the storm _ her life was now. Her head rested against his heat as it burned into her skin and chased away the chills that lingered behind.

“ No. But we gotta get up and carry on,  _ right _ ? ” 

A small voice in the back of her head questioned if she’d ever be okay again or was this her life now, was she to forever be waiting and anticipating when a supernatural creature was going to attack. Forever worrying about everyone she cared about and trying to breathe and survive in the middle of it all.

The simple answer -  _ no _ . She would never be okay again, because this was her life whether she liked it or not. And that was her future as the imprint of a wolf, friend to many and the sister of another. 

“ I’m sorry Elle. ” his words washed over her hair in a sigh and she frowns in confusion.

“ For what ? ” she asks, tilting her head to look at him. “ This isn’t your fault Paul. And before you say you brought me into this life. You didn’t, fate did and whilst yes she is a bitch. This is my life, this is your life and we will figure it all out. Even if we stumble, we will make it work. ” 

She pulls away from him so she could look at his face, his hands coming to settle against her hips and she’s highly aware of the way they mould against her so easily. As though they were made to settle there, his heat soaking through her borrowed scrubs and setting fire to her very veins. But she was trying not to focus on that - even if it was difficult - and instead stay routed on their current conversation.

“ Elle – ” 

Shaking her head she leans up on her tiptoes, her lips pressing against his as her hands come to hook behind his neck. Every word she couldn’t say was being whispered through her skin and all she could do was hope he interpreted them the way she wanted.

Yes she had said she wanted to be friends, and that was something they really needed to work on but right now she had one job and that was to make him stop worrying about her and focus on the hunt they had to go on. Every one of her instincts told her that was what she was to do, and whether it was fate or intuition.  _ She wasn’t about to ignore it _ .

She gasps as she pulls away, her eyes locking with his obsidian ones that were swimming in love. Love for her and it almost chokes her with its intensity and yet, she wanted to drown. She wanted to relive what it was to be loved by him.

“ Right now you need to focus solely on finding that wayward corpse and I need to focus on staying put on the reservation and being a  _ good little girl _ . ” 

His lips hitch into a decadent smirk and she really wanted to kiss him again. “ Do you know how to behave ? ” 

“ Oh darling, you have no idea. ” She returns his jest with one of her own and is glad when she sees the worry from before slip out of his eyes.

She could feel her feet moving, the wall pressing against her back drawing a soft gasp from her lips as she stands pressed between the unyielding wall and the heated expanse of Paul.

“ I thought you said we were friends ? ” 

She didn’t blame him for his question, it was valid after all. “ I did – ” 

His eyebrow hitches as the opposite side of his lips curls into a smirk, a whimper escaping her lips at the sight before she could contain it. Yet before she could speak, think or even plan to do anything his lips are pressed against hers one more. This kiss is far more heated than the other and her body bows beneath him willingly. 

His mere touch was kerosene to gasoline as she burned right there in his arms, burned with desire and the sheer need to be close.  _ To feel him beneath her _ .

As he pulls away, his lips ghosting down across her jaw before leaving her skin completely she takes a moment to right herself. Her breathing becomes easier as he takes a step back giving her space and the room to organise her thoughts. Her cheeks flush with heat as her eyes open and lock on his.

“ I gotta say,  _ baby _ , I love your version of friends. ” 

Her mouth drops open as he winks before turning and strolling down the corridor as though he hadn’t just thoroughly kissed all common sense right out of her mind. She gaped after him and knew at that moment, she was screwed. 

She was once more in his trap and just like when she was younger,  _ she’d walked into it willingly _ .


	23. This is my future.

**\- La Push, Washington -**

**\- Noelle -**

A groan rattles deep inside of her chest as she leans her head on the cool polished finish of the desk, her arms hanging limply at her side as she breathes in steadily. A grimace passing over her lips as she feels the small headache continue to thrum at the back of her neck, her vision blurring slightly from the lack of sleep and the pressure of the building ache. Around her voices bristled one over the other adding to the level of her pain.

She loved her job, she really did. But at times like this, when no one knew what silence was. When officers were barking orders as civilians begged for answers at a volume that was more suiting for outside, she hated it. There wasn’t any respite to be had as everyone clamoured to be heard and as the medical personnel, all she could do was sit and listen to it grow in intensity. It fucking sucked.

In her whole time living on the reservation, she had never known the clinic to be this busy. Filled to the brim with angry residents and officers from Forks. All demanding answers to the attacks, if anything one would be forgiven for thinking it was the bloody council hall. It sure as shit sounded like one, and with a small glance she sees Billy calming stewing in the middle of everyone. Which only added to the illusion painted before her.

She understood the residents, she really did understand them - even if Tiffany Call needed to turn the volume down - someone was out there hurting people. And whilst the answers were not ones that could be shared in great detail, it was still innocent lives that were suffering from La Push to Forks. So she truly didn’t blame them for wanting their answers, all she wished was that they’d ask for them at a quieter volume, or at the council building. That was also a good location.

Sighing softly she pushes back from the desk and wearily stands before heading further into the clinic, breathing a sigh of relief as the noise starts to quieten the further she got from the rowdy crowd. Sue gave her a knowing look as she passed the council member in the halls. And whilst she knew there should be a tinge of judgement for the way she bailed and left Daryl right there in the midst of it all. She didn’t care. Her head was throbbing and she just wanted peace.

_ That and she only had ten minutes left on her shift _ .

Ducking into one of the private rooms, she smiles as she notes Ellie sitting up and drawing in the book situated before her. Around the small child was a variety of crayons as well as stuffed bears -  _ courtesy of the doctors _ \- and to an outsider, it looked like chaos but to the small child, everything was in its perfect spot. She leans against the wall for a moment, basking in the silence the child offered as she watches her, sees the concentration painted all over her face.

It had been nearly a week since she and Daryl had been locked down on the rez, and things hadn’t gotten any easier. Less than twenty-four hours after they saved the life of the first man, who they now knew was called James, a female had turned up with the same injuries. Prompting the pack to run consistent patrols around the area, and yet still the vampire in question kept slipping past them and leaving bloody presents in the form of people as though this was some game.

Which she guessed it was in a sense, shifters were born to kill vampires, so why not taunt the pack that was hunting you down. The pack that was no closer to catching you then they were when they started. And whilst she hated the thought of them out there, she’d never felt safer in her life. Knowing that the pack would do anything, were doing anything they could to protect people.

It was why now the bodies were from Forks,  _ not La Push _ .

And after Sue and Carlisle had managed to get Ellie transferred down to the clinic, she’d become even more at peace. Knowing the little girl was no longer a target for the psycho who was playing a long game of cat and mouse. And watching as she grew each day, becoming more and more lively as she got better, well it called to something deep in Noelle’s heart. Something she hadn’t even known existed till she looked in the eyes of the little girl.  _ Her maternal streak _ .

Don’t get her wrong, she’d always known one day she would be a mother. But she’d always planned it much later in her life, so therefore she’d never really interacted with children besides the occasional patient in the ER, or her cousins if she was willing to visit them. But when she’d looked at Ellie, she’d felt an intense need to protect the little girl from the things that went bump in the night. A need that led to her declaring -  _ very loudly _ \- that she’d adopt the child. A process that was now underway after she realised it just felt true.

As though the spirits, _ the ones she’d previously ignored _ , were telling her it was something she needed to do.

Afterall the gods had left her to Paul, or back to Paul as it were, so maybe they were right in this situation. That Ellie needed her, needed something that only she could give.  _ Either way _ , she was going to stop fighting it, no longer was she just going to sit by and ignore the plight of the small child before her. She needed love, and Noelle had enough to give.

“ Hey little one. ” she sighs, gaining Ellie’s attention. “ Fancy busting outta this place for a while. ”

There was something about watching a child’s eyes light up with the promise of freedom that she really wouldn’t ever get over witnessing. As right now, as it swam in the innocent eyes of Ellie, she wanted to drown in it. To remember what it was like to be so innocent, to not be truly afraid of the things that go bump in the night.

“ Can we go see Sammy and Jar-Jar ? ” 

A chuckle inadvertently crawls up her throat as she hears Ellie’s nicknames for Sam and Jared, the two wolves had been intermittent visitors since Ellie had moved to La Push. Mostly they were checking in on Noelle but given she was with Ellie, it meant the two things coincided together. And despite their huge frames and sometimes stony looks, the three-year-old had attached herself to the two of them, finding two walking teddy bears that she had no idea were some of the wolves Noelle had once said were protecting her.

“ Yeah sweetie, we’ll see if they’ve finished work and are available for cuddles. ” she winks at the end of her words and is rewarded with soft peals of laughter.

Moving she heads over to the drawers that held Ellie’s clothes,  _ bought by Noelle’s mum _ , and grabs her an outfit to head out in. It wasn’t normal medical practice to allow a patient to leave but Sue and Daryl were both turning a blind eye to the fact. Allowing her time to bond with Ellie, so that when it came to the hopeful approval of the adoption,  _ the two had a bond that would last _ .

Humming softly she helps Ellie get dressed and packs some of her colouring books and crayons into the small rucksack that was situated on the chair beside the bed. Settling Ellie back down she promises to be back once she gets changed and heads back into the main area of the hospital, sighing in relief as she sees the rabble from earlier had dispersed once more leaving the hospital in calming silence.

“ Are you heading out ? ” Sue asks, turning to look at her as she steps near.

Nodding softly she reaches for the signing out sheet. “ Yeah, I’m gonna take Ellie to Sam’s for a little bit. Let her have some fresh air due to being stuck here whilst I worked my double shift. ” 

Sue laughs at the tease encompassed in her words, as after all the double shift was because she’d covered one of Sue’s shifts, and well the two of them knew it. But given it was pack business that had dragged the council member away from her medical duties, Noelle couldn’t argue, nor could she let anyone find out about the pack. Now it was her secret, just as much as the elder woman’s.

“ I think Emily is babysitting Claire today, so Ellie will have a friend. ” 

She nods once at Sue’s words before heading off to the staff room to get changed, her mind distracted as she grabs her clothes and heads for a quick shower to wash away the smell of the hospital. She was thinking over everything, from how her life had changed since coming back home.

She’d come home engaged and ready to take on the next chapter of her life - now she was an imprint, in a complicated relationship with her ex, her ex-fiancee was the imprint of her friend and she was about to be a mother at twenty-four. And on top of that her ex, her friend,  _ and her brother were all wolves _ .

It wasn’t something that could be made up, no one could come up with a story such as that and expect readers to believe it. Yet it was her life, it was the written word of her destiny it would seem and whilst, she’d never put much stock in it before. Now destiny kept slapping her in the face with huge neon signs, signs that were far too hard to ignore. Even if some of it had her kicking her feet and protesting. And other parts had her wanting to bang her head against the wall repeatedly. One thing she did know.

_ She was done fighting destiny _ .

Yes, she was still angry about certain things. She wasn’t sure if the anger would ever go away. But she was done letting it control her. She was done letting it seep into her heart and poison everything she touched. When she felt the anger before, she stopped herself from feeling the good things, like love, friendship and happiness. Her anger consumed everything, burning through it like wildfire and leaving behind charred remains. She was an empty husk,  _ void of light _ . Now she had the promise of light, she had the promise of happiness and instead of fighting against it, instead of slamming the door, she was going to embrace it.

So what if her life wasn’t normal. She wasn’t even sure she wanted normal, it was too boring. But the one thing she did know was she wanted what she had. The promise of her future, with her brother,  _ her wolf _ , her pack and now -  _ her daughter _ .

Shaking her head she quickly towels her hair dry before throwing it into a loose ponytail and changes into her jeans and a band shirt that belonged to her brother pre-phasing. Slipping her feet into converses she grabs her back and makes her way back to Ellie’s room. A soft smile upturning the corner of her lips as she sees her grabbing the wolf teddy tightly.

It had been a small jest between her and Shay when the teenager had handed it over for Ellie, Shay having been the only other witness to the words she’d said and yet they both knew the truth. Now it was one of Ellie’s favourite stuffed toys and it went everywhere with her. Both Shay and herself couldn’t stop their smiles whenever they saw her with it.

Smiling, she holds out her arms, laughing freely as Ellie jumps into her arms, the wolf hitting her softly on the side of the head with the three-year-old’s excitement and after situating her better. She heads off towards her brothers, enjoying the silence as Ellie watches the scenery around her,  _ drinking it in and feeling at peace _ . She could see it in the way her small shoulders dropped and a huge sigh would flutter off her lips as she dragged in lungfuls of fresh air. It was a brilliant sight, to see that Noelle wasn’t the only one relaxed by where she grew up.

_ It would do wonders when the adoption was finalised _ .

“ ‘Elle ? ” the soft voice breaking her out of her musings as she looks down at Ellie. “ Will, you ever leave me ? ” 

A frown mars her face as the words cut deep, the wounds lashing across her heart and making anger flare inside of her. Not for the question, but towards the vampire once more. For ripping the small girl from her parents and leaving her alone in a world that she had no right to be involved in. But would forever be intertwined.

“ No sweetheart. Nothing and no-one will ever be able to make me leave you. It’s me and you forever okay. ” 

A small nod is all she receives and it has her sighing, confirmation not needed but actions were. She could understand it, after being abandoned by her brother she needed his actions to know it would never happen again. Anyone could spout words, but actions would always speak louder. Which is why she’d already made the mental conviction that she’d spend every day showing Ellie that she wasn’t going anywhere, she would fight for her till there wasn’t any breath in either of their lungs.

Ellie’s excitement ramps up as they get closer to Sam’s and as they turn into the driveway, she has no option but to lower the excited toddler. Watching as she gains her bearings before taking off running, her small feet slapping against the mud drive as she runs towards the porch. Hazel eyes watch as the screen door is pushed open to reveal the hulking figure of her older brother as he moves quickly and gathers up the excited child.

Hugging Ellie close, Sam looks up and meets her eyes, the two sharing a private moment of laughter at the exchange that happened a few moments ago as Noelle moves much slower towards her brother's house. Now she wasn’t putting on a facade for the toddler, she could feel every slither of tiredness as it bled into her frame. Wracking around her body like a ping pong ball and she was honestly curious to see how long she’d last before curling into a ball and sleeping for a week.

She gave herself an hour, any longer than that and she would be running on fairy dust and miracles.

Her steps are heavy on the wooden stairs as she climbs the porch and comes to a stop before Sam, his large bulky arm curling outwards before pulling her into his chest. His heat soaking straight through her clothes and warming her chilled skin. A murmur of enjoyment causes a ripple of laughter to build in Sam’s chest as he holds her closer, letting her head tuck under his chin just like they used to do when they were kids and Noelle was scared of the monsters in the dark.

_ Monsters she now knew were real _ .

“ Long shift ? ” Sam asks softly.

Her head nods as she finally extracts herself from the warm cocoon, lest she falls asleep stood up. “ Yeah, the shift itself was quiet. But dealing with the residents of the rez and the officers of forks having one big disagreement in the clinic’s reception left me with a killer headache. ” 

Her words are cryptic and filled with enough undertones to write a book but her stoic brother is quick on the draw, his head nodding minutely as she gathers what she was speaking about. His face turning to Ellie and recapturing her attention as the three of them turn to head into the kitchen. Emily’s smiling face greeting them with hugs and soft words.

No matter how many times she met the woman, she would always be surprised by her nature. So soft and caring but ready to stand and defend what she believed in. As much as Noelle hated to say it, given she knew the sordid history -  _ Emily really was made for her brother _ . She was the softness to his harsh lines, where he was stoic, Emily was all emotions. It was a good balance.

It reminded her in a sense of Jared and Kim - Jared was loud and obnoxious. It was often that you’d hear his laughter rise higher than those of his pack brothers. His lips forever up turning into a smirk that told of the jokes he was building inside of his mind.  _ But Kim _ , she was quieter. She didn’t speak up in a group and instead allowed her mate to be the centre of attention. She was meek to Jared’s outgoing. And whilst it was strange to see, it was also a perfect balance.

She wasn’t sure where she and Paul were balanced - given they could be quite alike. But Noelle also wasn’t digging into it. As digging into it meant acknowledging the fact that he still owned her heart and whilst she wasn't running from the truth anymore. She was still set on them at least attempting to be friends. Even if she was the one who instigated the kiss that day in the hospital. A kiss that even now she couldn’t forget and often found herself dreaming off.

It was annoying,  _ but not unwelcome _ .

Shaking her head she drifts back into the conversation, thankful no one really commented on the fact she zoned out as she let her eyes drift over to where Claire and Ellie were happily playing with dolls as though the two had been friends forever. It brought a smile to her face, to know some innocence remained inside the little girl and that the leech bastard hadn’t stolen all of it.

“ PAULIE ! ” 

Ellie’s loud screech makes her jump as she watches the three-year-old take-off and jumps into the large arms of Paul, the wolf in question grinning as he holds her close, listening to her babbles as though it was the greatest news he’d heard all day. The sight alone was cute, yet her mind couldn’t help but salivate at the image it presented. Of Paul with a child, a child that would hopefully be hers soon and the elder sibling to any the two would have together.

_ Shit, not good _ . She mutters inside of her mind as she once more shakes her head clear of the dangerous thoughts, her hands eagerly reaching out for the mug of warm tea Emily sets before her as she watches Ellie and Paul. Paul’s dark eyes drifted towards her with a smirk as though he could just guess what she’d been thinking about - like he always could. 

A smirk of her own dancing along the edges of her lips as she watches his mercurial gait bring him closer, his frame lowering to the bench beside her like poured liquid. It forever amazed her the grace in which the wolves moved, so silent and quick despite their hulking frames. But Paul was almost animalistic, a predator at ease within his skin.

“ You okay ? ” He asks, head tilting slightly as he adjusts the three-year-old in his arms. “ You look about ready to pass out. ” 

“ Is it that obvious ? ” she drawls lightly. “ I’m getting too old to work double shifts. ” 

A snort of laughter flutters in the air between them, Paul’s obsidian eyes shining with mirth as he shakes his head. His attention is drawn once more by Ellie as she tells him all about the dream she’d had the previous night, her sweet innocence believing that everyone needed to know. Or that Paul needed to know.

“ You two are staying for dinner right ? ” Sam asks drawing her attention

“ If I stay awake long enough, yeah. ”

Her brother nods as he heads back into the kitchen where Emily was preparing the food that she now realised was for dinner. Her eyes drift over to Paul as she wraps her hands around the warm mug, letting the heat settle into her skin. Her eyes watching Paul and Ellie closely and enjoying the sight of a man she knew was dangerous, a man she knew had one hell of a temper - sit there with a child in his lap listening to her babble.

“ Come here. ” 

A frown crinkles her features as she looks at Paul, her eyes blinking back the state of exhaustion that was slowly weighing her down. Shifting Ellie till she’s sitting on the table in front of him, Paul reaches forward and wraps an around her waist, dragging her into his side and with small adjustments, makes her rest against his side. His heat warming her better than a warm mug could ever do.

“ Get some rest, I’ll wake you when dinner’s ready. ” 

His words are like the softest lullaby in her head, each deep bass syllable wrapping around her mind and calling her to do what he wanted. And right here,  _ lost inside the heat of his side _ , his soft hand slowly tracing patterns on her hip through his shirt. She was willing to give in, even as she watched Ellie and him interact, the soft words he spoke to the girl only adding to the comfort.

As darkness slowly crept in and pulled her into the release of sleep - she became aware of one thing.  _ This was her family _ . Her dysfunctional and messed up family and she wouldn't take anything else.


End file.
